33 Chattanooga, United States
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My self-summary
Not everyone's cup of tea. Just trying to find my saucer. Let's keep the pinky-pops to a minimum.

Apparently I've answered / skipped all the questions on here. I feel like I've reached the end of the internet...

I do like to joke around and am rather sarcastic, so you can't take everything I say seriously.

I'm also pretty nerdy. If you have Steam you should add me. I'm always looking for new friends.
What I’m doing with my life
Blazing a trail at a Fortune 500 company and working the cube life. I wish work was more like The Office...

Not meeting interesting people on the internet.
I’m really good at
Being a jerk, or not being a jerk.

Reading for comprehension (and sometimes between the lines).

Using parentheses (I'm just OK at this).
The first things people usually notice about me
If there was ever such an egotistical question guided by self disillusion...

But, I'm sure its that I'm Caucasian.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Stuff n' things.

The Gashlycrumb Tinies by Edward Gorey. Check it out.
The six things I could never do without
Coffee (milk only)
Glasses (or contacts)
Fiber internet (this is optional)
Showers (not baths)
Stimulus (good or bad)
A weekend (or national holiday)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Dating in your 30's is like looking for a parking spot. All the good ones are taken, the rest are either handicapped or too far away.

And then when you do finally find a spot, this happens:

Why do people have regrets? I mean, every decision you've made up until now has kept you alive. You are making the right survival decision 100% of the time. Good job!
On a typical Friday night I am
Imagining whirled peas.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I like yellow Starburst.

You haven't lived until you've been solicited by a sex-bot on a dating website. "I don't check this website much. Why don't you come watch my live cam? It's only $2. Don't be a pussy!" ...My life is complete now.
You should message me if
If I have to convince you to message me, that kind of defeats the purpose of attraction...

Don't message if you are a man, or a robot. Aliens are OK.

You swiped right.