27San Diego, United States
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My self-summary
Suuuuper sassy sarcastic (American, of course) straight half Sicilian, half Scot.

Tits mcgee, dogs rule ...Chargers foreve.... aw. Fuck. Grow a beard. Blunt and true, no bullshit.

If you only message me "hi," "hey," or "hello," I'm deleting your message.
FFS if you message me "Hi, Hey, Hello," I'm also deleting your message. It's not funny or original.

Goatees make me gag.

If my profile says "Online Now!" It's usually just because I forgot to close the app.
What I’m doing with my life
Paralegal/Legal Aide
I’m really good at
Self-deprecating humor
Dog cuddling
Cooking! I make a mean Sunday sauce (we pronounce it "sugu"), with meatballs (polpetti). I can throw together amazing lasagne, canneloni, spiedini, and arancini (among many others). I also I make great twice baked potatoes. (If I do say so myself ^__^)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Everybody Poops

Movies: Battle Royale, Supertroopers, Goon, La Vita é Bella, I'm a Cyborg, But That's OK, City of God, Oldboy (the original), Mama, Y Tu Mamá También, all LOTR, er'ry Harry Potter, Finding Nemo, everything old Disney, A River Runs Through It, Legends of the Fall, so many more
*if you're a bird, I'm a bird*

Shows: everything good. I'm serious.

Music: Grew up on classic rock, so I'm a sucker for it (saw Robert Plant & Jimmy Page on the Embarcadero ^__^). Prog rock, some metal, and 90s rock all have special places in my heart too. Love new alternative stuff (Cold War Kids are my favorite band ever, save Zeppelin, Tool, Atmosphere, Death Cab), but I'm also not opposed to top 40 - l love to dance.
"Eclectic," I guess.

Food: obviously Italian & Sicilian, Mexican, Thai, ramen, sushi, everything spicy. Is Sriracha a food group? Win my heart with obscure hot sauce.
Six things I could never do without
- My family. I'm one of 5 kids (second to youngest). I also have 4 nieces and recently a nephew! They all mean everything to me. Additionally, being Sicilian, I have about 80 cousins, haha, who I love dearly.
That's pretty much it. Everything else is unimportant/secondary to me without them.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Which burrito is next. Pollo asado? Cali? Chorizo? Chile relleno? Chili verde? Carnitas? Adobada tacos? Machaca? BCR?

Also, I always buy a bag of fresh tortilla chips when getting burritos (from the taco shop, of course). And I don't give a fuck if you find this weird - but I put them in my burritos. I guess akin to putting potato chips in sammiches. TRY IT, IT'LL CHANGE YOUR LIFE. You're welcome.
On a typical Friday night I am
Avoiding the downtown (clubs) and PB scenes at any cost.
You should message me if
Let's do a "You *shouldn't* message me if" just to shake things up:

-If you don't show your face/you're wearing sunglasses in all your pics, nah, c'mon.
-Youre into negging or PUA (pick up artistry) or whatever. (Sad I have to write that.)
-It's ALL day every day gym. I have nothing against personal health, I of course support it. If your world completely revolves around it, I'm not game.
-You plan on telling me how well off you are. Don't care, I like eating burritos by the beach dude. Costs like $20 max if we get some carne asade fries too.
...Don't forget the hot sauce though cuz that's just game over.

As for "should message me if"s:

-Honestly just don't be an ass. I've been *not* being an ass 90% (alright 79%) of my life and it's not hard. Be genuine. My name isn't "Sexy," "Baby," or any variation of the same comments that would make me scoff and laugh at you if you called me such in public.
It's not much to ask.
The two of us