Northling
35 Toronto, Canada
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Northling
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My self-summary
Sometimes dating over 30 reminds me of second-hand shopping. There's nothing new on offer, and you probably wouldn't want it if it was. Some are well worn, while others are worn out. No two items are the same. Some of it fits but isn't your style. Others are beautiful but just doesn't sit right on you. Even with all the selection, you are only looking for the best stuff and when you find it you know what you've got to try and grab it before someone else comes along.

Sound familiar?

This is how I'm worn: I used to value sharp thinking alone, but these days I put a higher value on a kind heart.

I've really been enjoying the the idea that "in a wiser, more self-aware society than our own, a standard question on any early dinner date would be: “And how are you crazy?”

Me? I really enjoy attachment theory, so I'll put this out there: I'm an avoidant turned anxious turned (on good days) a well-earned secure-ish attacher. I've struggled a lot with intimate relationships, and I put a high value on loving well. I try to be a decent human being. I get that being human is tough work some days and do my best to appreciate everyone else is doing the same.

While I try to keep my significance in the world in check (ie. being one of 7+ billion), I don't worry to much about fitting in and have a style that's a bit loud: a big silly moustache, boldly coloured patterns, round glasses. While some of the things I want are pretty traditional (a life partner, kids, a satisfying career), I'm pretty open to finding ways to do that make sense to me and the people I'm in relation with.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a freelance video editor and producer by day and pro circus performer by night. I'm training to become a psychotherapist. It's one of the most challenging and rewarding things I've ever done.

I'm super nerdy on some levels, though more in a "turn me on with more of your hot cultural theory talk" than of the "let me tell you about Star Wars" variety. I am curious about so many things.

I make art that is all about emotional connection. I love designing furniture, though I'm still working on my fine carpentry skills. I'm trying to learn Illustrator to make a kinetic shadow-play lamp, but have been distracted by the actual need to learn a new video editing program.
I’m really good at
Riding my bike, debating without arguing, dreaming up big ambitious projects and finding myself in the midst of another big learning curve.
The first things people usually notice about me
My eyes because they are active and blue.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Podcasts: Song Exploder, The Memory Palace, On the Media, This American Life, Radiolab, Spark on CBC, 99 Per-Cent Invisible, On Being.

Books: Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown, most everything by Kurt Vonnegut, Randal Munroe's "What If" and more. If you haven't read Haroun and the Sea of Stories by Salman Rushdie, find someone to read it out loud with. It's kind of magical :)

Music: Plenty, though these days I can't stop listening to tUnEyArDs.
The six things I could never do without
projects!
close friends
coffee
my bicycle
white boards filled with ideas and designs
curiosity
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What life is going to look like for us humans in the next 100 years. What life is going to look like for me in the next two.

Thinking about how the nuclear family isn't serving my best friends (parents with young kids) and thinking about alternative models of living and child rearing.
On a typical Friday night I am
Dancing, at a house party, checking out some indie theatre, or working :P
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I've been exploring my kinky side lately and I don't think I'll be going back to vanilla sex anytime soon. Worth a conversation if you're curious and open-minded, or if you've had your own ideas that you have or still want to explore.

I'd consider this link and also this link good stepping off points to talk about sex.
You should message me if
If you have a sharp mind, a kind heart and are always learning.

If you've made it this far and you think I'm the kind of person you'd like and you're the kind of person I'd like.

Beyond that -- I find it hard to tell chemistry without meeting. Let's find something fun to do in the city. Show me a favourite something in the city?
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