You must be able to tolerate Jackasses, smart asses, jokers and glib, roguish bastards... I'm none of those, but you should be able to tolerate them.
My primary defense mechanisms are humor and logic, and what has been termed "Weird, goofy, sarcasm mixed with cold biting truth." I don't know what that means but, as improbable as this sounds, I get that a lot.
I feel things very deeply (despite my cold exterior) and am very passionate about the things that I believe in, but not so passionate as to make me inconsiderate of others.
People say I'm the most "... spiritual atheist." they've ever met. I 1) didn't know there were a lot of spiritual atheists creeping around 2) what does that mean? "Spiritual" is such a weasel-word. and 3) Nice is good, lets just stick with nice.
...Oh, and I'm saving the world. (and not for "a rainy day" - you were thinking it.)
Oil painting, drawing, cooking and helping my friends and family through tough, or not so tough, times.
Puns. I'm a punning linguist.
Calming people. (These are not the droids you're looking for)
Clubbing. (Seals not bars)
Creating awkward and or cringe moments.
Empathy and insight.
Rolls down hill.
Ummm, maybe it's my hulking, manly physique?
My maniacal laughter and penchant for wicker furniture.
Did I say sarcasm?
How much of their personal life they divulge to me when we first meet. This is usually followed by, "You should really be a therapist, you're a great listener." I guess it's in the blood (both parents are shrinks) and in the training.
My intensity (now with 15% less insanity, but still the same great taste you know and love)
But I'll be your BFF if you turn me on to new material to feed my insatiable need for escapist, mental masturbation.
Or you could just turn me on. Your call.
2) White leather belt and matching wing-tips. (the "ladies" dig them)
3) My El Comino & eight-track tape deck. (the "gents" respect the ride)
4) My aviator sun glasses. (because cool happens, even on the cloudiest of days)
5) "A Theory of Justice." (because nothing says "wanna' come back to my place?" like a discussion on "Original Position" vs. "Utilitarianism.")
6) Spell Check.
7) Did I say sarcasm?
8) The ability to break arbitrary rules like, oh I dunno' limiting my choices to just six things that I couldn't live without.
How it is that we're willing to kill and die for them... it all seems very odd and greatly senseless, but then I'm kind of an existentialist... really I'm just here for the sex, and verbal sparring. ;-)
2) If you know anything about neuroplasticity, Marxian conflict theory (sociological perspective), or anything about Alfred Bandura, Abraham Maslow and C. W. Mills please let me know, because I've forgotten all about them. ;-)
3) God! Is my hairline receding?!
4) What does "Enemy" mean on OKcupid?
5) Oh yeah, sex too. I do think about that a lot.
Ideologues piss me off i.e., strong positions tend towards inflexability and weak reasoning. also see: Zealot.
In other words, if you can't admit when you're wrong and aren't open to the possibility that others may be "right," then there is no debate, nor a respect of truth.
(Please note "lowercase" truth as opposed to "uppercase" Truth. People who believe in the uppercase variety scare the bejeesus out of me with their little, nubby fingers, and their sycophantic, slavish, and often times dehumanizing zeal)
Veritas Sine Timore, bitches!
Holy Blue Jesus in a side car! Is that a rant from Hell or what? ;-)
2) You think that it's alright to kiss a nun, just as long as you don't get into the habit.
3) You want to have a little fun, both physically and mentally, but aren't interested in anything beyond "friends with benefits" (God, that's so very cliche) then I'm your man.
4) You have an affinity for dairy products, beer and BBQ or just because you think I'm too glib for my own good, then write, I won't bite, it's easy, I'm not a grammar Nazi, you know you wanna'! C'mon, talking is fun, and friends improve overall health and well-being... unless they're toxic, psychic vampires, hungrily lusting for new giving people to feed off of... Okay, if you're a psychic vampire then please don't contact me.
4a) Did I mention Sarcasm?
Evil Sub-Genius out.