I'm not fucked up; nor am I looking for a quick fuck. If you're the type to fuck on; then fuck off now please. On the surface I'm a lanky, floppy haired, 24 year old who works two jobs and drinks like a fish. Beneath the surface is a bit more on offer to anyone who makes the effort. Getting the label shit out of the way first. I'm polyamorous and it's not a thing. I'm bisexual. I have PTSD and adult ADHD.
I have a sense for the ridiculous and anything out of the ordinary. My humour is dark but not cruel and I'm the first one in a group to defend anyone being teased unfairly. I'm passionate about my friends and lovers. I have acquired a reputation for being ' a spy' as I lead a perfectly ordinary lifestyle, working an ordinary mundane job which doesn't fit how people perceive me and I've been known to do the strangest things abroad.
I cohabit a flat in North Newcastle with my awesome Life Partner; the total legend that is the TheAly. I capitalised Life Partner deliberately as I'm happier in myself now than I've ever been and I say this without hyperbole. She is my chosen soul mate and gets me on a level that no one else has ever succeeded at; more than a 'girlfriend' could ever be hence why I never intend to label her as such. This would be a disservice to how much she means to me. I am totally committed to my partner and despite always looking for new friends and maybe more; my life partner will always be my priority and I am not willing to let anything jeopardise this.
I currently work in a local shop for local people 26 hours a week as a supervisor leading a group of local people who serve local types. My job is mundane and very typical of the canon fodder that me and every other 20 something graduate represents.
Thrice a week I teach Tae Kwon Do and street self defence (possibly where my reputation as a spy comes from). I run my own club in East Newcastle and use it as a way of maintaining my sanity alongside my local job.
Learning Russian as I like to learn basics of languages. I can't ever call myself a linguist of any sort as I only speak English but I have a basic grasping of conversational Russian and Urdu. Enough at least to flirt with attractive locals, cross borders illegally and advise mothers how to prevent their child developing Kwashiorkor Disease.
Cooking to people's dietary restrictions according to my other half :) I love to cook. Like with learning other languages I wouldn't ever feel happy to big myself up beyond saying that it's a hobby but going by feedback alone I am good at cooking Mexican in particular.
Organising large scale board game events. There I said it!
My sex life. Call me shallow but it's a fact that I don't bull shit about.
Nachos. These are my special comfort food that probably do more for curing my depression than my antidepressants ;-)
Real Ale!!! :D
Close friends. Not just people you can chat to but people that you can really let your hair down around and make a twat of yourself in front of without fear of being judged.
Board Games ^_________^
Who else can you meet who has disturbing anecdotes about being spiked on LSD in Phnom Penh and being convinced that they're responsible for the Khmer Rouge genocide of 1975?
Or ridiculous tales about throwing the least successful orgy County Durham has ever witnessed?
Or my charming idyllic childhood years thinking fireworks were boring and needed to be dipped in petrol?
Or crossing the Cambodian border illegally with the help of a 'launderette service' *cough* gang mob *cough* and a Siberian nudist?
Or being thrown out of Ho Chi Minh's Mausoleum at gun point due to an overexcited Japanese tourist who befriended me?
Or stitching my own foot up with the aid of Polski vodka and good company after foolishly dive bombing into Vietnamese coral reefs?
Or my revolting act of vengeance where I asked myself "what would happen if I defecated in someone's kettle?"
-Non gender binary people;
-Long haired lanky men with a crude sense of humour.
Feel free to message me if you're comfortable with all of the above to at least varying degrees.
Aside from that feel free to message me:
-If you fancy a chat as I can talk the arse end of a donkey.
-You find me at least a little bit attractive.
-You enjoy eating nachos and appreciate real ale.
-We live near and you fancy doing a coffee just for the hell of it as good caffeine and good company are my staples.