Moral of the story: I don't know! I don't know what I'm doing!
*Loneliness is a moon that pulls the tides of my being. My deepest want is a people to belong to and to protect. LOOKING FOR TRIBE.*
**All I want to do is explore stuff, make comic books, read science articles, and bankroll a technocratic revolution. If you're down with that, get in here.**
***I just recently realized that I might actually be a grandmother trapped in a young bear man's body. All the signs are there: bosomy hugs, baking, spoiling children, watching shitty soaps. Werewolves have the moon. I have the smell of freshly baked apples.***
****If I liked you, and you visit my page and see that I'm across the galaxy from you, it's because I'm a people watcher and your profile made me smile. Maybe you said something neat or have really cool interests, and it just means I'm excited that the world contains you.****
I prefer people with open minds and burning convictions. I thrive on intellectual stimulation and debate, always seeking new things to inspire growth. I look for knowledge and find it in challenge.
It would be excellent to find a mind similarly aspected, also with a philosophical bent. Plato's 'The Republic', 'Nicomachean Ethics' by Aristotle, with a healthy dose of that Le Bon guy's 'The Crowd'. Also, if you can find strong symmetry between Rumi, Frank O'Hara, and Louis CK, you and I will get along famously.
My sense of justice and politics are important to me, but I'm not the zealous firebrand I used to be. I probably identify best as a democratic socialist libertarian bright green eco-feminist wookie love muffin. I lean Left quite hard on most things, but I've found it more important in the past few years to pull myself into understanding and companionship with people who hold perspectives opposite mine. Since I finally broke down and bought a new pair of glasses, I very much prefer doddering around the old dusty rooms and dark corners of the mind (any mind), and happily sharing that space and a coffee with any other brain that's as interested in poking bears as I am.
I'm pretty relaxed, but don't like to let life just happen to me, so I own it. It's my life, my meandering pace. I may be the only person I know who enjoys stillness. I have an almost John Cage sized reverence for "silence".
If just seeing me on a typical day, what I am is a simple man with a big mind. I enjoy a relatively geeky lifestyle: comics, video games, intense brainstorming, etc. I have new ideas and inventions every day and seek out how to implement them or people who can make it happen. I am hopelessly attracted to innovation and deep conversation, and I am raw in my approach to others. So let's dispense with the being guarded and get to innovating!
I'm super down with Food Not Bombs and I do view poverty as a form of violence. I support capitalism insofar as it can get us to the next level of technological development in order to operate our basic human needs through a post-scarce model, but I'm largely socialistic through a technocratic lens. I'm pro-nuclear and pro-gmo, so I often run afoul of even my own allies. Anyway, if you hate poor people and you think their plight is all their fault, we probably will have a rough time maintaining common ground, but I'm not exclusionary, so have at!
Waffling over whether or not I want to move back to my motherland of Tulsa, OK.
I'm currently building something amazing. If it makes me rich, free tacos for everyone! Except Steve.
I also get into everything every which way but the front door.
I also fantasize sometimes about living in a tiny house next door to my hypothetical lover. Neighbor-lover. We can latch up our tiny houses and make a tiny courtyard between them, with a tiny fountain. Then there is togetherness with a respectable amount of privacy.
I'm oblivious to flirtation and innuendo. Example:
Her: Heyy, want to play? ;-)
Me: Sure! Play what? Do you like checkers?
Her: lol with whatever comes up
Me: So checkers?
That actually happened! Oh, life.
I'm also pretty rough around the edges. Uncouth, even, but not mean. I'm deaf, dumb, and blind to social graces, so I'll require a bit of taming when we hang out but I'm a total sweetheart and not likely to commit any meaningful transgression.
I don't know if I'm fit for romantic relationships. Introversion and ADD tends me towards the aloof on the tail end of long outings/conversations. I'm quite a loner, I'm distracted, and I disengage easily. I'd much prefer someone I can do good work with than a romance. I do sometimes worry that this means I will always be alone in some fashion, but good works have always felt more invigorating than the idea of romance. I can promise you kindness, patience, and respect, but my head and heart are always performing best when I have the opportunity to create or make a difference. I really hope I can one day be loved just as I am, though. Even if it is by someone who is also forever swept up in the arc of their own mallet. We can be distracted by good works together.
Also, I don't drive a car. I zoom around on a 250cc scooter and it rocks. Cars are complicated financially and mechanically and I like to keep things simple. But maybe I will get a truck and a dog once I arrive to the Portland area.
I'm a hugger, but I never know when to hug, primarily because I'm trying to respect everyone's physical autonomy. So, you know, come up with a codephrase, a secret handshake, or just hug me to let me know you'd like me to hug you back. I am open to all the hugs!
I'd like to spend my time with people who might just be as off the cuff, geeky, and intensely passionate as I am. Give me fervor, or resign me to a life of corporate accounts payable nina speaking, just a moment.
I'm really not looking for a romantic commitment. I'm slow, even timid to that kind of thing, and I'm focused on taking care of me these days. What I'm interested in, still being wanton for companionship and run-on sentences, is building deep connections with people who are interested in knowing me.
At any rate, I've always wanted to fall in love with someone I was intensely familiar with, so if love is to happen anywhere for me, I hope it would be in this way. But let's not approach friendship as just a waiting game for something else, okay?
Hi, I'm Nathan. And you just lost The Game.