37Los Angeles, United States
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My self-summary
First let me admit to the stigma and irony of putting a douchey "flexibility shot" as my default pic, as it contrasts with my actual personality... but as my experience has shown, sex sells, and that's what you dirty minded women click on... shame on you... ;)

I'm an East Coast implant who decided to move out to LA to take a stab at this whole "hired assassin" thing. I grew up on the cut throat streets of suburban CT, so I'll apologize in advance if I come across too thuggish...
What I’m doing with my life
Writing is what I'm in LA for... mostly animated comedy... and specifically THAT because I can also draw/animate little cartoons that jump around and say bad things.
Hard at work animating from home at the moment, but I split my time working as a personal trainer. It's become a labor of love as I actually like helping people reach their goals. So I suppose at the very least, if you get stuck with me, you'll end up in really really good shape :)
I worked in mortgage back in the day... office desk life is terrible for my sanity.
I’m really good at
Eating, primarily... but also:
Anything to do with fitness
Cooking on my Ronco Rotisserie Oven
Finding practical solutions to otherwise impractical problems
Taking Christmas pictures
More to come as I think of them, but I'm doing my best to be modest
The first things people usually notice about me
I guess flexibility would be the obvious answer. But otherwise...

I'm extremely competitive... which is generally a good thing, but I have to keep that in check since it tends to get out of hand.
That said, a good way to get me to do something is simply telling me that "I don't think you can!"
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I'm a reading MACHINE now that I've declared it to be cool to read on your iPhone.
Yes I've read all the Harry Potters and Hunger Games and Game of Thrones. Judge as you will...
Currently reading a lot of Dawkins, Harris, Hitchens, and Dennett. If you're familiar with those then that's a HUGE plus.
I'm also hooked on the Walking Dead graphic novels. And on THAT note...
I like mostly horror movies, they're just fun to watch... and sometimes recreate (looking at you, Saw franchise!)
I get bored easily, so I won't say I have any "favorites" that I can just keep watching... although Troll 2 is pretty solid.
Same goes for music. I love all several thousand songs on my iPhone, but when I'm actually listening to it I only like about 20 of them. I lean towards hard rock since that's my favorite workout genre. But lately I'm getting sucked into the metal-electronica niche.
My food list is damn near endless. I'm a hardcore carnivore so ribs, steak, and hot wings are right up there.
Six things I could never do without
Meat (Brazilian Steakhouses)
Friends (the good ones... not those other ones)
iPhone (App addict)
and of course a great woman (too mushy?)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
how to make the situation funnier...
And also cupcakes...

How long does it take a giraffe to throw up?
And do you think butterflies have low self esteem since they were such ugly children?
On a typical Friday night I am
WAY too tired to do anything... that said, let me sip on some Monster energy drink and you can probably talk me into it.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I own footie pajamas and sometimes wear them when it's cold... or out to the bar.

I've recently gone back to drinking chocolate syrup straight from the bottle.

I eat 8x8s at In n' Out
You should message me if
You're competitive, ambitious, can take a joke, and don't have a princess complex. I love someone who can bust my chops but doesn't flinch when I bust them back. General rationality and common sense are great attributes. If you can make me laugh consistently, you've pretty much got the job.
The two of us