34Washington, United States
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My self-summary
Update: I ..... kind of like Fuller House?

"It's not how you stand next to your car, it's how you race your car. Ya better learn that. " - Maya Angelou

Finished Master of None, it's pretty great.

Actor John Cusack has blocked me on Twitter.

I've lived in hostle terrains such as Wisconsin and New Hampshire before settling down in DC. I've successfully completed the "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" with myself. Totally legitimate, but you'll have to message me to find out how I did it.

I went on my first date in the third grade. It was a nightmare, I spilled my Ecto Cooler juice box all over myself, I was a mess. I think it was indicative of my dating life to come, diving in head first, no-holds barred, and spilling something on myself.

I watch the national spelling bee just to make fun of the weird kids.

I'm a mid-west man. My grandmother once called me a free spirit, although she's also called me "Billy" on several occasions so I'm not sure how much I should take her assessment to heart. She's a wonderful woman though, god bless.

I play baseball, soccer, skeeball, curling, and kickball competitively. I celebrate Flag Day ... everyday.

I take the controversial opinion that Dave is the more talented Franco brother. In time, when someone says "Franco!" the normal reaction will be "oh yeah, Dave Franco".
What I’m doing with my life
I bought a guitar and am self-teaching. In other words, I don't know how to play the guitar.

I love to socialize with groups of people of all shapes and sizes: hippies, suites, rednecks, nerds, jocks ... I embrace all of them.

In my spare time you'll find me in Dupont Circle soaking in the culture. I'll be at the local watering hole meeting and greeting new people (and breaking up occasional scuffle).

I think pumpkin carving should be a year round activity.
I’m really good at
Borrowing things from friends and making them forget I have them.

Discovering new shows years after it's been off the air but still wanting to talk about it with other people and having them look at me like I'm a dumbass. "Yeah, that Prison Break episode was great five years ago loser"

Tying bow ties
Rowing and going on trips
Memorizing Flo Rida & Rihanna lyrics
Competitive banter
Curling (yes, THAT olympic sport)
Staring contests (I don't lose, ever. Please don't try to compete)
The first things people usually notice about me
My uncanny Morgan Freeman impression. Ask me about my ol' friend Andy Dufresne.

Short hair don't care.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: 11/22/63, "Baby Steps" by Dr. Leo Marvin, Wastelands, Blink, World War Z, A Voyage Long & Strange, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

Movies: Ghost Dad. I just watch that every night. Or Harry and the Hendersons, Shutter Island, Belly, the Beastmaster, Adventures I Babysitting. I'm also a huge Downton Abbey guy.

Music: Michael Bolton, Run the Jewels, St. Vincent, Kings of Leon, Radiohead, Band of Horses, to Flo Rida, Rihanna, and the Black Eyed Peas. Tool, A Perfect Circle, Joe Satriani, Atmosphere, Sigur Ros, Death Cab.

Food: Cheese curds and Popsicles, that's really it.
Six things I could never do without
1. Balloons
2. My friends, because I love them and because I like to borrow money from them.
3. My tunes. I need tunes for the long walks to work, for the gym, and for boring meetings at work
4. Michael Bolton
5. Population. I love the big city, the crowded streets and bars. I wouldn't last 2 minutes in Butte, Montana. (I apologize if you're actually from Butte, Montana, I'm sure it's a very pretty town, just not my type of living)
6. Skinny Ties with a double windsor knot. I wear them to bed, it's a weird thing I do.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
If you have a dream about a turkey sandwich, does that go into your dream journal or food journal?

What the difference is between making a citizens arrest and kidnapping.

When I look into Wayne's basement, only that isn't Wayne's basement. So weird.

Studying abroad. A buddy of mine spent two years in Mongolia, and it sounds awesome. I want to live abroad for a while and travel the globe.
On a typical Friday night I am
Doing karate in the garage
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I brought my nephew to Chuck E. Cheese once and got kicked out for jumping in the ball pit. I was 24. That's pretty embarrassing.

I still get teary-eyed during the scene in Home Alone when Kevin is in the church and the creepy old guy comes up to him but we learn that he's not really a creepy old guy but a very nice old guy.
You should message me if
You enjoy doing the "mm mm mm mm" thing from the Crash Test Dummies song.
The two of us