YOU WANT FUNNY?..I make funny for you!..
YOU WANT INTELLIGENCE?..I lend you some of mine!..
YOU WANT ROMANTIC? .I put you on a pedestal ( and then look up your dress)!...
You WANT COMPASSIONATE? I am good to widow and orphans..
YOU WANT NICE?..I give mine seat to you on NY subway but not look at you....
YOU WANT CONSIDERATE? In 14 years of marriage ex wife's tuchus never fell in toilet because toilet seat was left up!
YOU WANT KIND? Try calling ex-mother in-law hourly to tell her how wonderful her daughter is..
YOU WANT ACCOMMODATING? "OK dear I realize you have a headache ..so there is no need for sex tonight or for the next millenium".
YOU WANT PRINCE CHARMING? "Dear.. you will have no trouble slipping that 200lb frame of yours into that size 4 dress!..
YOU WANT SOMEONE WITH LISTENING SKILLS? I once sat through a scud missle attack and said nothing...imagine what I can do with you!
YOU WANT CULTURAL REFERENCES? "it's good to be the king"!
"My name is Inigo Montoya.. you killed my father...... prepare to die!"
"I am not a crook" "Truth but Verify"..should I go on ?
YOU WANT EMOTIONAL STABILITY?..."dear...I love you.... and will always love you"!
YOU WANT TRAVEL? How about traversing the ramparts in the old city Jerusalem... or Victoria's Peak Hong Kong.... circular stairwell at St. Paul's in London..or the Orient Express...
YOU WANT MUSICAL?....do re me fa so la te do...How's that for musicality!
YOU WANT SPORTS MINDED? "Able to leap small building with a single bound..."...I play tennis, Ping Pong...Ski...Snorkel...Bike...
"just do it"
YOU WANT a BIBLIOPHILE? --Might that have something to do with books?
YOU WANT SOMEONE POLYSYLLABIC?ugh...window.... ..diffident....operation..
Does that count?
YOU WANT KIDS? I have three i'll let you borrow them...but they don't do windows! You want your own?...then we better get busy...!
YOU NEED A FRIEND? That's where it all begins... I can make you laugh.smile and talk your ear(s) off.....I can actually do other things too...but mine mother always told me not to brag....but rather be .....humble......and wear clean underwear and be friendly to the girl next door...but not too friendly..
I PREFER TO BE HUMOROUS rather THAN HAUGHTY ..PLAYFUL instead of PRETENTIOUS.....
Not good at boasting....No pontifical prosaic here...
"of course he's jewish" .........
History of the World Part 1
Don't mess with the Zohan
Music...."the language of humans is music" ... me
Books--"Knowledge is good" Emil Faber
humor-The only reason to be here
books-See above quote
Art & Beauty-sugar plums dancing in my head...
good & plenty (the candy)
tuchus wipes--no comment!
Why people behave the way they do!
Sure....why not...let me spill my guts out..for all eternity!
My mother dragged me to Lord & Taylor at age 5
to 'try on brassierres'
I had (Spilkes) (Yiddish translation...Ants in my pants)
I pulled the fire alarm to 'get the hell out of there'!
END OF STORY!
Trophy wife..perfect breast to hip ratio.. , no yentas( nonstop talkers), no mavens( know it alls)., , no altacockers( big shots), no kibbitzers( time wasters), no dreyers(cant make up their mind), no divorcees, no kvetching( complainers), probably best if you don't talk much...only shiksas(non-jewish women) need apply. My woman needs to be like my kosher chicken ...PERFECT NO BLEMISHES!..BTW...All my parts are certified Kosher!
Remember...the next fad to fade is.... MEN...better get one while the going is good! Plus it's not fun having a socratic dialogue with myself...One jew...two opinions...it's giving me a migraine!
Seriously though....Looking for women who are intellectually superior to me(that shouldn't be to hard)... Ladies...please don't be shy ...maybe other guys don't want it..."but that's what i want" I'm after your brain...understand? It's my second favorite organ and at least it will STAND the test of time ..!
I'm in to wooing...lots and lots of wooing..(it has nothing to do with a train whistle)..woman should be wooed....it's biological..ladies if your not being wooed...find another guy...he's just not into you!