46Maryville, United States
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My self-summary
The fruit of morality cannot bloom from a rigid foundation of adherence to any litany of inherited codes, but instead thrusts itself into being from the ground of desperate deference to create new outgrowth that parades hope for symbiotic survival.

That's not very romantic, is it? So go away. I'm not interested in dating. You see, I honor being female in ways most do not, so don't even try to try to make sense of me on your own. Bug off. And I talk a lot, too, being happily female and all. Just backspace your way out of here. I'm actually far away in martyrdom right now, so pretend I'm dead already. Scram. I've had such a pathetic life that by now I'm contagious--community's scapegoat. So don't take another step forward, I'm warning you! Vamoose! The die has been cast for me to play a maddening role within the side-pocket of one of many secret, sacred, underground passages riddled with both soul-savoring and soul-saving experiences (e.g., click here), so I'm simply too much for most people to handle, and I do so very much need to be handled with care. So scat. I'm a constant source of radiating pain--decidedly dangerous, but good. So skedaddle already, 'cause "When a good [hu]man is hurt, all who would be called good must suffer with him [or her]" (~Euripides). So shoo. Grrrrrr. You've got no business reading on, and yet you still are. Geez, you never did listen to Euripides very well. Then again, neither did I.

Sigh. Well, if you insist on staying, you might as well make yourself cozy, as this may take a while. Feel free to help yourself to this sample of my self-summary background music. But if you prefer instrumental music, I am also this violin. Or, if you're tone-deaf yet have the stomach to digest a bit of Christian meat, perhaps you instead would prefer clicking here. (Bummer, it looks like Christian meat is no longer allowed around here, so you've got to pick from the other ones instead.) There...All set?
When I first joined okcupid, I was strictly seeking a romantic partner, but changing circumstances have since created something of a power vacuum around me that makes the formation of a healthy love relationship highly unlikely. Since I can't yet know how my problems will work out I’m only intending to keep up with pen pals and make new friends on this site, and sometimes I’m not able to check my messages for months at a time due to surgeries and stuff. So even though I’m largely unavailable and may keep you waiting, all special requests will be taken into consideration (eventually) and hopefully I’ve included enough below to keep you busy in the meantime:

I’m a down to earth conversationalist with a pinch of panache who delights in the small things life has to offer and takes time to develop relationships based on mutual respect. Friends have described me as trustworthy, playful, truthful, compassionate, and brave. I get great satisfaction out of helping others and am known to go the extra mile to ensure they can get their needs met, but I try to tend to my own needs first so that I can continue being an effective force in people’s lives. I’ve overcome a mountain of challenges with a courageous spirit and continue to work on developing a strong character marked by integrity, tenacity, and a level of honesty that sometimes deals with brutal truths and challenges existing norms. I‘m an emotionally attuned and analytical thinker, and although I can adapt to most any situation, I’m increasingly not inclined to do so. I'm also quite comfortable with healthy emotional expressions, including anger and sadness. I’m an eNFp lady of substance seeking ...

...a synergistic relationship with a like-minded man who likes sharing stories of life's ups and downs, believes in bonding through friendship before engaging in physical affections, enjoys dealing with the ever-shifting trials of teens, and intrinsically wants to support me in my efforts to help others heal and thrive. Rather than putting stock in appearances, I'm attracted to the man more concerned with a woman's character and spirit enough to feel at home with my intuitive spontaneity. Ideally, he is somewhat older than me, has been a father, and has gone through his own share of low times himself, but still retains a determined attitude and is open to seeing other points of view. Success is important to him, but it doesn’t take priority over family, friends, and time to himself. He should consider himself a father to all the world’s children in some ways, and through this impulse can complement my own sense of duty regarding motherhood. (Public Service Announcement: Please supplant any current notions of maternal support that resemble this with support that looks more like this [except for the parts with the lady in the bathtub--she's a little iffy]. Moms everywhere thank you!) If he’s knowledgeable and inquisitive, appreciative of art and creativity, and able to laugh at my slightly "adorkable" side (my daughter's terminology), all the better.

Collaboration trumps compromise in my book. I'm a firm believer that couples need to feel free to express themselves, to really listen to each other, and to know they've each been heard. Occasional arguments, so long as they're based on establishing values and beliefs and are imbued with mutual respect, can ultimately strengthen the relationship and keep both parties focusing on what is most important individually and collectively. Without clear, honest communication, much of the relationship would be a guessing game, and no matter how empathic, psychic, and understanding a woman may seem to be, a vital love relationship cannot expect to grow well from a guessing game foundation. Only through communicating explicitly can others really know what we think, feel, desire, and need. So as it turns out, G. I. Joe was right after all: Knowing IS half the battle! (This is but one example of my slightly adorkable side.)

I'm a huge fan of Eleanor Roosevelt and Dorothy Day and hope to find someone who likewise appreciates my desire to make the world a better place in small ways throughout the day. It doesn't always need to be a strenuous or time-consuming affair; simply plant serendipity wherever you find a pre-dug hole: Hand a girl a flower with a warm smile--she'll remember it always. Visit the sick and elderly and share your triumphs and woes so they will know they are still useful, if only in their ability to pray for you and comfort you, which very well may prove to be the greatest gift of all. Pick up roadside litter. Tidy a waiting room. Jingle keys at a crying baby, and ask directions from the stranger who seems the loneliest. Drop pennies randomly, making sure they fall heads-up for unsuspecting wayfarers, or visit a soda machine and place a quarter in its return slot. Wave to oncoming traffic. Bark at a daydreaming dog. Look them in the eye, but see into their hearts. Give. Take. Embrace life and wonder.
What I’m doing with my life
I probably shouldn't be here.

It typically feels like this is what I've done with most of my time here.

I also post short clips like this on my teens' facebook
pages to get maternal credit and revenge. My teens think I probably shouldn't be there either.

Although my background includes grief and loss counseling and teaching adolescents about stress management, mental illness, and suicide prevention, right now I've stumbled into needing to be something of a (very ineffective) whistleblower (and thus social outcast) by exposing unmet needs within local professional care services for mothers and children grappling with physical, sexual, emotional, and social abuse issues and the ongoing professional neglect of increasing perpetration opportunities fueled by poorly integrated professional services, fraud and deceit, sexism, and a marked lack of involvement from male leaders in our local churches. This of course is causing all sorts of trouble for me career-wise, community-wise, parenting-wise, income-wise, everything-I-used-to-be-invited-to-participate-in-wise. Since the backlash is continuing to escalate to the point that continuing my work here may actually be a matter of life and death for me, I suppose it’s a given that there are some powerful people in my community who don’t think I should be here either.

(Ready to hear something new? I keep wavering among all of these, so feel free to just click on your favorite number:

Mystery Mood #1
Mystery Mood #2
Mystery Mood #3
Mystery Mood #4
Mystery Mood #5
Mystery Mood #6
Mystery Mood #7
Mystery Mood #8
Mystery Mood #9
Mystery Mood #0)

So what I’m trying to do with my life now (by necessity’s flair of doling out default responses) is to seek ways to present my findings to a few concerned local Christian men (They simply must be out there somewhere!), and if they feel so called after looking through my written evidence and hearing witness testimonies, invite them to speak as advocates defending the rights of women and children at our local Voices for Children Cultural and Linguistic Competency Committee. I know all this sounds strange (because as it turns out, Mark Twain was right after all, too: Truth really IS stranger than fiction!), but I didn’t get to choose this particular battle, and I don't realistically have a foreseeable chance of ever getting back on my feet without the aid of concerned male volunteer speakers (especially now that I have an audiotaped message and witnesses to help demonstrate that my voice in this area has been silenced within local church leadership). So for the time being I’m keeping up the good fight and crossing my fingers as I say my (last?) prayers despite what most of us seem to think I should be doing with my life, thankyouverymuch.
I’m really good at
Empathy and self-awareness have to take the lead, but I'm also good at understanding abstract concepts (particularly involving people with sets of diverse motives, not mathematical concepts) and the dynamics of relationships among them as they distance themselves from another, collide, and find complementary balance in their unions or temporary peace treaties. I’ve got the gift of making people feel comfortable pretty much down to an art form, which I try to use sparingly and selectively these days, being more interested in challenging their soul's vision and sense of duty to expand their energies in new and meaningful directions, which of course makes them fairly uncomfortable. I used to ace every class back in the day (except Algebra II), and I’m also a fairly creative and flexible thinker (except, of course, when it comes to Algebra II). I'm trying to learn how to be less nice in ultimately good ways, but when I think I may be getting good at that, typically people have scrammed, skedaddled, vamoosed, or otherwise backspaced themselves away from further discussion that would provide the means for them to tell me what a good job I did at not being nice to them. So that's a tricky one for me to judge on my own like that. :)

E.g., three to four parts of this-ish to one part of this-ish, which usually leaves an aftertaste much like this, eventually. :\
The first things people usually notice about me
People usually seem to find me approachable, friendly, attractive and deep-yet-absent-minded. I’m an old soul with a hyperactive mind/body/spirit, teenage-like tendencies, and missing teeth, so naturally people also seem somewhat intrigued and fearful. After a while they typically seem to categorize me as either smart or crazy. (Darn that human tendency to compartmentalize! Why can't I be all three?)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I'm not sure I have particular authors whose collective works stand out above the others as a whole (well--Tolstoy--but I never finish his), but I can certainly name off a few pieces that stand out from the crowd: As I Lay Dying, A Doll's House, The Bible, Freakonomics, A Good Man is Hard to Find, The Grapes of Wrath, The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, Hedda Gabler , Horton Hears a Who, The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat, Much Ado About Nothing, The Prophet, Tao Te Ching, Teaching a Stone to Talk, The Tipping Point, This Poem, Where the Wild Things Are, and The Yellow Wallpaper. An insightful essay recently written by my daughter (you go, girl!) helped me conclude that one of my least favorite books is To Kill a Mockingbird. But I don't read so much these days as I used to, so maybe visual literature will serve as a better gauge:

Movies we might have in common: 2:37, A. I. (Artificial Intelligence), Apocalypto, Anywhere USA., Braveheart, Cast Away, The Century of the Self, Crash, Deliverance, Equus, Freedom Writers, Glory, Harold and Maude, The Hiding Place, The Hours, The Hurricane, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, The Insider, John Q., Lean on Me, Les Miserables, Million Dollar Baby, The Nanny, Nell, North Country, The Orphanage, Othello, Pay it Forward, Persepolis , The Pursuit of Happyness, Rudy, Scent of a Woman, The Shawshank Redemption, What Dreams May Come, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?, and Wind Talkers. As for TV favorites: The Office, House, Columbo, Law and Order, Scientific American, The Twilight Zone, Nova, and POV.

I’m not usually that picky about food, but for what it’s worth, some of my favorites here include: crab ragoon, sea scallops, snow crab, chicken alfredo, melted cheese on just about anything, spinach maria, asparagus, avocadoes, mushrooms, cheesecake, chocolate truffles, and an occasional Reeses Cup or two (but you'll have to get to know me better before I reveal all the ways I eat them).

Music? Hmmm...I haven't focused on music as much as I should, but I've made some progress here. I gotta confess that Yanni has helped me buckle down through more assignments than any Mozart allegro or stormy soundscape, though I seldom listen to him anymore. I still have a penchant for Andrew Lloyd Webber, Leonard Cohen, Joni Mitchell, and Nina Simone, but most are particular song selections rather than their founding artists. Feel free to click heartily:American Pie, Anticipation, Bohemian Rhapsody, Doll On a Music Box, Exploring the Blue, Favorite Color (“Joan Anderson”), If it be Your Will, Lay Lady Lay, A Lover’s Concerto, Miss Celie’s Blues (Vega), MISSISSIPPI GODDAMN, Music of the Night, One More Kiss, Dear, Pie Jesu, The Pretender, SINGLE GIRL'S LOVE SONG, Sisters of Mercy, Sixteen Tons, Smells Like Teen Spirit, Strange Fruit, Testimony (Ferron), Thank You (Morrisette), Up a Lazy River (Lee), Waters of March, When You Smile (Bassey), Your Brains, and You’ve Got a Friend.
Six things I could never do without
The major things I need in Life could be fairly well translated into Serendipity and whatever you call the overriding force that keeps echoing this internal call. And that's really all I NEED.

Am I allowed to list milk-chocolate truffles as the last four? Well, hey, it's MY profile, so I hereby decree that I can, so I do. Really big ones. No, three really big truffles, and a really big glass of milk.

Yeah, that’ll do. It’s nice to be asked--what a cool question!
Do I get three wishes, too?


“O hear Ye, hear Ye, O Mighty OKC Genie, I humbly beseech Your imminent presence! I, Multum_In_Parvo, your long-devoted OKC subscriber, do hereby officially wish that all future incoming OKC messages with content including or resembling statements like “Ur pix r sexy. How u doin?” be hereby forever replaced with colorful, energy inspiring, personally relevant, and supportive content that contains information clearly showing that correspondents have actually read my profile instead of merely scanning through my photos. I thank you most indefatigably for your effort in this matter, O Great OKC Genie, and if the radiance of your lamp should ever require a rejuvenating rub-down, I hope (not wish, but hope) You will not hesitate to call on me personally so that I may better demonstrate my deep appreciation for You through the opportunity of reciprocity You find within Your great power to bestow upon me, Multum_In_Parvo, Your everlasting OKC follower.”

(Check back later for assessment results.)

UPDATE: It really does seem to work! Especially when photos are removed. There's something to this OKC Genie thing, people...
I spend a lot of time thinking about
activism, capabilities, Cassandras of today, character analyses, Christ vs. Christian vs. Christianity, community organizing, complacency vs. ignorance vs. innocence, enthalpy, the Force, Freedom Riders, Freedom Writers, good God=good Grief, handwriting analysis, how to access the internet and avoid homelessness, lilies of the field, (Mad Hatter + Alice) vs. Red Queen Hypothesis, (maternal rage + Hecuba) vs. (maternal rage + Dorothy Day), non-networking in the nonprofit sector, Martha Nussbaum's contributions (8 minute overview, 30 minute poli-lit discussion), mental health, otter spirit, painting, philosophy, play, psychology, quality vs. quantity, reason's folly, sexism, silence's rejection, social justice, stilettos, symbolism, teens, trauma recovery, value systems, weeble-wobbles, wildcrafting, why churches don't sing hymns like this, writing, Zimbardo's psycho-social scholarship (1.5 hrs.) and applications (5 min.).
On a typical Friday night I am
As able, I might be taking okcupid tests and analyzing personality traits; pruning my OKC profile; watching movies or YouTube clips; painting; wrestling with futility to create an ever-elusive plan to serve my life's inveterate purpose; catching up on emails, letters, and phone calls; procrastinating on all this writing I should be doing but never do; wishing I could form a national parenting union or gain refugee status; writing down intoxicating notions on little slips of paper I will likely never find again; redecorating (Wanna see my son's latest gift of appreciation in honor of my recent living room alterations?); play-fighting with my dog, with God, or with the teen that is in the best mood to tolerate my transgressions; wondering how I could more readily be seen as a mindful soul within my idiosyncratic personal-socio-cultural context while avoiding any Barbie-Dollish stereotyping; staring into space while imagining a new project or fine-tuning an old one; or getting frustrated at the fact that no matter how much I draw diagrams, circle, underline, mosquito-mark, or write out loud in the margins of a book, the writer never seems to even notice me or straight-forwardly address my many introjections and questions.
(How rude!)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Sometimes I play dumb either to make people feel better or to attempt to promote humility and vulnerability in a conversation when I believe it can lead to positive synergy. Of course, sometimes I pretend to understand what people are talking about so I can stall long enough to try to catch on to their point, which potentially would make us both feel better. It usually works! (When it doesn't, I typically revert to a genuine promotion of humility and vulnerability by admitting that I simply don't get it, need more clarification, or got distracted because the subject matter led me to such an amusing [though perhaps contextually unrelated] thought.) So...yeah, I just might do that to you, and yet you can never really be sure which it is I'm doing.
But I can.

:) <---(Grinning Cheshire Cat)
You should message me if can give a hand (or raise a teacup) to this and are okay with the fact that I may not be in a position to respond to every message that comes my way since my thoughts are often stretching in multiple directions, and it's only afterwards that I notice I got distrac

ATTENTION: Any person and/or institution using this website or any of its associated websites, you do NOT have my permission to utilize any of my profile information nor any of the content contained herein including but not limited to my photos. You are hereby notified that you are strictly prohibited from disclosing, copying, distributing, disseminating, or taking any other action with regard to this profile and the contents herein. The foregoing prohibitions also apply to your employee(s), agent(s), student(s) or any personnel under your direction or control. The contents of this profile are private and legally privileged and confidential information. Violation of my personal privacy is punishable by law. Unless, of course, you ask otherwise and I give you permission—in writing, of course. :)

. . . Hey, it's finished already. The show's over. . . Look, there's nothing left to see here, so . . . Okay. You've stuck with me this long, so I guess you’ve earned a better send-off. That's it! Thanks for stopping by! Cruise carefully! Best wishes on your quest! :)

Still here?

Now that's just creepy.

Hey, are you that same creepy guy who was here last Tuesday?
I thought I might see you here again, and I've been saving this one especially for you and your buddies.

The two of us