24South Shields, United Kingdom
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My self-summary
Hi, my name is Michael and I'm tall, thin and not very hairy. I have small hands and small feet for my height so don't make fun of them :).

I would say my humour is largely based on innuendo, sarcasm and "intelligence". I'm very good at meaningless lists and monologues but really enjoy 2 way conversations during which we can not only laugh at ourselves but can educate each other.

I'm not as introverted as my profile would have you believe, I just like to give people enough information to make an informed decision/initiate a conversation.
What I’m doing with my life
Was recently made "redundant" (really) after 3 months in a call centre............which surprisingly I loved. Unemployment gives me a lot of free time to delude myself that I will actually complete a job application. But on a serious note I did go to University so I'm not a permanent dole dosser!
I’m really good at
I wouldn't say that I'm excellent at anything but I make a delicious steak pie. I'm quite good at unintentionally integrating Family Guy quotes into conversations and am proficient in all matters DIY. Another skill of mine which is unlikely to be of any benefit unless I enter pub quizzes with large enough prizes to deem it a profession is my ability to make rather long lists of all things useless such as actors, dates, composers e.t.c!! I have recently become accustomed to the delusion of convincing yourself that you are going to start the gym and eat healthily!!
The first things people usually notice about me
The length of my legs and relative stride length. Confidence and ability to communicate with strangers.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I'm not really one for books. However, I am getting better, and although I will never be able to emulate Disraeli, I am currently reading "The Great Gatsby". From the limited number I have read, my favourites must be Animal Farm, The Killer Inside Me (Jim Thompson) and Digital Fortress.

Although I don't aspire to be a communist/socialist, I am drawn to literature on such matters and have read the Communist Manifesto, "Wages, Prices and Profits", On Soviet Socialist Democracy and Christianity and Communism.

If I didn't have an interest in buildings I wouldn't be a very good Building Surveyor, thus I have read Vitruvius and the books of Salvadori.

Prefer most of the 70's and 80's shows including The Professionals, Minder (preferred Dennis Waterman), Yes Minister (my favourite but not keen on Yes Prime Minister) Are You being Served, George and Mildred, Some Mothers do ave em, Open All Hours, Dads Army, Fawlty Towers, Bread, As Time Goes By, On The Buses e.t.c. If you are a fan of those shows, you'll be able to name a few more. Heartbeat (Fillip Franks and Jason Durr), Family Guy, American Dad, The Chase, Blockbusters (Bob Holness, not Simon Mayo), Bullseye (Jim Bowen, is Dave Spikey really a comedian?), Mrs Browns Boys, Sherlock Holmes, (Jeremy Brett) The Simpsons, The Apprentice, Suits, Top Gear, Antiques Road Trip, Antiques Road Show, Bargain Hunt, Dickinsons Real Deal, River Monsters, Casualty, Masterchef, Waterloo Road, Leverage, NCIS, The Bill, Grand Designs, all the other property shows and Vicious.

Movies include the Terminator series, all of the Saw Films, Misery, Die Hard Quadrilogy, Back to the Future trilogy, Bullit, Collateral, Speed, The Island, Brassed Off, Big Mommas House, Face Off, National Treasure, Under Siege, The Great Escape, Von Ryan's Express, The Wooden Horse, Children of Men, Poltergeist, Mrs Doubtfire, James Bond (Roger Moore in particular), Universal Soldier, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Predator, Commando, Beethoven, The Ring. Bonus points if you like the "Carry on" films but Carry On Cabby and Carry On Doctor must be my favourites. Put simply; action, comedy and horrors with occasional family movie and "soppiness" such as Journey of the Heart.

My taste in music is rather limited to about 14 or 15 artists but like a lot of singles by many artists. Preferably Indie including Franz Ferdinand, Muse, The Hoosiers (oh dear), Maximo Park and The Kaiser Chiefs. My taste also extends all the way back to the 50's and enjoy Frank Sinatra and Elvis. My love of Queen knows no bounds. Also quite enjoy Rod Stewart and Shirley Bassey. Excluding choral pieces, I enjoy quite a lot of classical music-top five favourite pieces; Music for the Royal Fireworks, William Tell, Hall of the Mountain King, Beethoven's 9th symphony and Dance of the Knights/Romeo and Juliet (The Apprentice).

My love of food knows no bounds-anything excluding pasta, chips, peas, beans and sweetcorn will do fine.
Six things I could never do without
Who doesn't like tea?

Please be prepared to suffer the consequences if you touch my Crunchy Nut!

Friends and Family.

My bike

My cat (Clouseau)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What I would do as Prime Minister. Which idiot thought that valance sheets were a good idea.
On a typical Friday night I am
Nothing much at the minute-waiting for someone to take me out on a Friday night! :)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
(Whisper) Anything...........................
You should message me if
Firstly; well done for reading my incredibly long and boring essays (story of my life). Please notify me if you have noticed a grammatical and/or spelling error(s).

If you like what you've read and want to know more.

You have an interest in Politics, modern European History (1850-present) and/or have an interest in acquiring useless information such as all of the winners of every snooker World Championship or the dates and actors of all the James Bond films.

I know its a cliché (on here anyway) but message me if you want to or would simply like a conversation. I would be grateful if you said more than one (or a sentence of a limited nature) word in your message. However, if my profile is really that crap I would appreciate the feedback.
The two of us