29London, United Kingdom
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My self-summary
Hi, I'm Nick. I'm a professional musician, I like keeping fit (gym/jogging/cycling/racquet sports - especially tennis), going to gigs, travel, and occasionally getting inadvisably drunk.

I recently read that this is the world's funniest joke:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

Let me know if you agree, or if you have a funnier joke.
What I’m doing with my life
I earn my keep by teaching guitar (bass at a school, and electric/acoustic and ukulele privately), and doing occasional session work and song writing. Otherwise, I recently passed my second Grade 8 exam as well as playing in my current band, Uberkill ( if you're interested and I didn't write any of the lyrics by the way). I'm also writing and recording my own stuff and am looking to start another band to play this live. If you behave, I'll write you a song.
I’m really good at
I have a pretty good evil laugh (I'm working on an evil plan to give it some context).

Making cheesecake and scrambled eggs.

I know the capital city of pretty much every country in the world and am great at the US states game.

Quoting comedy shows and comedians.

Arm wrestling.

Dancing (judge for yourself though).
The first things people usually notice about me
I've had two main celebrity comparisons. More flatteringly, I've been frequently likened to a young James Spader.

Less flatteringly, I've been told that I'm a dead ringer for James Holmes, the guy who shot all those people during the Batman film in Colorado.

What celebrity comparisons have you had?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Music: Dream Theater, Alt-J, Porcupine Tree, Arctic Monkeys ACDC, Chvrches,, Chimp Spanner, Thank You Scientist, Arcane Roots, Jimi Hendrix, System of a Down, Metallica, Led Zeppelin, Rage Against the Machine, Tool, Van Halen, Steve Vai and Joe Satriani to name but a few.

Books: To Kill a Mockingbird, all Orwell, all Hosseini, all Murakami, some William Boyd, most Coetzee, etc. Complemented by spy and crime thrillers and fact. I've read Guns, Germs and Steel three times. I'm hoping to get my head round it on the fourth. If you take your literature seriously, I heartily recommend buying any Dean Koontz novel from the £1 Asda book section, pick up some booze whilst there, and spend the evening with some like-minded friends reading passages to each other. If there is a funnier way to socialise, I'd like to hear it.

Films: The Third Man, Apocalypse Now, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, This is Spinal Tap, Forest Gump, A Prophet, Baader Meinhof Complex, Taxi Driver, La Haine, The Rec Series, Almodovar, Besson, etc. I most recently paid to see 12 Years a Slave, which was excellent. I most recently went to see a test screening of a film called Pressure. For pity's sake, I implore you not to spend money on it when it comes out.

TV: Many, many BBC comedies, notably The Office, anything Partridge and Blackadder, but the list is seemingly endless. Otherwise, Peep Show (anything Mitchell and Webb), IT Crowd, Black Books (anything with Dylan Moran basically), The Inbetweeners, Breaking Bad and Homeland (just started getting into US box sets, got a few to go).

I like most types of food, but it's hard to top a gourmet burger from the Covent Garden Grill. I have two foibles when it comes to food. I don't eat fruit in its natural state (I can never get on with the texture) but I like the flavour of most fruits and drink a lot of smoothies to make up for it. I also don't eat birds and especially dislike chicken (I'll eat it if I have to but try and avoid it).

I'm always looking for new bands/books/films/meals etc. so if there is one of these you couldn't live without, do share.
Six things I could never do without
I'm assuming we're not supposed to take this question too literally and say things like food, water, clothing, shelter, medicine and a sense of belonging and purpose so I'll say my guitar, my laptop, my tennis racket, my books, the Tube and (last but not least) my friends and family.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I'm a bit of a liberal lefty (justifiably I think) and think a lot about how I'd make the world a better place. I also often have a song on the brain or am writing a song in my head. I like thinking about how different fictional characters would act if they met each other, such as Benedict Cumberbatch's Sherlock Holmes and Jonathan Creek, or Sheldon Cooper and Cliff Clavin from Cheers.
On a typical Friday night I am
There isn't really a typical night. I like a good night out with drinks and dancing. I went to university in Brighton and still have a lot of friends there so I often go down and relive the old times. I also like a good gig: anything from an acoustic open mic night to a full on metal gig. In fact, I may well be playing a gig myself with my band nowadays. I'm happy to stay in and watch a film or two with a take away and I like a good restaurant meal.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
The reason I don't like chicken, or indeed most birds, is that I was attacked by chickens when I was two. I have no memory of this but now anything with wings and a beak makes me nervous. Apparently it's called alektorophobia. If we meet, watch me as we walk down the street and come across a pigeon. I promise you will crease yourself laughing. However, other than this, I'm very manly and will open any jam jar you put in front of me.
You should message me if
You like your music, like to keep active and have a good (slightly dark and dirty) sense of humour.

Also if you find this and this funny. I'm basically a more grounded version of him.
The two of us