31 Chicago, United States
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My self-summary
Stupid art and dumb jokes.

Tamales and Karaoke.

Watching movies is a sport and I play to win.

Last name Goldberger, first name ever.

My dogs are garbage dogs. I'm a garbage dog.

I don't sleep as much as I should.

I will probably message you late into the night, not because I'm creepy but because I'm up and I thought of something amazing* to say to you.

* Most likely, it will not be amazing. **

** I'm aware that this explanation and the one above it should come after what proceeds it, but this flows better.

If you're here because I linked this on my professional web site, yes I do very much want to work for you.
What I’m doing with my life
Just back from a seven week stay in NYC as an artists' assistant. Mostly I searched for, downloaded, catalogued, clipped out, and then organized pornography for their digital collage purposes. That or I walked around the city buying porno mags for their analogue collages.

Living with family for the time being as I'm back from far away. Taking some time to work on my own shit right now.
I’m really good at
Shitting the bed.

Figuratively, of course. Haven't done that sort of thing since I was a kid. And that's no "my biggest weakness is I care too much" kinda shit I'm pulling here. I really do shit the bed so expertly, so astoundingly, so perfectly it seems almost scripted like in a sitcom.
The first things people usually notice about me
My facial expressions, I'm part cartoon, on my Mother's side.


My neurosis
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Foods: Korean BBQ, Sushi, Tamales. Also, sandwiches.

TV: Luther, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Hannibal, Veronica Mars, King of the Hill, Louie, Narcos, Fargo.

Movies: Demolition Man, The Silence of The Lambs, Hudson Hawk, Jaws, Blazing Saddles, Cecil B Demented
The six things I could never do without
. Sleep deprivation
. Calcium
. Drawing
. Listing things
. My idiot best friend (any of them)
. Spanky (mah, stinky dog)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Movies that should nay NEED to be remade starring Dwayne The Rock Johnson
.The Running Man
. Twins (opposite Paul Giamatti)
. Kindergarten Cop
. Turner and Hooch/K911
Yes in aware most of these are just Arnold Schwarzenegger movies, but The Rock could make them so much better.
On a typical Friday night I am
Karaoke, working in the studio, or doing something dumb. I do a lot of dumb things, because I'm an idiot.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Once while sitting around watching television I had an epiphany and I said "So THAT's why it's called the afternoon" . Yeah also, I was 20 at the time ...
You should message me if
You have the uncanny ability to be amused by/partake in the stupid shit I do. Seriously I do a lot of stupid shit everyday and most of it I'll do until the day I die. #stupidshit4thecure