As you marble at the world, don't take it for granite. :)
Don't just take my word for how easy I am to talk with, talk to me yourself & see why others seem to think so too!
NOTE: I have been told by SEVERAL that this profile is an extremely humorous, worthwhile, and fast read in spite of its length (or "novella", as pointed out by a reader). Many have even read it multiple times. It is just that - fun and well written! Like me, it contains a lot of character - both types: personality and grammatical! Enjoy!
BTW... If you can't be a mature adult & can't handle a mature relationship, don't talk to me, don't wink at me, don't message me, & please don't IM me while you're taking matters into your own hands. Eeeewwwww! That's not a compliment. That's just gross! I'm not going there!
For all the lewd & crude offers, I should have been charging. I'd have been filthy rich - in just under 2 months of being here!
I am a night owl and am often misunderstood by the crude crowd that's on here in the middle of the night. Chances are at 3am I am bouncing off the walls awake and looking for something to do or someone to talk to but most definitely not looking for sex or a late night hookup.
WARNING: any institutions using this site or any of its associated sites for studies or research you do NOT have my permission to use my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have or do it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications. It is recommended that other members post a similar notice to this.
I've decided to officially go on a quest to find my Mr. Right-For-Me. There seems to be no shortage of Mr. Close-E-Nuf's & Mr. Right's (for somebody else) but I'm not "settling". I'm looking specifically for my Mr. Right-For-Me. This makes it sound like I'm too finicky or throwing away perfect opportunities. I can assure you it's nothing like that. I know a lot of guys that are wonderful friends but their lifestyle & mine are different. I don't want to marry them because we are both available & looking to get married. I want to be with the right person for all of the right reasons.
My background of 30 years is accounting, taxes, small business consulting, & teaching accounting & QuickBooks & Peachtree at the college level.
In addition to accounting & taxes, I'm an event coordinator for metaphysical/spirtual & holistic expos. Yes, as in "psychic". I get to network, socialize, & have fun on the weekends at expos all over the midwestern USA (most weekends - unless I'm hosting one) & call it work. And then I come back to the office & try to keep up with the rest of what I need to do.
And... I do energy healings & readings: mediumship, psychic, with & without cards, pendulum, glitter ball, psychometry, finder of lost things (yes - including the tv remote & your keys - but don't ask me what happens to your socks when they disappear in the dryer as I rarely get this one correct), & answers to internal questions (those you want the answers to but really don't want to ask out loud).
Interesting note: I was doing laundry the other day and a sock from a few years ago showed up in the dryer. Don't ask me how or from where cuz I have no clue! :-O
Wm of RoV "..wanna hook up.." or...
Hopeful A of MI "a kiss and a bj" or...
"Lets be honest it is after 5 in the morning I am looking to get laid...How about you?"
Thank you John in UT for the lovely offer but I'd rather not. You did say something about honesty, so... why don't you ask your wife? After all, I am assuming that is her nightie hanging on the back of the door next to you and not yours.
Outside of this site...
I'm excellent at conversing, being a sounding board, and particularly, being non judgemental. I am that perfect "go to" person when you need someone to listen, be that voice of reason, or help you to sort out whatever issues you are dealing with. I cut through the BS & drama of the issue to eloquently and succinctly point out whatever the core of the problem is - whether it be you, the other person, or just a simple misunderstanding between the "you said, they said".
I'm a rather awesome cook - even on healthier cooking. But please don't expect me to clean house or do dishes. If being on my own the past 20 years has taught me anything about me, it's that I am horrible at both. Hope you don't mind paper plates & plastic silverware! (Solution? I cook, you clean?!?!?)
And making/molding/sculpting things in 3D out of chocolate!
I give freely and have an ultra big heart; whether it be through work, volunteering, metaphysical work, or life. I am open to what life has to offer & am trying very hard to welcome the walk (or tightrope from time to time) of being both spirit & human.
I have a vice grip handshake which transfers well into my ability to give massages, which I truly enjoy doing & have considered doing it for a living.
Although pretty mild mannered about 100% of the time, when it comes to air hockey, I seem to acquire a rather mean competitive streak. Not sure where that comes from or why but it does & I'm pretty good. Not sensational (at air hockey, that is) but definitely pretty dang good. Wanna play (air hockey)?
A sample of my quick wit...
True story: I was at a work event the other night. One of the men did not clearly hear the other man speaking & was asking "where is what?". Before the second man could answer, I jumped in and said, "What is on 2nd."
A man had asked if I was married. I said, "No. Why? Are you interested in marrying me?"
Outside of this site...
eyes, great laugh, both funny and punny, spunky, awesome personality, depth & knowledge, ability to enuciate & articulate clearly on all levels & on all subjects, my voice & my laugh, extremely intellectual yet super down-to-earth in spite of my hyperness (good hyper), & VERY easy to talk to because I make people feel so extremely relaxed and at home around me (sometimes too much). And... I talk incessantly with my hands. Hang onto your stuff as things will probably go flying. I was recently at a client's teaching her Quickbooks. When it was time for her to do it on her own, while I sat and watched over her shoulder, I had to sit on my hands in order to be quiet. I did say I am Italian!
I've been hanging out with my cats. I have 4 but I'm not a crazy cat lady because none of my cats are crazy. They are all very sane. Just ask them! They'll tell you! ;-)
Note: scanning will come to a screeching halt long enough to listen to Savage Garden, some Garth Brooks and some Sam Smith!
I do like to play card games such as euchre and pinochle as well as board games. I was recently introduced to Dominion and some RPG's. Those were quite a bit of fun! However, my verdict is still out on the game Cards Against Humanity.
I've read a few of the new-age books, etc but at this point, they're too much like work to me because of what I already do for a living.
I prefer romance novels (especially those around 1400's-1600's) by, but not limited to, Johanna Lindsay, Jude Deveraux, & Jackie Collins (yeah... I know Jackie only writes in modern day).
Provided you can actually get me to sit still long enough... I dated a guy (twice) who asked me if it was possible for me to actually sit & watch a movie all the way through without getting up 50x. (I did say I was hyper, right?) I enjoy romantic comedies most of all but it is not completely unheard of for me to watch most any other types - except blood & guts & gore & fighting. I can't stand to watch any psychic movies or tv shows as they're too much like what I already live day to day. On the list of preferred movies: Fried Green Tomatoes, City Slickers I & II, Groundhog Day, Harry Met Sally, Harold & Maude, most Steve Martin movies (especially Leap Of Faith), Alladin, Ice Age, American Pie, & Shrek.
Preferred Foods: robust COFFEE, bold COFFEE, full of flavor COFFEE, good COFFEE, life's too short for bad coffee, tea (all sorts though not much of a fan of green tea except with jasmine), Thai, Mexican, & Chinese, excellent butter cream frosting, fruits, high-quality high-end cheeses (white).
I do like fun guys but detest fungi, though Fungai (Bernardino, that is - Google if you'd like) is ok.
The ingrediants might be plain but must never lack flavor! Variety of seasonings & spices & herbs are the secret of livening up a dish! :)
I'm not heavily into any "special label" diet.
My diet: generally I don't eat anything heavily processed, fried, battered, breads, or margarine... generally... as I'm not giving up my bumpy cake or my homemade banana nut bread! Not without a fight! Also, I don't like lemon, mushrooms, fish, and especially not garlic... yet I'm Italian. My family is quite perplexed by this anomoly and has pondered if perhaps I may have been switched at birth.
And... ask anyone that knows me. They'll tell you this is really me, from my core, & expressed through everything I do.
This is my wish for everyone to have & experience & know...
Love is patient, Love is kind,
Love is not jealous or boastful,
It is not arrogant or rude,
Love does not insist on it's own way,
Love is not irritable or resentful,
It does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right,
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
~ 1 Corinthians 13:4
Aside from this quote, you will almost never hear me quote anything from the bible.
Other than love, I would have to say that some of the other things I cannot do without are friendship and intimacy in all of their forms whether those close bonds are shared with a stranger or with someone I have known for a very long time. Note: This does NOT mean sex with a stranger!
Does anyone give any thought to what their profile pictures say about them?
ie: does it look like you are standing next to a jail cell, wearing an orange or black and white striped shirt, are you standing next to a long pointy tower or...
Carpe diem... is the fish of the day really carp?
Why specifically carp and not any other fish?
What's wrong with catfish or tuna? Not that I would eat either one, nor the carp.
Starting a sapiosexual dating virtual site where the hottest members are all in your mind (& theirs). (c)
How OKC can say that I am less mathematical when I have been in accounting for 30 years?
Why is it that when we are conversing here on OKC, guys ask, "can we chat?" Is that not what we are doing?
Why does the glass have to be half empty or half full? Why can't it just be enjoyed and appreciated for what is in it?
Conceptualizing the difference between love and lust and the chemistry for each. Recognizing on a date if there is chemistry in lust or chemistry in love between us as I am only interested in obtaining the latter while only entertaining the idea of the first. So many say that they are looking for chemistry but generally they mean in reference to lust. Chemistry in love is different but for those who do not know how to differentiate the two, it could easily be confused as one and the same.
on this site...
Why state that you want someone drama free or non clingy? Shouldn't this go without saying? Most likely those that have drama or are clingy have no clue that they do or are.
How filthy rich I'd be if I were to charge for all the crude offers I receive on here.
Damn! I had no idea I was THAT sexy! WOW! Bring me a fireman please. I am on fire! Yeow! That's hot!
Why does OKC give the option of single or available. Can't one be both? I am single AND I am available, thus why I am on this site.
How "white" became an "ethnicity".
Why do guys answer "no" to both smoking and drugs yet say in their profile they are 420 friendly? Since when is 420 not a drug AND a smoke? If one is 420 friendly, it seems they should be answering "yes" to both. In any case, I'm not and have no interest in having you contact me if you are.
Since,when,did,it,become,acceptable,to,separate,your,words,with,a,comma,instead,of,a,space? How did ,I ,miss ,this ,in ,grammar class?!?
Why do guys on this site want a phone number immediately? Why do they acquire an attitude when I won't give it to them (my phone number, as we have not yet met for them to ask, beg, or request anything else, not that they would)? I won't do that again & it is based on past experiences, yes plural - as in more than one, from THIS site. If we can't come up with any good conversation while messaging back and forth on here what are we going to do while we're sitting in a coffee shop?!?
Why do people find it appealing to use the "oh poor pity me" in their profile? In spite of how daunting my profile may appear, I am not that difficult to approach or talk to. Not everyone who views my profile contacts me but I don't I feel a need to take it personally or complain as some do. Instead of feeling neglected and whine about it, I consider it a blessing, especially since there are some horny individuals that do contact me and I really wish they would not.
Outside of this site...
What constitutes a great kisser? When one says he's a good kisser, how does he know? Did he kiss himself to find out? Isn't kissing yourself like one hand clapping? You never really get the whole effect that way to know. I think their opinion of them being a good kisser is a rather bit biased.
The meaning of life? Why am I here? No. Really. Why am I on this dating site instead of already being with my Mr Right-For-Me?
Why guys on this site often find it more important to list their income rather than what they do for a living? What you do and whether or not you enjoy it says much more about you, your personality, and how we might be more likely to connect than how much you get paid to do it. I would much rather get to know YOU, rather than your wallet.
Why, on this website, in the "likes children" section, it gives the option of "liking kids", "not liking them", & "not wanting them" but doesn't give the option of "wants them"? It is possible to not like them & want them anyway or to like them & want (or not want) them?
Note: I guess even OKC reads profiles, for they finally took my suggestion and changed that. Yeah!! And, yes, I did update that part of my profile to "likes and wants kids". FYI... not necessarily biologically mine and not a deal breaker if there aren't any.
And then there are all the usual conundroms like this one and a zillion others to ponder:
-Why do we ask for a check at a restaurant? We cannot cash it.
- When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible; excluding those stars that dazzle the red carpet of course.
-Trying desperately to get off the site!!! I'm not sure that worked well for me the other night because I'm still here. :-(
- Working on getting off the site because I will have met my Mr Right-For-Me. :)
-Having a truly enjoyable time, deep conversation, and wonderful coffee with you!
-Or just hanging out with the cats and drinking coffee at home.
Now don't get me wrong. I don't spend all of my Friday nights with the cats. And a first date is most definitely not going to get us to the chapel... on that date. It will, however, give us both something to do and hopefully enjoy ourselves. If all goes well then perhaps we will have a second date. If after a few more ensue and we end up in a relationship, after some indeterminable amount of time with some fascinating time spent between us, not just during sex, then!!! we can consider the chapel idea.
I'm tired of all of the BS and wish I would have recognized my sex appeal when I was younger & actually was hot!
Then again, don't we all. lol
Outside of this site...
Unlike the Algerian newlyweds, at least you won't have to sue me for not knowing what I look like without makeup.
Looking like a Wookie or Cousin It! (see pic)
There was "this one time. at band camp. we.. "
For those of you requesting someone who is not into drama, don't worry! Had I wanted drama, I would have become an actress.
For those requesting someone who is height/weight proportionate, I am... for an Italian.
Sapiosexuals and MENSA members are strongly encouraged and urged to apply. All others can.
Other than those, it depends on your purpose...
- If you're looking for a hookup, please don't bother wasting my time (or yours). GO ELSEWHERE!
- MoneyMan, NO! I will NOT!!! And I can't even believe you asked me that!
- If you (Mike of MI) would like to know my bra size and jean size instead of my personality, TAKE A HIKE!
- You can relate to and understand a female who is a sapiosexual.
- You are sincere about life, can relate to a highly metaphysical/spiritual way of living - does not mean religious-y & want to discuss such - or - just have general questions & curiosities about the world of metaphysics but don't know who to ask & this seems like a good way to do so while keeping your anonymity or not while keeping your anonymity. It's your choice if you want to tell me who you are.
- You have an awesome wit, sense of humor, sarcastic & would like to talk with someone who shares the same sense of humor for some playful & witty banter.
- Want to talk with someone who is sincere, compassionate, fun, enjoys life & welcomes all of its trials & tribulations.
- Need a shoulder, an ear, or a friend... butt not a clit, warm body, or a hook up buddy.
- Not sure but just felt compelled to write, even if you're not sure what it is you want to say. After a few ramblings back & forth between us, the universe will present the reason.
- You've figured out that I am CLEARLY not like the others (& want to be with someone who is not "one of them").
- You think you might be my Mr. Right-For-Me, or not, but think we'd make great friends while we see what develops as we get to know each other or while we each continue to look elsewhere.
- I won't bite (much, & bark is worse) so it should be safe to write & I do make it a point to reply back. No matter what OKC says... unless you are 20 something or looking for a hookup. In that case, I might not.
- The only disgruntled visitors have only ever been because I wasn't willing to accept their offer of a "hookup" or "booty call" or, like LetsHolla‘s offer to... "experience someone much younger".
- Since my metaphysical beliefs don't mix with everyone, I tend to be rather respectful towards others & their beliefs and coming across as quite shy. Therefore I will generally not start a conversation, even after reading your profile. If I have visited, & you feel compelled... PLEASE feel free to start the conversation.
Thanks for stopping in & have a wonderful & awesome day!! :)