Laughing. Sometimes with you. Sometimes AT you. Sometimes at ME. But mainly at YOU. Let’s face it, humans are funny creatures. Both funny haha and funny stupid. And if you can’t laugh at the funny things that happen in life, I have one simple task for you. Go jump out of an airplane without a parachute. I guarantee you’ll be laughing hysterically by the time you reach the ground. That or you’ll be crying hysterically. But sometimes people laugh so hard that they start to cry, so really it's all the same to me. If you've got a twisted sense of humor, we need to hang.
Alcohol. I've got three words for you. Irish. Car. Bombs.
Tattoos. Because they’re awesome. And they look cool. And they’re addicting. You can tell a lot about a person by the tattoos they have. I have tattoos, and I want more. They’re hidden of course, due to my job. But when I quit my job for a more interesting life path, I intend to get 5 more tattoos, including sleeves. Chicks covered in tattoos = awesome. They also equal batshit crazy. But that’s cool though, cause who wants to hang with boring, lame prudes all day anyways?
Update (3/1/16): I have sleeves. And they're amazing! And no, I don't care that bubbie doesn't approve.
Cooking. As a man, in the kitchen, I do the damn thing. I whip up everything from party snacks to multi-course meals to a full-blown-on spread capable of feeding a house full of 100 drunken partygoers. Now, for some of you ladies out there, you’re gonna tell me that you don’t know how to make something as simple as a grilled cheese sandwich? Shieeet… Let me tell you something. You need to get back in the kitchen with some cook books and step your game up. Does that statement make me a chauvinistic pig? Who cares. Sometimes I want a girl to come over and cook for me. And if she's any good, I'll definitely be serving her dessert afterwards.
Traveling. I was born in Cali, raised in Florida so I LOVE warm weather! I moved around a lot as a kid, and I've been to 46 foreign countries in my life.
Host parties. My mind is a machine when it comes to planning parties. I’m very, very good at it. And I like to do it often. Most of the time, it’s at my own expense, both time & money-wise.
Drum. I've been drumming since I was a wee little one. And I rock harder than you. Currently I'm helping my Cali-transplant buddy remix his songs from his old band. If you're interested in listening to some of it, hit me up and I'll send you the links.
Rebel Bingo. If you don't know what this is, stop reading right now and immediately Google it! If you love to party, your life will never be the same.
Movies: Comedies, Action, Adventure.
TV: Anything of Netflix, iTunes, or on the net. Always Sunny, I like How I Met Your Mother, Entourage, Being Human, Shark Tank, Happy Endings, Californication, Weeds, Hu$tle, True Blood, Greek, Firefly, and any soccer game that might be on.
Music: House (Bad Boy Bill, Tiesto), Dubstep (Nero, Deadmau5, Knife Party), Hip-Hop/Rap (Lupe Fiasco, B.o.B, Kanye West, JR & PH7), Rock (Rush), Alternative (Say Anything, Plain White T's, Motion City Soundtrack), Jam Bands (Dave Matthews & Victor Wooten), Old School (Earth Wind & Fire, Al Green), Pop (Mika, Bruno Mars, Michael Jackson, Musashino Roman, Dexy's Midnight Runners, A-Ha), Hard Rock (I Am Ghost, 30 Seconds to Mars, Shiny Toy Guns), Country (Josh Turner, John Michael Montgomery), etc...
Food: No preference. Anything that taste good!!! Oh, and I'm kind of addicted to oranges.
Drinks: My choice cocktails are Single Malt Whiskeys and Gin & Tonic, my choice beer type is a wheat beer, and my choice wines are any Malbec and my newest fav, J. Lohr Wildflower Valdiguie.
My next tattoos.
And my next Snapchat masterpiece.
If listening to this gets you pumped up or, like me, gives you the sudden urge to strip, we'll get along just fine. :-)
Also, I'm into the scene. Guess which one and you get a cookie.
You're like Bjork with better fashion sense
Many people know exactly what they don't want/don't like and have a hard time defining what they do want. I just learned about an exercise that is useful in being clear about exactly what I do want so I'll try it here with respect to women/a relationship.
Don't Want || Do Want
Out of Shape/Fat || Healthy/In Shape
Taller than 5'10" || Approx 5'0"-5'6"
Boring || Exciting/Entertaining
Tyrant/Abusive || Caring
Doesn't Listen || Good Listener
Shy || Outgoing
Passive/Indecisive || Engaging/Presents ideas for activities
Prude || Sexually Open/Curious
Against Tattoos || Ok with my tattoos/Has tattoos
Judgmental || Understanding
Gold Digger || Responsible with Money/Has own funds
Dumb || Intelligent
Lackadaisical || Goal Driven
Ugly || Attractive
Homebody || Active
A Flake || Follows thru with commitments/plans
**Mind you, none of these are absolutes (except for not being a flake). More like preferences. So even if you don't fit into every single category, hit me up anyways.**
Also, hit me up if you realize that 95% of this profile is made to scare off the lame/boring girls. ;)