To the girl from OK Cupid who took me to a stand-up gig, sat us at the front and then screamed abuse at the comic, who then gave me loads of stick back: never contact me again. Honestly, you were almost as bat-shit crazy as the women who dribbled over herself after downing a pint of Staropramen at the cocktail bar, or the one who mentioned "my ticking biological clock" on the first date. That's all.
I'm originally from the simple town of Southampton, famous for the Titanic, which sank, and Craig David - who also sank. I've lived in York and Leeds before making the move down to the Big Smoke.
Your photos page looks like a Thomas Cook brochure
You step on to a tube carriage and suddenly stop. Move down the aisles, you're blocking my way!
Your profile features the terms, "partner in crime", "chemistry" or "this is my last chance before I pull the trigger"