33Baton Rouge, United States
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My self-summary
After three years in the Bay, I just quit my desk job in San Francisco and I've returned to pursue a variety of dreams and endeavors including but not limited to: writing the next great American novel, becoming a wildly successful underground comic known for his gritty social insights, and reconnecting with the place I love.

I been around. I have toured Europe on multiple occasions and have visited all 48 contiguous states. (Whilst my family was traveling through Kansas, it was so oppressively hot, flat, and boring that my father wondered aloud "Why the fuck would Dorothy want to come back to this?") This past Summer I literally drove the shittiest RV still in (barely) road-worthy operation across this country of ours three times visiting 25 states.

I'd like to think I am smart but I think it would be more fair to say that I am clever. I can move pretty quickly and for those who can't keep up, they can just as easily become my next target. I just really like making smarmy, hilarious comments about things that make people uncomfortable. It's kind of my litmus test of your confidence. If you're laughing too, you're ok.

I studied physics and philosophy in college. Those are topics very near and dear to my heart, but I also love talking about the amazing advances that we are making every day in technology. I'm blown away by the daily advances I see in science, medicine, etc. We truly are living in the future.

Cooking is something I learned from necessity in my early 20's. But after a few years I found that not only had I gotten the hang of it, but that I actually had a knack for it. Most of the dishes I prepare are Cajun classics (though I am still unsatisfied with my étouffée). The best dish in my repertoire is a port-marinated duck breast topped with a veal blackberry demi-glace with red grapes.

I love to disc golf and you can usually find me doing exactly that on the weekends.
What I’m doing with my life
I am cultivating the richest possible lifetime experience . I want to see every great city, climb every mountain, and fuck every mermaid.

Seriously though, I am performing at every comedy mic to which I can physically transport myself and starting my own Social Media Marketing Company. Mostly because I don't want a real boss. Eff that noise.
I’m really good at
Defending the honor and position of the Oxford comma. A panda bear eats, shoots and leaves.

Anything that involves my left brain. I am a raconteur extraordinaire.

Being manly and dependable. The moustache says it all. (Used to any way. I just wanted to eat soup again!)

Keeping promises. I say what I mean and I mean what I say.

Sleeping exclusively on my left side.
The first things people usually notice about me
I am loud. I am opinionated. I am funny, but not funny lookin'.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Stranger in a Strange Land
Fight Club
Arrested Development
Rage Against the Machine Oct. 27, 2007 NOLA
Six things I could never do without
1. Google and the internet. (I hate to say this because it makes me seem like an addict but I am really just addicted to learning new things.)
2. My dog Buster Brown
3. A pen and a lighter. (I include these two together because I feel they are the quintessential utility tools for any boy who would dare call himself a man.)
4. A good book. (I am literally ALWAYS reading something. Ask me about it.)
5. Music. ( I am always listening to something new. Right now I am on this Ratatat kick.)
6. Comedy. Performance is the only thing that makes me feel alive.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Funny stuff. Stuff I think is funny. These do not always dove tail.
On a typical Friday night I am
Drinking whiskey, telling a long, complex yet hilarious story, launching off on a tangent, forgetting where I was, spilling my drink with exasperated hand gestures, getting another drink, smoking a joint, finishing my story unsolicited at strange times, and making sarcastic, deadpan comments under and over my breath the whole damn time.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I sing along shamelessly to pop music and dance in strange places.
You should message me if
You have red hair because that is my kryptonite.
The two of us