32Oakland, United States
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My self-summary
Well hello there, welcome to my profile. Take a seat, stay awhile. Want some tea? Coffee? A shot of bourbon? Don’t worry, I got what you need. Except Jägermeister, that shit is gross.

Let’s start off with a helping of the basics:
In seriousness: I'm looking to co-create a warm and playful space in which we can explore intimacy in all of its beautiful forms.

In less seriousness: I have Subway coupons. If you’re lucky I’ll take you. $5 footlong menu only.

And now for some random beliefs I hold, in no particular order:
- Cowboy boots are badass.
- Everything in moderation, especially moderation.
- Limes make pretty much everything taste better.
- Owning insecurity makes it like armor.
- Socks worn with sandals may be the worst thing ever.
- Awareness is light. It doesn’t always reveal pretty things, but it beats stumbling around in the dark.
- Pennies are the bane of my existence.
- No one is a monolith.
What I’m doing with my life
Non-profit fundraiser/grant writer/director.
Certified sex educator.
Sexual assault crisis counselor.
Aspiring psychiatric nurse practitioner.
Might secretly moonlight as a party clown.
I’m really good at
Animal whispering.
Fixing stuff. Productivity increases with beer and pizza.
Putting my foot in my mouth in spectacular fashion.
Researching obscure topics. Like" war elephants" or how to make a air conditioner out of fans, a cooler, and ice.
Cooking (aka putting tasty stuff together to make it more tasty)
Being a space cadet (aka constantly forgetting where I am and what I'm doing).
Acting as source of cheap labor.
Taking the conversation to that next level.
The first things people usually notice about me
My voice and how I should be in radio. Or is it ON radio? I can never remember.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
My deep dark secret:
I have a problem constantly reading books. It's not a big deal or anything; I just break out into hives and start sweating if I don't. And then wake up in forest, naked, covered in animal blood. Like I said, not a big deal.

Some movies I recently saw and liked:
Get Out, Moonlight, Arrival, Sausage Party, The Usual Suspects

Shows I just binge watched:
Westworld, Better Call Saul, Fargo, The Patriot, Rick and Morty, Stranger Things, Ash Vs. Evil Dead, Legion, Last Week Tonight

Bands/Artists I'd likely shank someone to see:
Young the Giant
Flight of the Conchords
Alabama Shakes
Roger Waters
The Avalanches

I've never met a well-made meal I didn't like.
I could probably eat Mexican or Indian food any day of the week.
Six things I could never do without
snooze alarm,
bag fries (aka bagglers),
wonderful people
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What would happen if Pinocchio said, "My nose is about to grow."

Why Sandra Bullock seemingly never ages. My current theory is that she's a Highlander. There can be only ONE!
On a typical Friday night I am
At home, by myself, giggling while I make fart noises with silly putty.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have a two-headed quarter that I use for tough decisions.

My blush reflex is on a hair trigger. Sometimes I blush cause I'm embarrassed or upset, sometimes for like no reason, and sometimes on weekends, holidays, and all throughout May.

When I was five I got chased up a tree by a bull. True story.
You should message me if
You have a "regular ability to express certain emotions, especially mirth or delight, by a series of spontaneous, usually unarticulated sounds often accompanied by corresponding facial and bodily movements." (Flailing body movements are acceptable).

You have tickets to Book of Mormon and want to take me. I'm serious.
The two of us