34 Manhattan, United States
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My self-summary
What did the vegetarian zombie say?

I find the dichotomous nature of life amusing. In one respect, I am everything - beyond me there is nothing and the universe is contained within me; in another respect, I am absolutely nothing, not even a speck in comparison to the universe. Neither perspective is wrong, one just makes me value my life and the other keeps me humble.

I get paid to tell other people what you should be drinking, and telling other people how to serve those drinks. I have been newly appointed to a wine and liquor sales company, which means I am a corporate man now, of sorts - I work Monday through Friday, and I can actually plan my days and weekends now, which probably doesn't mean much to most but it means everything to me. Somebodies actually trust me enough to pay me to sell other people wine and spirits, and well I might add. It's an interesting gig, with all the free wine and liquor you can imagine as a perk. Dating me means never having to spend a dime on booze - let me know when you're officially smitten.

I enjoy irony. I'm more likely to laugh than cry. I think life is tragic and heart-wrenching, but kind of hilarious at the same time. I like to put my head down and take one step at a time when I'm working, but let it all hang out with my friends. I consider myself a good person and I think most everyone I know would consider me the same, but I'm aware of my failings too.

I think I might be human, but don't quote me on that. I think love is a noble pursuit and I envy those who've found it.
What I’m doing with my life
Just inherited my uncle's estate and fortune, which means I'm doing very well financially but dealing with a lot of work and being forced to fly out to LA frequently.

Singing, writing, working out, trying not to go on a murderous rampage.

One of those I'm kidding about - you guess which!
I’m really good at
Wasting time on meaningless pursuits and picking out cute sneakers - two mutually exclusive things.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm a smart-ass, more than likely.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Murakami, Garth Ennis, and Neil Gaiman.

The Road to Wellville. The Orphanage.

Otis Redding, The Beatles, Sam Cooke, Rilo Kiley/Jenny Lewis, Buena Vista Social Club, 2Pac, Tool, The Mars Volta, Wu-Tang, The Police, The Cure, Metric, MGMT, Placebo, Biggie, Snoop, The Pixies, OutKast, The Misfits, Depeche Mode, Denali, A Perfect Circle, Ray Charles, blahblahblah.

I like all different kinds, but I don't eat red meat and consistency is the end-all of what I can and can't eat. Dim-sum may be the grossest dining experience ever created... squishy and rubbery, eww.
The six things I could never do without
Soda water, coconut water, Yerba Mate, Kombucha, smoothies with protein, and whiskey/beer.

Food I can take or leave, but drink is where it's at. "What the fuck is juice?!?"
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Lately I think a lot about what I'm doing/will be doing with my life, the moral and logistical ramifications of eating meat, and what I should be saving up towards.
On a typical Friday night I am
If you can tell me what the outro lyrics are to ATHF are, and why they're there, I'll basically love you.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I listen to jazz and read classic literature to fall asleep, every night.

When I was younger I was kneed in the balls so hard I had to go the hospital. While being examined by the doctor, my mother came over and told me some residents wanted to examine me as well - she explained that while she understood that I was embarrassed, this provided an important chance at real-world experience for the doctors-in-training.

I begrudgingly acquiesced, fully expecting two male twenty-somethings (accompanying skin conditions probable), and what I got were two Hollywood-hot female residents... two hot women examining my now hastily retreating penis and testicles.

Two lessons learned that day: I should never give way mentally to thinking along sexual norms, and I should never under any circumstance listen to my mother.
You should message me if
If you don't know the difference between your, you're, or use "ur" in a completely non-ironic way, you probably shouldn't message me. Same applies to their, there and they're. Please know the difference - sincerely.

I like people who "get it." I think life might be a cosmic joke, but if they're laughing at us I want to laugh right back. Forgive the histrionics, but I honestly can't stand people who don't know how to have a good time. I look to make the best out of situations and I appreciate others who do the same.