MidniteRain
29Barrière, Canada
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MidniteRain
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My self-summary
***User Agreement: If you choose to peruse this user profile you agree to accept it "as-is." Your time is non-refundable, this profile has no warranty, & you cannot hold the creator liable for confusion, frustration, or laughter that you may incur while reading.

User Warning: This area is under construction & if you choose to enter, you do so at your own risk. Just like this profile, I'm under renovation.

I don't wear make-up, high heels or dresses. I don't go clubbing or partying. I like snakes, bugs, & dirt. If any of this is a significant issue for you, please make use of the "back" button on your device & move on to the next profile.***

... ... ...

We now return to the regular scheduled profile:

*looks around* So this is the box I get to put my self in? I'm not a contortionist...

Not only do we instinctively hide the most meaningful parts of ourselves from others, but the most meaningful things that make up our selves cannot be understood through words alone. It's all about perspectives, so why don't you tell me about myself?

No? Mmk then, here it goes (in no particular order)...

I enjoy basically any craftwork/creative endeavours. I spend the majority of any free time I can get reading, creating, &/or out in nature. I draw, paint & write poetry to prevent my brain from exploding & to remind me of my self.

I can appreciate simplicity, but I generally prefer the complex, complicated & interconnected. I search for intensity & have an insatiable curiosity.

I enjoy manipulating metaphors. I contradict myself A LOT but I can usually come up with a logical explanation that I can at least convince myself with. I'm an empathetic misanthrope...how's that for contradiction? (Ask me & I'll explain)

I sing when I'm certain no one is listening. I don't dance. I will hug a random person if I think they could use one...& yes, trees count as people. I will also randomly give back massages to people if I think they could use one...in this case, trees don't count.

I'm an IN(T/F)J, if you're interested in that kind of pigeonholing of complex beings. I spend a lot of time thinking about how I feel & about how I think. Sometimes I get frustrated when people misunderstand me, but I can also understand why they do because I can't figure myself out half the time either.

In most situations I usually appear to be quiet & shy, but I also have a tendency to be random, especially under the influence of coffeine, more so under the influence of sleep deprivation (which occurs often). Yes, COFFEINE...no, I didn't spell it wrong. I hate sleeping. I love coffee. Think what you want, they are completely unrelated...mostly...unrelated I tell you! I love the smell of coffee at night & the smooth taste of it anytime. I have a love/hate relationship with sleep, because while I think there are better things to do than act comatose for 8 hours, dreaming can be good.

Apparently I step outside of my comfortable shell of introversion if I feel passionately about something. I guess my intense need to fight against what I feel is wrong overrides my intense desire to avoid the rabble.

I'm frequently found star-gazing/sky-watching & I seek solitude, which is why I love the night. Being awake, outside, at night refreshes & revitalizes me. I'm captivated by rain & I long for a good storm. Rain at midnight seems to be most brilliant than at any other time. I don't think I'll ever be able to live anywhere not close to some sort of large body of water, unless I'm surrounded by forests. Then again, there's still beauty in deserts. I think though, part of it is because I find myself desperate for fresh air when I spend too much time in the city.

I came here for the tests, found the (original) matching system fascinating & stayed for the interesting conversations. I've been here on and off long enough to have given up on any hope that something grand will come of this, but I've crossed paths with enough interesting people from here to stick around for awhile.

***Be forewarned***

I don't date. I spend real, quality time with individuals, and give space to let a relationship grow between us, in whatever form that may turn out to be. If you are looking for a date or think the friend-zone is real, you should move along.

If you hate tree-hugging dirt worshippers (ie. ecogeeks, otherwise known as environmentalists) then move along, quickly. Also, if you resemble anything like the polar opposite of such a person, move along much more quickly & take your Hummer & Kurig with you. Don't mistake me for a dirty Liberal enviro nut; I don't think the planet needs saving, I just think Earth needs us to stop messing with it. We need to get over our delusions of grandeur that we're the greatest beings on this planet and could possibly know how to "save" it.

I might as well get this out in the open right away. I'm a "No, Rarely, Never" (smoking, drinking, drugs) kind of person & if I do feel like interacting with people, it's generally of the same bunch.

I suppose I should mention some of the types I usually don't get along with for extensive periods of time, (though I can be friendly with most): capitalists, extreme right wingers (& the extreme left wingers), the closed-minded, the immature (not child-like, that's okay, childish is not unless you are an actual child, in which case you shouldn't be here), those wrapped up in the media/fashion/fads, people who dislike learning, & those with no manner of respect (for other people or the rest of the living world).

This warning label is cleverly disguised as a user profile.

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"I am Independent, Curious, and Abstruse"
What I’m doing with my life
Searching for balance, trying to find myself. I thought I had it all figured out then I ran away from my self to go find out who I was supposed to be. I'm still discovering who I am & who I can be; I don't expect it to be a short trip.

Graduated with an Associate degree in Environmental Studies on the mainland, moved to Victoria to go to UVic for a double major in Geography & Environmental Studies, with a minor in Indigenous Studies. I dabble in Forest Sciences, Ecological Restoration, & Ethnobotany/Anthropology. I'll always keep a place for Philosophy, even if I doubt I'll study it in any academic capacity again. Learning plays a central role in my life (which stems from intense curiosity.

I used to spend all of my extra time volunteering. Currently I only pitch in with local environmental groups occasionally. Up until this year, I volunteered at a writers' conference for a week, every year for 10 years. I'm currently trying to settle into this place before I find new causes to volunteer for.

The only place I have ever wanted to visit (outside of Canada, as Haida Gwaii calls to me) is Ireland. There is so much to explore & beauty to see in my own backyard so I never had the "grass is greener on the other side of the fence" desire to go anywhere else, despite my curiosity.

*Update 1 - School is expensive! (No surprise, but still...) - moved up north for work
*Update 2 - Up North is racist & sexist (Also no surprise...) & my permanent job turned into a temporary contract - moved back to my home territory in the interior & doing research work!

For all I loathe traveling & moving, I've done it a lot in the last few years...more details to follow.
I’m really good at
Avoiding answering binary questions? Being a hermit?

I really don't know how to answer this question...

"Good" is relative...I'm better at some things than other things, I'm better at those things than other people are & other people are better at them than I am.

Some say I'm good at being stubborn & difficult. Others say over-analyzing everything. I suppose I'd say thinking about things from different perspectives, being curious & self-aware. I'm pretty passionate about gaining new knowledge & anything that piques my curiosity or leaves me feeling inspired I tend to do relatively well with.
The first things people usually notice about me
This question is awkward - How am I supposed to know what other people think or notice?

If I weren't me, I would probably notice my eyes first. I've been told they can be intense & they do change colour with my moods & surroundings.

If I'm happy it may be my smile. If I was someone tall, I'd notice how (incredibly) short I am...If I'm bending over then no one would see my eyes first.

See my problem with this question? Each person will see some different feature first...& it depends on the situation, & their perspective.

Okay, putting my animosity towards the wording of these questions aside, most times people mistake me for being angry because if I've found something that has caught my interest or piqued my curiosity (which happens a lot), I focus intently on it.

...apparently my intent, focused face looks like an angry she-bear when someone gets too close to her cubs...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Much of this section really should just be skimmed over...as it's probably the least important. I understand its purpose, however limited in its depths (Omg! You like Firefly/The Princess Bride/Bacon too? It must be true love!). Why someone loves or loathes specific phenomena is what I'm interested in.

(A) I have too many favourite books to name them all here. Some authors that come to mind that I enjoy would be Thomas Harris, C.E. Murphy, Kim Stanley Robinson, Minette Walters, Dan Brown, Nevada Barr, Thomas King, Lee Maracle, Katherina Vermette, Eden Robinson, Catherine Knutsson, & Kurt Vonnegut. I enjoy any book that makes me question life or opens my eyes to different perspectives.

Natural Flights of the Human Mind by Clare Morall is one that always sticks in my mind. It's one of those good books that you don't realize is a good book until you're too far into the story to stop, so you read it all in one sitting. Another book I enjoyed immensely was Land of the Living by Nicci French. The Silver Key by H.P. Lovecraft is one of my more recent favourite pieces of fictional work. One of my favourite short stories is Lukundoo by Edward Lucas White.

Right now I'm in the middle of reading The Walker Papers series by C.E. Murphy (again), Seeing the Forest Among the Trees by Herb Hammond, and some texts on local history. When I'm in the mood I pick up where I left off in The Portable Nietzsche, Basic Writings of Heidegger, & Being & Nothingness by Sartre (I doubt I'll fully finish any of these anytime soon [or at all], but I'm enjoying them). I semi-recently finished The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Rule of Four, The Forest Lover, & Ghost Detective & enjoyed them all. I've also recently read a few books about local plants & herbs & a bunch of ecology/environmental books.

...This list will constantly be needing revision. Constantly. I usually have a few thousand books on my shelves...I doubt I will ever update this often enough.

(B) I struggle with most chick flicks or horror movies where the only purpose of the movie is to inflict terror. Though a decent horror movie that has a smooth story line, believable characters, & still manages to give you nightmares is grand. I will also watch practically any movie once if someone else is watching it & I happen to be spending time with them.

I generally (there are a few exceptions) don't enjoy movies based on books. I'm the type of person who will try to read the book before watching the movie (if I'm aware that the movie was based on a book), knowing full well it will probably ruin the movie for me. I would rather have a movie (that will most likely be terrible anyway) ruined instead of a book ruined by a movie. If you're a book-before-movie person, you know what I'm getting at.

I enjoy movies that have you guessing the whole way through & you can't figure out what's going on until the last few minutes (or you have to watch over & over again before you get it all)...& I'm disappointed that there are so few of them.

*Memento*, Office Space, Fracture, *Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind*, *Stranger Than Fiction*, Wall-E, October Sky, Waking Life, The Prestige, *Howl's Moving Castle*, Princess Mononoke, Ponyo on a Cliff, Avatar*, The Lakehouse, Gattaca, *Sherlock Holmes*, Inception, Inside Out, Deadpool, Once, Thunderheart, & One Week, are a few of my favourites.

The most amazing movies I've watched somewhat recently are *Stay*, Agora, The Fountain, *August Rush*, The Man from Earth, *What Dreams May Come*, & The Age of Innocence. What We Do in the Shadows is gold. Warm Bodies was equally chuckle-worthy.

The most intriguing film I've watched is both a short film & a dance film, *Asylum of Spoons*. It was grand.

Tommorowland is another movie I was happily surprised with, & Gravity was pretty good. An older movie I wasn't expecting much of, but enjoyed immensely is Lost River.

(C) Favourite T.V. Shows: I used to watch Psyfactor, Mysterious Ways, God, the Devil & Bob, Dead Like Me, Whose Line is it Anyway?, Holmes on Homes, Supernatural, & House. I was watching Criminal Minds, Republic of Doyle, & Dr. Who for awhile, but not so much any more.

I rarely watch T.V. at all now, but if I do it's because I've binge-watched it, including: Haven, Fringe, Penny Dreadful, Jessica Jones, X-Files, Hannibal, and Strange Empire. Sometimes I'm in the mood for DIY/Home improvement shows. Oh, & I like Joss Whedon's work (Dollhouse & Firefly).

(D) Music is something I don't think I could feel alive without. I enjoy most music besides most rap & twangy country. I don't generally listen to jazz or blues, but under the right circumstances I enjoy them (say if I'm at a bistro or something that has live music, I don't mind, & often enjoy most of it). I'm always looking for anything that hits me in the chest or the feels. Intense violin/cello pieces do me in.

A few artists I appreciate (in no particular order) are: *Noah Gundersen*, NeedtoBreathe, Sleeping at Last, My Name is You, Lindsey Sterling, Dirty Grace, West My Friend, *The Goo Goo Dolls*, Lifehouse, Red, Default, City and Colour, The Tea Party, Matchbox 20, Evanescence, *Sarah McLachlan*, Yellowcard, 12 Stones, December's End, *Breaking Benjamin*, Boys Like Girls, Neve, The Calling, The Fray, Death Cab For Cutie, Poets of the Fall, One Republic, Savage Garden, Josh Groban, State of Shock, Joshua Radin, Train, Creed, Enya, Enigma, Switchfoot, Dashboard Confessional, Emerson Hart, Staind, Our Lady Peace, John Butler Trio, Wintersleep, Bon Iver, Rise Against, Graham Colton Band, Art of Dying, Sigur Ros, Matt Nathanson, Matt Wertz, Matthew Good, Matt Pond PA, Mae, Shinedown, Secondhand Serenade, Dan Mangan, Andy McKee, Better Than Ezra, Trading Yesterday, Within Temptation, Halestorm, Eluveitie, Nightwish, Imogen Heap, Loreena McKennitt, Flyleaf, Eagle & Hawk, Medicine Dreams, By a Thread, Xavier Rudd, My Latest Novel, Sound Refuge (Markus Michelucci), Nick Sherman, Florence + the Machine...OK I give up, there are too many to name.

One of my more strange loves when it comes to music is Margot & the Nuclear So & So's.

The most brilliantly inspiring work I have ever heard in forever? Shane Koyczan and the Short Story Long.

(F) The only thing I can think of is Sushi, but maybe Thai, Mexican, or Curry for a treat. Though, I do prefer fresh fruit & veggies to any sort of processed version. I don't eat much meat at all when I'm in the city, but here I eat a lot of wild meat & fish. The term I'd call my diet is "flexitarian." Oh, but if Coffee is considered a food, then that would be my absolute favourite. Wait, is Sriracha a food? How about Bubble Tea?

I do get cravings for certain foods, mostly spicy food, bagels with cream cheese, smoked salmon, Salt Water Taffy, Cranberry Almond Nougat or weird combinations of ordinary food.

One thing I'll never eat again, though I've tried twice, is uni (sea urchin). Never. Again.

(S) Favourite Scents: freshly squeezed lime, cilantro, mint, lavender, sagebrush, Petrichor, forests...I almost want to say my favourite sense is the ability to smell...but any sort of intense stimulation of any one of the senses is amazing. If I had to give up one of the five senses, I think it would be sight.

(Q) Favourite quotes:

"The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek."

~Joseph Campbell

"We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves."

~François Duc de La Rochefoucauld

"I know you believe you understand what you think I said. But I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."

~ Alan Greenspan

"...And what you do not know, you will fear. What one fears, one destroys."

"The time will soon be here when my grandchild will long for the cry of a loon, the flash of a salmon, the whisper of spruce needles, or the screech of an eagle. But he will not make friends with any of these creatures and when his heart aches with longing he will curse me. Have I done all to keep the air fresh? Have I cared enough about the water? Have I left the eagle to soar in freedom?"

~Chief Dan George

(Z) Favourite Word: Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia (I love irony) tied with Syzygy or Petrichor...defenestrate & snarky are pretty close as well...No, I think the winner would be Petrichor.
Six things I could never do without
Why six? I think maybe nine would be more significant: isoleucine, leucine, lysine, methionine, histidine, phenylalanine, threonine, tryptophan, & valine...

...water, oxygen, food & the like, which are the only true things I could never survive for long without. If you want to get technical, then just energy & matter.

Freedom.

All terribly tired jokes aside, here are the types of energy & matter that matter to me, that I don't feel like myself without:

{} An open book (I like to keep my mind occupied & challenged)...

{} Coffee (which I won't admit I'm addicted to)...Tea is also grand...Is coffee just a kind of tea?...

{} An open mind (in this case, that encompasses logic, intuition emotion, creativity & imagination) & some way to express it all (ie. creative outlets, mind puzzles, etc.)...

{} Other (non-human) beings (plants & animals)...

{} Music...

{} Rain (& most especially thunderstorms)...

OK, I'm going to break the rules here (OKCupid censors close your eyes)...

I can't get enough of HUGS & cuddling. I probably could live without them, but I know I wouldn't enjoy it.

Another list that I quite like, that deals more with energy (or non-material "things") rather than matter ("things"):

{} Empathy

{} Philosophy

{} Beauty

{} Euphony

{} Aromatherapy

{} Creativity
I spend a lot of time thinking about
...Everything & Nothing & Being & Time. At the same time. All the time.

This question is even worse than the "self-summary" box. How am I supposed to fit all of my thoughts, ideas, & memories into a box?

*

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***Feel free to skip/skim over this***

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Well, one random thing I keep working over in my brain is "Justified true belief" as a definition of knowledge. I think about many things from as many different perspectives as possible to come up with an answer that will satisfy my curiosity at the time.

I wouldn't say I spend a lot of time thinking about this one, but sporadically, I think of how awesome it would be if the Religion options on OKC were changed to previous options like: "No," "Sometimes," "Rarely," "Desperately," "Never," "Only When Drinking," or "Trying to Quit."

Right now I'm trying to define what I believe in one term. Am I agnostic? Atheist? An Agnostic Theist? Maybe Irreligious or spiritual. Another one that is pretty close is Metaphysical Naturalism ("nature is all there is & all basic truths are truths of nature."). Maybe an Irreligious Ignostic Metaphysical Naturalist...

I have casually studied existentialism, so I've been thinking about life a lot, more specifically human existence. I ran to science when religion failed me, telling me that my curiosity would lead me to the devil, & it served me well enough to bring me to college, but I found the possibility of the missing pieces in Philosophy.

I'm open-minded when it comes to spirituality & religion, but I also think that organized religion has a tendency to relieve people of the burden of thinking for themselves. It frustrates me like nothing else when people use their religion (or any world-view) as an excuse to not take responsibility for their own actions. Even worse are those who believe in their religion (or world-view) only when it's convenient for them. Here are my thoughts on people like that:

"God told me I needed to kill someone, so I had to do it."
ME: "But God also told you to jump off a bridge, why didn't you feel you had to do that?"
"Because if I did that, then I couldn't kill that person"
ME: "So in that case, maybe God was actually telling you that you had the choice to NOT kill that person"
"But...then I'd be dead"
ME: "Well...that's a really good option as well."

...People in general wear down my soul, but I know there are individual persons out there that would fascinate me, rekindle my spirit & my opinion of humanity, so I hold on to the possibility that we'll cross paths one day. I wouldn't go as far as hope...Hope is a fickle & cruel...mistress.

Like I said, my curiosity gets the better of me, so I spend a lot of time thinking about a lot of things. I lose track of time (& depth perception) when I'm lost in thought...or when I've lost my glasses, wondering where I put them. I walk around bumping into walls & tripping over penguins like a bumbling idiot, until I finally find them (my glasses, not the penguins) exactly where I knew I put them but I just couldn't see that they were there.

Sometimes I have so many unrelated thoughts (usually half-formed) racing through my head that they crash into each other (it's a great visual which always amuses me; high-speed train-of-thought crashes in my mind) & I can rarely make sense of any of them. My thoughts often contradict each other as well, but I usually can come up with convincing justifications for their conflicting natures...or at least I like to tell myself that.

Lately I've been getting distracted easily & my memory... O0o is that a penny? Hmm, I think I want sushi...Oh, hey it's raining!...What was I saying?

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This brain tangent is not so cleverly disguised as a user profile.
On a typical Friday night I am
Trying to feel fiercely alive again.

What's so special about Friday nights anyways? The stars shine on all the other nights too!

...Reading a book, sketching, writing poems, watching the rain fall, watching a movie, listening to music, gardening, or going for a long walk (possibly in the rain, or with my camera in hand) with no goal/destination in mind. Occasionally I'll have a 3 a.m. coffee with a friend. Sometimes I'll be playing video games, though not so much anymore.

On some of my nights/days off I rally with environmental & Indigenous groups.

...Which brings up another thing I was trying to avoid mentioning because it just gets sticky, but I've realized is too important to me to not bring up. If you are against people fighting for decolonization, or you harbour discriminatory thoughts against First Nations/Aboriginal/Native American/Indigenous peoples, move along to a different profile, swiftly. We will not get along. Ever. Go now.

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Update I.I: I just moved back to Interior after 15 years of living on the Coast/Island with a brief stint up North. Still trying to settle in here, so there is no typical Friday night for me yet.
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Back to the question at hand:

If you're wondering if I enjoy partying (as Friday, I'm told, is a typical night to party) then no, I dislike parties, clubs, & bars. If you're wondering what I do on the first night of my day(s) off, then it's usually doing things that I didn't have a chance to accomplish on the days I had work/research/volunteering.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
As this is a public profile, once I admit it here it will no longer be private, will it? If you want to know something just ask me and I may or may not answer it.

OK, OK...I despise this formation of words strung together in a fashion that's supposed to be of some resemblance of my self for others to peruse and try to decide if they would want to interact with me. I'm terrible at keeping in touch, no matter how interesting the person or conversation & I mostly came here to pass time by doing meaningless tests...now OKC has really screwed the pooch, & I wonder why I stick around. There is no point in reading this profile to get to know me, as the me I pretend to know & show you will be different from the person you believe you may know.

...If this is a trap to try and get me to admit that I have some hot fantasy that maybe someone else in the world shares, so if they read this then they'll have a sudden urge to message me so we can have some hot cybersex, then it's not going to work. I'm not here to find a "date"/someone to have meaningless sex with.

...

OK, OK, OK! I know this is supposed to be juicy and all, so I'll write something of that sort to amuse a random stranger:

I joined an online-dating site. There, happy?

No...I didn't think so.

Alright...Clowns...they're inherently creepy. Come on, now! Whoever thought it was a good idea to let their child take candy & balloons from an old man wearing a disguise & hiding his face with a permanent smile? Nutcrackers are equally creepy.

...

Despite the length of this profile, there are more layers to what makes up me that I wouldn't & won't disclose on the interwebs. For that, you'll have to talk to me in person.
You should message me if
So this is where I'm supposed to list every premise that defines when you should message me? There's a countless number of possibilities that could give you reason to message me. For instance:

The mood strikes you...

The mood struck you so hard you're looking for some sympathy... No, I won't kiss it better...

You have nothing better to do so you figure that you might as well do it, even if you have nothing to say or what you think you may say will hardly make any sense at all...

You're bored (or you feel like it)...

You're curious about anything & you want to share that curiosity with me...

You're a book-before-movie person...

You're an ellipses person...

You're a tree-hugging dirt worshipper...

You think fighting for what is right is important...

You're for decolonization...

You want to know what decolonization is... (if you open this door, be prepared to step through it or move along to another profile)

You would enjoy an in-depth conversation about problematic terms like "truth," "research," & "decolonization"...

You feel like discussing or debating anything at all...

You want to verbally maul me for my opinions on controversial topics...

You have a new perspective to share with me...

You want to harass me for having such a long profile... (This is a favourite; I'm getting a little bored with it)

I missed a 'u' in favourite, colour or any other word that should have a 'u' in it (Regardless of what the generic American dictionary states!) & you would like to point it out...

You're wondering what hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia means (& don't be scared that I've used words like abstruse & hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia; I'm not a sesquipedalian, there are just some large, obscure words that I love & sometimes I wish everyday language was still colourful & exciting in conversation)...

If the idea of spending your entire life on the capitalistic treadmill in a crowded, polluted city gives you nightmares. Or conversely, the idea of smaller self-sufficient, sustainable communities, that fit in with the local environment (or similar notion) makes you happy inside...

You agree that Petrichor is not only the best thing ever, it is the best word ever...

You want to know what Petrichor is...

You can convince me there is something better in this world than Petrichor...

You think OKC should revise these profile questions too (especially this one)...

...

Okay! I'll bite:

***You can teach me something new...(paddle boarding, yoga, carpentry, how to play an instrument, origami, a joke...the answer to life, the universe, & everything...doesn't matter)

***You wouldn't mind a partner for spontaneous casual hikes, 3am coffees/road trips, camping/fishing trips, etc. etc. (I haven't done any of those in far too long), or even to just sit companionably in silence, taking in some breathtakingly inspiring surroundings (music, scenery, movies, etc)...

Really, almost anything goes. You may message me & I might feel like responding, but I may not. If the question was worded "I'd like you to message me if" then this would've been much easier...or even better "Don't message me if..."

On that note, *don't* message me if you're going to proselytize (even atheists can be preachy). I'm fairly open-minded but I have little patience for people preaching their world-views, be it religious, political, or other belief. I am interested in discussing & comparing different beliefs, but burn your soap box, first.

If you fit into any one of those categories (or any other for that matter), you've made it this far, & you haven't been frightened away yet, then maybe you should consider messaging me...

Or I should consider giving you a medal...or a cookie...or...something.

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NB: I usually don't respond to one or two word initial messages...unless they are truly fantabulous articulations that pique my curiosity or make me laugh..."42" does not count here. "Usually" is the operative word; unique profiles will work in place of long-winded introductions.
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