I'm the guy who leans over and whispers something funny in your ear at inopportune moments so that you have to stifle your laughter. Then I laugh at you trying not to laugh.
I've been known to be ejected from mini golf courses for unsuccessfully sneaking minibottles of booze into fountain soda cups. It was an unjust rule, dammit!
I'm told I'm rough around the edges, but I like me. You'd probably like me too.
I know, this is the section where I'm supposed to tell you what I do for a living. But where's the fun in that? If you're really that interested in what my job is, here's a riddle to help you figure it out, message me with your answers:
Not very many people are allowed to do what I do.
Depending on where you stand, I'm a hero or a villain.
Everybody needs me, nobody wants me.
I'm not a medical doctor, but I'm always on call.
This riddle makes me sound like a drug dealer, but that's not it. Good guess, though! Keep trying!
Translating people to each other and to themselves.
Navigating through unfamiliar territory.
Predicting what's about to be said or done.
Noticing small details and pointing them out.
Making friends wherever I go.
As for TV... My favorite shows include, but are not limited to: Parks and Rec, The West Wing, Bob's Burgers, House of Cards, Orange Is The New Black, Firefly, Breaking Bad, Dinosaurs, An Idiot Abroad, Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown, Wilfred, Star Trek TNG and Voyager, Borgia, South Park, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and I always made a point of having people over for Game of Thrones viewings on Sunday nights.
I like all kinds of movies, but these are the movies I liked enough to buy on iTunes even though I own them on DVD: My Cousin Vinny, Whatever Works, Walk Hard, the LOTR trilogy, Gladiator, The Patriot, Django Unchained, Fight Club, Clash of the Titans (1981), Jason and the Argonauts (1963), Inglorious Basterds (2009), Tombstone, Hook, and The Princess Bride.
Particular electronic devices
Travel (not a "thing" exactly, but a noun; I think that counts)
Random things that I'd rather continue to ponder than to research on Google, like: "how do they split the peas for split pea soup?" Or "if the moon revolves around us, and we revolve around the sun, what is it that the sun revolves around?" Or, "I'm allergic to cats, they make me itchy; I wonder if petting a lion or tiger would make my hands itch too...?" Or, "why is there always a Denver-version of things?"
Those text bubbles keep popping up like you're gonna say something, you want to just tell me what's on your mind? No? Alright, whatever, I'm gonna go do something else. You figure it out and get back to me.
You know, normal Friday night type stuff.
...you think that an "argument" should be more like a discussion than a fight.
...you're comfortable talking about most anything.
...you see the humor in every situation, especially the bad ones.
...you're a strong, independent feminist and are capable of simultaneously being that AND talking about other things/not being so militant that you're no fun to hang out with.
...you get the feeling that I might be just your type of guy.
...you're one of the unicorns who is not too shy to send a guy an opening message.
We're all on here to meet new people, so if you think I might be the type of person you're looking to meet, write me! Let's talk. And if not, I wish you happy hunting and all the best.