34Spokane, United States
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My self-summary
Don't send me just "Hi!" or "How's your night?" or some other banal dribble. We're not standing next to each other at the bus stop. If I'm not worth five minutes of effort, why are you messaging me? Yeah yeah I know, it's a numbers game and a lot of your messages get no reply. Umm... your profile and messages are the lowest common denominator in that scenario so... step up your game and you'll get more replies.

Numero Uno
I don't make this site a priority. I read new messages from my phone and then when I get around to it on a computer, I respond to them. Sometimes it's the same day; sometimes it's more than a week later. This has no bearing as to whether I'm interested or enjoying our conversation. Avoid butt-hurtedness.

Letter B
I am a single mommy of an amazing toddler. He will always come first. He's the most amazing creature to ever be on the planet. If we meet, it'll likely be during daytime hours and I'll likely have a toddler in tow.

I am only interested in polyamorous relationships. If you are already experienced in polyamory, that makes things easiest for everyone. For those of you who don't know what polyamory is, it isn't just hooking up with a bunch of people and it doesn't mean I take my relationships casually.

"Polyamory is the practice, desire, or acceptance of intimate relationships that are not exclusive with respect to other sexual or intimate relationships, with knowledge and consent of everyone involved. It has been described as "consensual, ethical, and responsible non-monogamy". People who identify as polyamorous typically reject the view that sexual and relational exclusivity are necessary for deep, committed, long-term loving relationships. Sex is not necessarily a primary focus in polyamorous relationships, which commonly consist of people seeking to build long-term relationships with more than one person on mutually agreeable grounds, with sex as only one aspect of their relationships. In practice, polyamorous relationships are highly varied and individualized according to those participating. For many, such relationships are ideally built upon values of trust, loyalty, the negotiation of boundaries, and compersion, as well as overcoming jealousy, possessiveness, and the rejection of restrictive cultural standards."

I will not be your secret girlfriend. If our relationship has to be kept secret from anyone important in your life, I'm not interested in having one with you. Do not message me if you are cheating on your partner or are in a "Don't Ask/Don't Tell" situation with your partner where one or both of you bregrudgenly allows the other to pursue outside relationships. Fix your shit.

I am open to dating couples if there is good chemistry all around, if the couple is experienced with non-monogamy, if the couple is looking for more than sex and if I wouldn't have to be a secret to anyone.

The About Me Stuff You Were Looking For Before All Those Dumb Disclaimers Got In Your Way

I encourage you to set the mood with the music style of your choice:
Thoughtful and provoking
Fun and fanciful
Flirty and ridiculous
Fucking badass
Music from a band I'll always be a little more in love with than you
Or just listen to this entire album for free and thank me later

Sometimes I miss who I used to be: I was an actor, a poet, a creator. Other days I love who I've turned out to be: a supporter, a mommy, an interested party. Occasionally I like to re-engage those creative tinglings and I'd love to foster that flame. Take me to see art, take me to hear poetry, take me dancing.

I hate "LOL". It's lazy and stupid and almost always not true. You didn't laugh. Certainly not out loud. It's just become internet shorthand for "I don't know how else to end a sentence or make it clear I'm not too intense." Be better than that.

Words are important to me. I like complete sentences, but I'm also okay with conversational shortcuts as long as you still use the correct versions of your/you're or there/their/they're. A Lot is two words.. Etc is short for Et Cetera. Get on board, yo.

Okay... summing up the personality is a bit more of a challenge. The two hemispheres of my brain are in a battle for domination worthy of Newton's Law of Motion. I am logical, straightforward and direct, honest, analytical, critical and sarcastic. Equally and oppositely I am emotional, compassionate, artistic, curious and in constant awe and wonder of the universe.

I love art and theatre and poetry as much as video games and vegging. I wish I traveled more. I like social activities as much as solitary ones and need time for both. I am an outgoing introvert, which means I have an outgoing and engaging personality, but social interactions drain my battery faster than low key environments or alone time does.

All of the various pictures of me on here show wildly different hairstyles. I change it up often, so you're hopefully flexible on hair.

I have a lot of tattoos, so if the used canvas look isn't your thing, sorry not sorry.

Some of my favorite things:
• Deep philosophical conversations for which there are no right answer(s)
• Psychology, sociology, sexuality and the things that make humans do the things that they do
• Violent weather
• Christmas
• Comfortable beds
• Writing and/or poetry that stops your heart
• Scary movies (psychological thriller types, not torture porn)
• Games of all types (board, card, video, role-playing, you name it)
• Peppermint chocolate
• Powerful lyricism and moving crescendos
• Animals and babies (yup, I'm a cliché)
• Fallout 3
• Really sweet clementines
• Sexting
• Being danced, dance me
• The ocean before the sun comes up
• The ocean every other time of day
• The word "cunt"
• Being surprised

Things That Do Not Endear Me To You
• Going out of your way to either use LOL or point out that you almost said it or would say it but don't want to annoy me. Thank you for reading that part of my profile, but being ironic on this point is... boring.
• Being so excited at the possibility you might get to use the word "cunt" in conversation because I've somehow given you permission by using it first, you just can't wait to throw it out there with no interesting or pertinent context.
• Writing me messages that are more like the chatty things you'd say to a stranger waiting at the bus ("Hello.", "What up sexy", "How are you this fine weekend?")
What I’m doing with my life
Raising and loving my son. Sometimes I find time for playing games, reading, internetting, organizing, eating, running errands, etc. But my son is never too far away from my side.

If this section of your profile says "living it!", you're boring and you suck.
I’m really good at
• making PowerPoint presentations that don't suck
• finding ways to enjoy just about anything
• planning for the zombiepocalypse
• learning/picking things up quickly
• saving random animals or lost pets
• helping others hit the re-set button on their lives
• document and form creation
• witty comebacks
• safe sexing
• beating a dead horse when trying to explain something perfectly
• forcing the truth from my loved ones in a kind and caring way
• loving people for who they are and not for who I might wish them to be
• watching movies... man am I good at watching movies.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm hilarious.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Even Cowgirls Get The Blues Tom Robbins
The Complete Works of E.E. Cummings e.e. cummings
Geek Love Katherine Dunn
Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers Mary Roach
Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex Mary Roach
Different Dances Shel Silverstein
The Invisible Gorilla and Other Ways Our Intuition Deceives Us Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons

The Princess Bride
The Labyrinth
Galaxy Quest
28 Days Later
Across The Universe
Back to the Future
The Brothers Solomon
Dirty Dancing
The Fifth Element
The Game
The Imposters
Kill Bill
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Stage Beauty
Stranger Than Fiction

Star Trek: TNG
Modern Family
The Walking Dead
Orange Is The New Black
Black Mirror
Doctor Who
The United States of Tara
Quantum Leap
The X-Files
American Horror Story

The Beatles
Joni Mitchell
Regina Spektor
Muddy Waters
Walk Off The Earth
Scott Barkan
Brenda Weiler
Glen Hansard
Jonathan Coulton
Lake Street Dive

Fallout 3
Fallout: New Vegas
Fallout 4
Little BigPlanet
Space Channel 5
Mass Effect 2
Six things I could never do without
1) Pictures of people I love
2) My cellphone (although I turn it off for vacations, I use it a lot during my regular day to day)
3) Books and/or a pen & paper
4) Chapstick
5) Music/Movement
6) My son... and also animals. Lots and lots of animals.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Everything. How things work. What people are thinking. What I want to do. Movies or books I like. What else to do to my house to make it more organized. Budgeting. Places I wish I was visiting. My family. The Zombiepocalypse. Things I find funny. Sociology. Sex. Criminal Psychology. Food. Games. My pets. Writing I wish I was doing. Hot baths. If it's at all possible to get more sleep.
On a typical Friday night I am
I am totes boring. I'm usually free for foodstuffs or entertaining things in the evening, but I have a toddler with me which limits options. I like to be home by 7pm so I can wind down with him and get him to bed. For the right event or company I can be talked into staying out/up later.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm a pretty open book and the only real secrets I have belong to other people. But in the spirit of the prompt, I'll admit that I have well managed (and medicated) depression and body pain. I don't understand how to use beauty products. I wear the same jeans several times before I wash them. I'm really bad about paying bills on time other than rent. I'm Time Magazine's "Person of the Year" 2006.

If this section of your profile says "ha ha I dunno just ask", you're boring and you suck.
You should message me if
• You think things are funny that other people don't.
• You have a zombie preparedness plan and tell me yours before you ask for mine.
• You like heated philosophical discussions.
• You actually read my ridiculously verbose profile.
• You like poetry and romance.
• You want to sweep me off my feet and bring out all of my girly sides.
• You like to fly by the seat of your pants.
• You are an over-sharer.
• You are an open book.
• You are an experienced and responsible non-monogamist.
• You are really good at planning surprises.
• You find the fun in most things.
• You are not turned off by brash and blunt conversation.
• You are PRO honesty and love all the dirty, ugly little truths way more than kind fiction.
• You are not easily offended.
• You can take a good bite.
• None of your pictures are of you shirtless.
• Your message is actually a message and not a crappy attempt at chat-pickup.
• You don't mind that my return messages to you will vary wildly in their timeliness.
The two of us