MNBaseballGuy
35 Minneapolis, United States
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MNBaseballGuy
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My self-summary
Singing "You've Lost that Loving Feeling" only works in the movies, and then only if you're a fictional fighter pilot. Neither of those apply here but please keep reading.

I am Michael (or Mike). If you have a common name like me, then you know how I felt during grade school when I was always referred to as Mike M.

Over the past few years I have completed four marathons, traveled to Oslo and Prague, went tubing down Minnehaha Creek (it's more dangerous than you'd think), and explored the city in search of the perfect mac and cheese. I think that list sums me up rather well. I enjoy exploring the city and trying new restaurants. I will always love mac and cheese. Travel is something I need to do more of. I thrive on doing things outside of the norm. Sure drinks and conversation would be a fun date. But an art crawl could be fun as well. I am an avid runner. I enjoy pushing myself and trying to achieve new personal records. I also enjoy running because it gives me time to get caught up on my podcasts. Some of my favorites are Serial, TED Radio Hour, and This American Life. I am open to suggestions.

I enjoy making people laugh and having intelligent conversations. I like to try out new breweries with friends. My family is very important to me. I do spend a considerable amount of time trying to show my nieces and nephews how cool of an uncle I still am.

I am looking for someone who knows what they want and are willing to go get it. Doing you enjoy being active, having late night random conversations, and exploring the city? If so, we should talk more. Hope to hear from you soon.
What I’m doing with my life
9-5 I am working as an engineer. Outside of that I am camping, visiting friends, attending book club, traveling, trying new recipes, running, woodworking, and watching reruns of The Office on Netflix.
I’m really good at
Battletoads. How many people can say they have beaten that speeder level?
The first things people usually notice about me
Probably my sense of humor or my ability to kill awkward silences. Okay fine, lets go with my graying hair. There I said it. Thank you Dad
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
As for books, I recently read The Devil in the Grove and it was amazing. I like Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and The Alchemist.

When it comes to movies, there's not a Liam Neeson. I know I am just hoping for another Taken or Schindler's List. I also enjoy Star Wars, Tommy Boy, and Mission Impossible.

I listen to a lot of Current. I know that is not everybody's cup of tea. I enjoy live shows. It almost doesn't matter who it is to me. I would love to see Kishi Bashi sometime. Who is that you ask? Well don't Google it. Just ask me!
The six things I could never do without
My Family
Craft Beer
Old School Nintendo Games
My Running Shoes
Travel Destinations
Books
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Who is actually going to read all of this. Or whether the Twins will ever be good again.
On a typical Friday night I am
I'd say it's 50/50 whether I am at home recovering from the week or out exploring the city.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I once punched a girl when trying to ask her out. I never had a bad date. Some were lackluster. But most went well. I planned to ask a girl on a date, but I committed the biggest faux pas conceivable and consequently aborted mission. I still cringe when I think about this.

I liked a girl who worked at a fried chicken restaurant. I popped in with plans of asking her out. With some subtle maneuvering and a bit of conniving, I got her sitting at my table. We talked. The conversation flowed like a Mozart concerto. She had a sparkle in her eye. I had this girl stuck in my tractor beam. The poor thing had no chance of escape.

It was time for me to leave so she could finish the end of her
shift. She stood up. I stood up. I followed her down the aisle.
Then, a bizarre cataclysmic anomaly of physics manifested and
arrested fate. I still don't understand this phenomenon. I doubt Carl Sagan could explain it. Anyway, I punched the girl. Hard. Imagine something on the order of a prime Mike Tyson after his opponent mocked his speech impediment. Now multiply that punch by the speed of light. That's how hard I decked this poor girl.

Here's how it happened. Like I wrote, I was following her. She
stopped to get my food tray. I raised my hand to execute a patented shoulder embrace, a soft gesture meant to say, don't worry; I'll get it; you just keep moving your fine self along your original trajectory and let ole Mikey take care of that tray. A subtle touch here and there is the difference between “just friends” and more. One can use the touch to either set the mood, or assess conditions and plan accordingly. Then again, what do I know about romance? I punched a girl out while trying to seduce her.

Anyway, she stopped abruptly. The calculations for my
shoulder-caressing gesture, therefore, were off by several inches. Instead of my open hand meeting ever-so-delicately with her shoulder, the punching side of my hand whacked the living crap out of her scapula. It was a haymaker. The impulse force was immense. It was one of those hits were all the kinetic energy transfers from the striker to the object. Baseball players and golfers call it the “sweet spot.” I literally couldn't have hit this girl any harder if I'd tried. The whole restaurant heard the punch as it reverberated off the walls and from plates of fried chicken and rolls. The next day, the local newspaper featured a story about an anomalous reading on a seismograph outside of St. Cloud.

She was in pain for like, 10 minutes. She was rubbing her shoulder and wincing. I stood there, speechless and sniveling, at the zenith of my douchebaggery. She realized it was accidental. But that didn't make it any less painful. Do you know how hard it is to recover a romantic interlude after you punch the girl out? Let me assure you that it's almost impossible. I apologized about 56 times and bid the poor thing goodnight. I never disclosed my intent that evening to her.
You should message me if
You think we could click.
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