MattGardens
29 San Diego, United States
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MattGardens
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My self-summary
I hope that someday we are all grayskinned hermaphrodite photosynthetic immortals but until then I'm willing to compromise

Dirtbag Left acolyte. Hatchetman for Big Macrobrew. New World Order shill. Cigarette poseur. Nonpracticing goth. Practicing standup comic.
What I’m doing with my life
Booing the local elementary school talent show
I’m really good at
not listening to Drake
The first things people usually notice about me
not Drake
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
not Drake
The six things I could never do without
Standup comedy
Cool rats who wear sunglasses
Pad of paper
The hope that some day Elon Musk will go to space and never come back
Interactive brands
The roller derby code of honor
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Juggalos and communism, sometimes juggalo communism
On a typical Friday night I am
Mike Jones
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Keanu Reeves is gay.
You should message me if
You're kind to the homeless

You have ethical commitments and don't consider ideology a matter of private idiosyncrasy

You're the right kind of snob

You like the movie Blade
More