50San Francisco, United States
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My self-summary
Life is good. I love sharing good things with other people.

I had just begun to settle in San Francisco five years ago, before my mother's decline brought me to Colorado. At the end, I did her hospice, ferrying her, as my friend Jeanne put it, to the other side.

Since then I've been hanging out mostly in Boulder, because for a long time it was just easier, and also because I was obsessed with writing a book to fill the mom-sized hole in the world anyway. And it's done at last. It's good. Really good. My profile has a lot of information, but there's a lot more, on me and what I think matters, at (no charge for the book itself, but you will want to buy an entire box of Kleenex). Now I'm ready for what may be a return to San Francisco, unless some other strong force - a relationship or career opportunity - points elsewhere.

I've never really enjoyed dating as much as I've looked forward to meeting my dearest friend. Sometimes I can imagine what it would feel like if you were around. And for reasons related to taking care of Mom, I am traveling light, highly mobile, and highly motivated. I'm not at all tied to Boulder, and in fact think my destiny lies in a bigger city, on a coast . . .

The Dude Does Not Abide. I am probably not someone you'd call chill and laid-back. I've been told I seem calm and unflappable, but also that I have crackling energy. I have the heart of an artist and entrepreneur, and the left brain, let's say, of a lawyer who was fortunate to get first-class training in critical thinking at a great law school. In sports involving implements I'm an abomination. Did my growing up in Germany, Alabama, and small-town Colorado, but have an East Coast sensibility. A quick mind and tongue, but an intention as gentle as the Buddha's. I revere irreverence.

Power of Now.I am utterly present to a woman and the poetry of her body -- in conversation, in flagrante delicto, or in silence. I'm learning every day what it really means to pay attention, and what the power of now can do for a relationship.

Yearn. I've traveled to all but one state and to 38 countries, my favorites many times. I could imagine living with you at least part of the year abroad, living a creative and loving and generous life among like-minded sorts, near natural settings within 30 minutes from real skiing.

Heart. I'm curious. As a teenager I identified with Don Juan's classic riff: "For me there is only the traveling on paths that have a heart, or on any path that may have heart. There I travel… and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length.

"And there I travel looking, looking, breathlessly."

The picture of me that you like most is the one I look most like.

You are passionate, confident, open, funny, expressive, active, awake. Curious about the world and everything in it, you're always learning. Maybe you consume books like chocolate, like cotton candy, like chocolate. You have your own life, your own power, and are happy being independent. Your key lessons are largely known to you. You intend to enter into a mutually conscious, ever-growing, fearlessly searching relationship. You are that wonderful combination of smart and kind; you're warm and nurturing to all. Probably you have a real soft spot for animals. You're slenderish (not skinny) and toned and have great legs. You can imagine liking a man picking out flattering clothes for you, with or without your presence. You can email me a scan of an embossed certificate attesting to the absence of major personality disorders.
What I’m doing with my life
In 2011, my mom and I walked across Spain together on the Camino de Santiago, and we kept a blog we called Camino Not Chemo). The travelogue of the trip was well-received, but what really overwhelmed me was how people thanked me for writing, as well, of our last weeks together.

So I've fulfilled my promise to my mom and finished the book so Meryl Streep can play her in the movie, like I also promised her :) It's my proudest achievement and it's looking for more pre-publication readers like you at
I’m really good at
Strategy, according to the StrengthsFinder
Asking questions. Getting at what matters
Driving a stickshift. In my M3. On curvy mountain roads. While you sort of adorably clutch at the handle on the roof.
Skiing with abandon
Cultivating compassion

Not so good at:

Sports involving implements
Holding my tongue
Relationships involving assumptions
The first things people usually notice about me
In approximate order:

• my profile, since the Internets
• "You look like a WASP." (The cross I bear, but I do carry trace amounts of blood from Cherokee, Blackfoot, Redneck, and Hebrew tribes)
• "airline pilot's voice"
• lot of fine hair
• dent in nose
• Eyelashes long enough to paint with
• Butt is too hard (my rolfer)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
The Spiritual Discipline of Karaoke I listen to most genres of music, but especially the music I love to sing and dance to. My playlist Songs in the Key of Speeding Tickets skis well: I ski like Jack White plays guitar. In singing I have been mostly a rocker, and all tenor: Heartbreak Hotel and Jailhouse Rock, Johnny B. Goode and Roll Over Beethoven, Jumpin Jack Flash and Sympathy for the Devil, Brown-Eyed Girl and Papa Was a Rollin Stone, How You Like Me Now and Too Close - and yet: Empire State of Mind, Folsom Prison Blues, What'd I Say (Parts 1 & 2), and Seven Nation Army. And lately I've been tackling the great soul singers. Video available for nice people ...

Some literary masters: Beckett (the Trilogy, the plays), Hemingway (the short stories), Garcia Marquez (the novels), Milan Kundera (his literary criticism), the critic Harold Bloom (whose central thesis of an agon among writers, not to mention prophets and religion-makers, has greatly influenced me), Donald Barthelme and Witold Gombrowicz (both wonderfully strange), Kafka, Twain ("Huckleberry Finn," because if you're going to write one book, maybe that should be it), George Saunders, David Mitchell ("Cloud Atlas" - genius), Cormac McCarthy (masterful "Blood Meridian" - high genius).

I love Italian, Thai, Indian, pho. German dishes are comfort food, especially with so many of my German relatives, and Mom, now gone. I prefer to take my Italian in Italy. Went to the epic Dolomites in August :)
Six things I could never do without
Electronics. Because here's why.
Chocolate or cookies with chocolate in them. Yoga. (Sometimes together).
Your delectable legs. Mountains (sometimes together).
Music for to dance and sing
I spend a lot of time thinking about
what you are like

my manuscripts

why so many of you think you are "dichotomies"

the unbearable lightness of being
On a typical Friday night I am
. . . in my abode, nice lighting, music playing, writing, or maybe watching a movie, but in any case enjoying the occasional old friend passing through town, with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

. . . destroying a karaoke stage somewhere in Shanghai, Koreatown, Brooklyn, Telluride, Boulder, Denver, Ventura, Santa Barbara, Malta
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I sing a good deal. Not for a living. In my morning shower, in my car, at karaoke, in your car, in your shower, maybe in that order. I used to like to make people do this at the Bohemian Biergarten ( but I've slowed it down a bit: (Mom's song, Unchained Melody).
You should message me if
. . . you don't mind that I dance like this.

. . . you imagine we could be real friends even if we never decide to date - and especially if we do.

I am a lot less likely to reach out or respond if you don't have good clear pictures of yourself, including a realistic idea of your body below the head or even chest. (Some profiles have 24 photos -- all of them selfies). I know what I'm attracted to, I don't judge the rest, and I don't want your time wasted or mine. So I'd like to see your eyes, your smile, and what you look like while standing next to everyday objects like mountains and wine goblets, bicycles and pencils.
The two of us