29Haag, Netherlands
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My self-summary
Dia dhuit, Hola, Bonjour, Ahoj, Привет, und guten Tag. Welcome to my profile.

USA-born, survived Bayern the last several years. Musical. Linguistic. I'm appreciating the German beer culture as much as I'm able as long as I'm here.

Note: I'm not in the Netherlands (YET!), but presently applying for some jobs in Holland, and looking to see what happens. In the meantime, as I'm applying, I'm crash-course learning Dutch. Ik spreek neid nederlands. But help would be appreciated!!! Bedankt :)

I do whatever a Spider-Pig does.

~~Why did Professor Snape teach Potions and not Herbology? Because his Lily died.
What I’m doing with my life
Figuring out where I went right. Or wrong. Or left.

Also investing time in inventing pick-up lines. Wanna find out how talented I am? Send me a message, and you'll receive a pickup-line personally catered to you, your profile, or your pictures!

~~If "pro" is the opposite of "con," what is the opposite of "progress?"
I’m really good at
Pfandflaschen sammeln.

I'm also really good at being bad at writing introductory messages.

Sarcasm, dry wit, dirty jokes, irony, and clearly making a great impression to those reading my profile.

Wortwitze, obwohl ich bin mit denen viel besser auf Englisch statt auf Deutsch.

~~How is an N64 controller like an old man? Eventually the stick gets worn out with age.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
TV Addictions: Dexter, How I met Your Mother, Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, Doctor Who, Psych, South Park, Arrested Development, Archer, Steven Colbert-John Oliver-Jon Stewart, Tatort, House of Cards, Doctor House, Suits, Sherlock

Yummy edibles: Eggs, pizza, and burn-your-tongue spicy food. Sushi.

Aural stimulation: Bach, Mozart, Chopin, Пётр Чайковский. Ich höre tatsächlich auch absolut. Also: video game music.

Guilty pleasures from Hollywood: Sherlock Holmes, Pirates, Django Unchained, James Bond films, LOTR, Rat Race, Shawshank Redemption, The Room... Netflix is amazing.

~~How do you know if a soprano is at your door? She doesn't know which key, and doesn't know when to come in.
Six things I could never do without
1) Sarcasm
2) Beer
3) Sarcasm
4) Coffee
5) The feeling of waking up in the morning without needing to set an alarm
6) Self-confidence
7) The ability to count
8) Companionship

~~I think my neighbor is stalking me. She was Googling my name on her computer last night, as I saw it through my telescope.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Well, what I DON'T spend a lot of time thinking about is reincarnation. But I did in a previous life. many laughs this profile has brought to you. Please share; feedback is most welcome. In fact, I also think about why people don't give feedback (in general) more often? Criticism doesn't sound like a pretty word, but criticism needn't be negative.

~~I bet you that I can stop gambling.
On a typical Friday night I am
Watching Disney films on Netflix, plotting world domination, staring deeply into a mirror and reflecting on my reflection.

~~The psychiatrist tells his grieving patient: "If you could tell your father one last thing, what would it be?" "We're so sorry for cremating you, we thought you were dead!"
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Size isn't everything. So please don't judge me solely on my 22cm penis.

I eat instant noodles incorrectly.

I won't hide the fact that I'm actually a fairly horny individual. It would be great to find someone who can also keep up with my, let's say activity, but don't get me wrong: I like to make certain that my partner is also well satisfied.

~~When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.
You should message me if
You speak German, English, French, Russian, Czech Spanish.

You want to watch Netflix films or series with me in my home theatre (on my beamer).

Proper grammar is one of my favorite aphrodisiacs. That being said: If I attempt to write in a language other than English, I still care about grammar and am trying to do it properly; it's simply that I may have a word wrong or grammar rule learnt incorrectly. I welcome criticism (hey, there's that word again) and appreciate when mistakes are pointed out.

You know the difference between they're, there and their, and your, you're, and yore.

You're welcome to ask any question you would like. Yes, any question. You get just one. I encourage you to use it wisely.

~~ I'm sorry, were you expecting yet another joke? Well, I guess you'll have to inquire within for more :P
The two of us