30Clinton, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Brutally Honest, Impeccably Sociable, and Relentlessly Sarcastic; but also Vigorously Eccentric and Wildly Adventurous. Other Adjectival Adjectives. (Why did I capitalize every first letter?)

These things are rarely interesting, or even read for that matter. I can guarantee (or your money back) that I'm not like 95% of the douche-canoe creepers on here. Sarcasm is my second language, possibly even first. Easy to get along with and quick-witted. I love fuzzy animals more than people.
What I’m doing with my life
Currently working as a Sterile Processing Tech at St John's Hospital.
I’m really good at
• Binge-watching shows on Netflix/Hulu.
• Making strangers feel comfortable and friends feel uncomfortable intentionally.
Being honest, hilarious, loyal, trustworthy, respectful, and a social butterfly. Typically the life of the party, without being the obnoxious asshat of said party.
The first things people usually notice about me
Tattoos, eyes, sick dance moves, controversial sense of humor, or my robust cleavage. My eyes are up here, perv.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
• Books - 50 Shades Of Gray (Kidding)
• Movies - Anything with Paul Rudd, Ryan Reynolds or Kate Beckinsale. Horror flicks are the bees knees.
• Music - Literally (Figuratively) Everything.
• Food - Chicken, Ranch, Chicken.
Six things I could never do without
• Sustenance
• Evolution
• Oxygen
• Functioning Organs
• Protective Ozone Layers
• Planetary Magnetic Field
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
On a typical Friday night I am
Waiting for your ass to get ready.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Why ruin the intrigue?
You should message me if
You're interesting, intelligent, moderately in shape, can hold a conversation, and haven't been diagnosed with Schitzofrenia.

Also, ladies need to keep the conversations interesting as well ya' know, not just us. Don't be dull as an oak plank and flatline the conversation.
The two of us