39Englewood, United States
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My self-summary
I really hate these things. Don't you?

I mean, I like talking about myself and cracking wit; however, it feels tiresome to come up with some tidy jingle that screams me.

I have a B.A. in English/Film and I love to write. But when it comes time to craft the online me, I feel the strong urge to draw outside the lines.

I'd rather just write like I talk.

And if you and I should happen to talk for real, I'm happy to do all the top tens you can think of. Maybe a cartwheel.

I also have a long long list of hobbies, experiences, desires, and the like. Have a free sample; one of each.

I play the bass guitar, I've lived in Italy, and I'd love to one day own a house where I could fall asleep to the sound of the waves crashing every night.

I've lived on both coasts most of my life, so I start to lose it a little bit here in the land of the landlocked.

Anyways, I need to go on a little (which sounds Seinfeld-y) tangent for a moment.

I don't really understand the personality breakdown it comes up with. The program seems to make a decision fast and stick with it, no matter if it makes sense. For one, apparently, the computer decided I was the King of Cool. Nonsense. I'm just an Earl of Cool.

But really, WTF is cool anyways? I certainly don't follow all the latest fashions and trends. Further, what's cool to me, could be the lamest shit to you.

I thought cool was subjective, but hey, we can rejoice; OKCupid has cracked the formula for "What is cool?". I guess I should celebrate. At long last, I finally have all the cool points.


Secondly, the Cupid matrix has also decided I am some sort of kinky sex lord. I mean I know what to do in the dark and I'm good with my hands but this is too much.

I've barely filled out 20 questions so far and done 3 tests. I haven't even entered this ridiculous late night diatribe into the system. So all that remains to tip the personality scales is my screen name. Is that it?

Maybe I need to change it. Maybe I should have thought that one through better. Those damn things are annoying to come up with on the spot though. I meant the name to convey my passion for life. Looks like it just makes me sound horny.

Moving on, lets look at what it says I'm not. O.K. O.K., I can admit I might be below the median when it comes to pureness, but come on. I guess pureness is the kryptonite to cool, according to the whirling mad mathematics of the machine. But I really must protest to being seated on the pureness short bus.

And, when it comes to compassion, they got it all wrong. I'm a marshmallow, (side note: Just turned 38 and up until 1 minute ago I thought it was spelled marshmellow. My whole life spelling it wrong. [additional side note: I love tangents]) a total softie.

I'm a ridiculously easy touch when it comes to emotions. I tell my best friends I love them, and they know I've always got their back. (serious side note: I am fiercely loyal to those closest to me and I expect the same) I cry at the movies all the dang time. I'm taking care of an injured squirrel, teaching him how to walk without his back paw. I've never stepped on an ant, not even one. I kid.

So, I hope you've got a sense for my sense of humor now. It's important that this made you laugh. I like to laugh. It's the best fucking medicine I know, that is, besides incredibly good sex of course. Again, I kid I kid....

Take care and as Bob Barker used to say, "Have your pets spayed and neutered".

Seriously, it's important.
What I’m doing with my life
living it, loving it.
I’m really good at
Filling out boxes about things I'm really good at
White water canoeing
Games and puzzles like poker and scrabble
Remembering asinine details from obscure pop culture
Gazing at the stars
Telling stories
Drinking brown Liqour
Cooking homemade Italian
Getting into adventures
Making people laugh
Smelling bullshit
The first things people usually notice about me
How wonderful I smell. My eyes. My tattoos.
Also, like the rug from the Big Lebowski, I really tie the room together.
Six things I could never do without
Water: More specifically the ocean. Lakes, rivers, and other bodies of water are good too. I grew up near the ocean and no matter what it always makes me feel at peace.

Night: I love the nighttime. Work is over and the possibilities are endless. I'm a night owl for sure. I like stargazing and talks/adventures/camping with friends; unforgettable nights that burn the midnight oil all the way down.

Drinks with ice in them: I love beverages, cold even better; with ice the best. But the best part of, (besides the alcohol) let's say a Jack n Coke; is the perfect little sound of melting ice cubes tickling the rim of the glass. If there's a heaven, they definitely have nice short glass tumblers and plenty of ice. In fact, I would expect to be handed my Bev o' choice at the gates. God knows what I like.

Work in progress here.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How I would survive the zombie apocalypse. One of my friends has a remote farm in West Virginia, and I'm an excellent marksman. Or at least I was when I was a little kid at summer camp.
On a typical Friday night I am
Doing something fun with my friends. Maybe a flick or a home poker game. I like going out, but I'm more into a chilled out environment where I don't have to yell. I like seeing live music on occasion. Staying in and cooking up something good and marathoning a good netflix show works for me too.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I fantasize about winning the lottery, buying a lovely yacht and traveling the world for the rest of my life. Living on the water, going port to port, and experiencing the world. Sounds like my little slice of heaven.

BTW, when I travel, I emphasize the word experience. Leave Fodor's and Lonely Planet at home (except when it comes to restaurant advice. Oh, did I mention anywhere I love trying new food....well I fucking do) because when I am in a foreign place, I am more interested in experiencing the culture and meeting the people that live there than making a giant list of things that I must sightsee. I can tour that shit at home, but living in a different part of the world and experiencing another way to live can never be replicated.
You should message me if
You like what you are reading/seeing and are curious to know more. I joke, but I'm on here for the same reasons you are. To find someone new and just maybe that one in a million. Regardless, thanks for visiting and good hunting.
The two of us