42 Chatham, United States
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My self-summary
Jersey guy who has relocated BACK in the NYC area from PA. (thank goodness! hah)....oh and my name is Mark (and I'm stickin' to it!)

So, how am I supposed to show you who I am in a few sentences? In a nutshell, if you watched and were moved by the film "Before Sunset" with Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy, you will understand how I think and the way I view the possibilities of love and true connection...

....I'm a sincere, quick-witted, and [reportedly] smart guy seeking a friendship (and hopefully more) with a man who is stimulating, kind-hearted and possesses a youthful spirit.

Having been in an 18 year relationship, I am looking to find new friends to spend some time with. Life on my own is fine; life with others is better. I'm open to all sorts of possibilities for relationships, as long as the connection is there. So, your age is less of an issue than your values and substance as a person. Just be curious--intellectually, emotionally, and about the experiences and lives of others. I am also not limiting myself to a particular gender when it comes to meeting quality people. Widen the net, not narrow it!

And if you have kids (from any type of previous relationship), I view that as a plus. I've been everyone's Uncle Mark for so long that I understand sacrifices that should and need to be made for children. I'm all in!

If you still have a pair of doc martens or high-top converse in your closet, I will be able to relate to you. And if your old vinyl copy of the Cure's "Disintegration" is in there, too, we are well on our way!

If you are the type of person who is unafraid to help an old lady reach something on a high shelf in a supermarket or to pick up a baby's rattle if it falls on the ground while you're walking by, you are MY type of person....In short, be kind, be thoughtful, be sensitive (but stable!), be humorous...but moreover, be a person who understands that while your passions matter, so do the needs, aspirations and passions of others.
What I’m doing with my life
I had worked in higher education my entire career (administrator and part-time faculty). Recently, I recruited international students from around the world to attend university in the States. I was so fortunate to be able to visit Russia, Jordan, Bahrain, UAE, Hong Kong, the Netherlands, Switzerland and Italy during that time. After spending time running a college counseling program at a boarding school in PA, I'm back in NJ, mentoring students from Newark, NJ who are pursuing their dreams to attend college. It's work for the soul....I am also involved in the leadership of my alma mater's alumni association. Giving back and philanthropy of all sorts are important to me! In short, I'm driven by a sense of social justice, feel passionate about issues of equity, and draw energy from honest discourse, even when it's not "comfortable."

I've been fortunate to work in environments where there is a value to the "life of the mind." But, I'm also a big kid at heart who laughs easily, cries willingly and cares deeply.

I have also taught Public Speaking at a university for 17 years. "Always do a job you would do even if you didn't get paid," my grandfather used to say. This is THAT job :)
I’m really good at
....reading people and what is behind the veneer. People often say I'm very easy to talk to and be open with. I will ask a lot of questions about YOU, listen intently and do my best not to forget what you say! Another thing that I seem to be good at is making people laugh to the point of a guffaw!

Oh, and I'm great at changing lightbulbs without having to stand on a ladder!
The first things people usually notice about me
is my height. 6'5"!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Too many to name---love a good comedy, a scary movie (LOVE me some Zombies!), a tearjerker or a poignant documentary. Oh, and anything with Melissa McCarthy....gotta enjoy a good laugh!!!

Big time music fan--goth, industrial, electronic, alternative, shoegaze, etc. Concerts (In the last couple of years, I have seen M83, Midge Ure, IAMX, Steven Wilson, Sigur Ros, OMD, Depeche Mode, Alison Moyet, Simple Minds, NIN, Cyndi Lauper, Skinny Puppy, Gary Numan, Blackfield, Kraftwerk, VNV Nation, Spandau Ballet, Erasure/Book of Love, London Grammar)...As for food? Anything except pickled beets, but I'll eat them if that's all you're serving:)

Books--Kite Runner, She's Come Undone, The Condition, 5 People You Meet in Heaven, Toni Morrison, David Sedaris.....I read a lot of corny books about the state of higher education.

Music---80s alternative (Depeche Mode, Cocteau Twins, New Order, OMD, Sisters of Mercy, Book of Love, Blancmange, Ultravox, Simple Minds, Siouxsie, Moev, Danse Society, Peter Murphy, the Cure, etc); Lycia, Slowdive, Clan of Xymox, Moby, VNV Nation, Austra, Bel Canto, Faith and the Muse, Goldfrapp, Hooverphonic, IAMX, Informatik, James, Dead Can Dance, Sophya, Seabound, Sigur Ros, the Verve, Washed Out, Porcupine Tree, No-Man, Antlers, Malory, M83, Radiohead, Diary of Dreams, Ladytron, Front Line Assembly, Apoptygma Berzerk, Mind in a Box, Pride and Fall, Active Child, And One, Apparat, Assemblage 23, Beach House,Boxer Rebellion, Claire Voyant, Hammock, Bethany Curve, Gus Gus, the Knife, FKA Twigs, Trust, Highspire, Chelsea Wolfe, God Is An Astronaut, In the Nursery, Purity Ring, Trust, Ulrich Schnauss, 2:54, Bloc Party, anything 4AD and Metropolis, and the list goes on and on...

Food--If you want specifics? Thai, Indian, Ethiopian, a good Steakhouse or a Jersey Diner. I'm totally not picky. Eating is about breaking bread and having conversation--so what I eat is immaterial!

Drink--nice bottle of red wine does the trick...COFFEE!

TV--Walking Dead, Top Chef, Chopped, Orange is the New Black, Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Homeland, How to Get Away With Murder, American Horror Story, Shark Tank, Scream Queens, This Is Us, Madam Secretary, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and the list goes on. TV has gotten REALLY good!!
The six things I could never do without
1. Love
2. Laughter
3. Health
4. Family
5. Friendship
6. Kalamata Olives (I had to throw SOMETHING insignificant in there!)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
my future and where I can provide the most value. And in a less lofty pursuit, I probably spend too much time pondering politics and the state of the world (Damn, CNN and MSNBC!)
On a typical Friday night I am
trying to figure out how to NOT have a "typical Friday night."
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Umm...I have over 6000 comics books!


I played the violin when I was 4? I was still playing it at 9, but hadn't improved ONE BIT!

Or more relevant---I often salt my food at a restaurant before I taste it. Impulsive, I know!

Ok ok, one more--I'm actually 47, but I figured that people might dismiss all this great youthfulness if they just see my age first---oops! :)
You should message me if
you are either young, but mature......or older, but in touch with your youth. If you believe that friendships are the choices we make so that the world feels a little less lonely, we might have a conversation starter....I'd appreciate the opportunity to meet new people, find new interests and add rich experiences to my life.

Only a few deal-breakers: I'm open to all sorts of religions and faith traditions except born-again Christianity and other forms of fundamentalism. I dealt with that for 18 years in my last relationship and it just won't work. Also, I am OK with people who like a few drinks and/or a couple of hits on some weed. But, I am not good with someone who does either or both often and heavily. And third, if you voted for Donald Trump for any reason (albeit, you don't have to have liked Hillary Clinton even though I did), I am not interested. We are too ideologically different to find common ground for dating or friendship.

(Just a sticking point--if your profile is filled with half-naked selfies or photos that consistently accentuate your body, I'm probably not a good match for you. First, what is NOT seen is what's more appealing. And if you're around my age and still thinking you're going to look 22, you haven't figured out how to age gracefully)....