38Chicago, United States
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My self-summary
"I'm a wrecking ball with a heart of gold.
Acting like a child while I'm growing old."
-Dieter Merckel

I am a visual artist, musician, DJ, stand-up comedian, and occasional math tutor. I prefer to laugh as much as possible.

I have a tattoo of the cover of Shel Silverstein's "The Giving Tree" that is old enough to legally drive a car in most states.

I have a bizarre sense of humor that makes it difficult for many people to discern when I'm joking. This is exacerbated by my announcer-like voice, and the fact that most of my true anecdotes sound like fiction. For example: a conversion van that I once owned was featured in a few episodes of the HBO television show "The Wire".
What I’m doing with my life
I just moved to Chicago last year. I'm trying to get to know all 2.7 million people here.
I’m really good at
...being funny, being affectionate, being attractive, and... uh... art.
The first things people usually notice about me
My booming, resonant, baritone voice; my adorable Southern accent; the infectious smile from which that voice emanates; and the gorgeous red beard that surrounds that mouth.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: almost anything by Kurt Vonnegut or David Sedaris
Movies: almost anything by Wes Anderson
TV Shows: Parks and Recreation, Project Runway, Archer, Modern Family, Drunk History, The Eric Andre Show, Scandal, Arrested Development.
Music: This is always such a tough question. Here are a few off the top of my head: Alice Coltrane, Com Truise, Of Montreal, Death Grips, Danny Brown, Earl Sweatshirt, Daft Punk, The Hood Internet, Neon Indian, Girl Talk, Frank Ocean, The White Mandingos, Pizzicato Five, Charles Earland, Alan Hawkshaw, etc...
Food: Mexican, Thai, Ethiopian, Jamaican, American Comfort Food, Vietnamese, decadent sandwiches... I live dangerously close to the restaurant "Cookies and Carnitas".
Six things I could never do without
In no particular order: creativity, hugs, laughter, cooking, music, alcoholic beverages.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
way too much.
On a typical Friday night I am
There are no typical Friday nights for me. I may be dj-ing a party, staying home and cooking a huge dinner, tossing back bourbon at the bar with friends, or rescuing kittens from burning buildings.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
My voicemail outgoing message was recorded in 2005, in Baltimore, Maryland. I was 26 years old, and it was my first cellular telephone. I've never lost or broken a mobile phone. So, I've upgraded for free throughout the years, and I've never changed the outgoing message because I want to see how long I can keep it. It will be a solid decade this October.
You should message me if
...you have a remarkable sense of humor and you'd like to exchange hundreds of laughs over a few drinks.

...you are also new to Chicago and want to check out some galleries and/or music venues together.

...you are a long-time citizen of Chicago that would like to show me some cools spots, and bask in my bewildered merriment.

...you're looking for a safe, fun, friend with possible benefits

...(most importantly) you can say more than "hey nice pics". Captivate me and be honest about yourself.
The two of us