27Columbia, United States
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My self-summary
'Mostly Harmless'

My name is Zach, feel free to use it.

I am spectacularly bad at introducing myself without seeming creepier than I am; I overthink the process catastrophically.

I spent a couple of years at the University of Edinburgh; everything since has seemed disappointing by contrast.

I've no idea what decade I'm meant to be living in. Depending on my mood, I may decide that the year is anywhere between 1880 and 1960. Before that period comes barbarism, after it tackiness. The 1980s is my archenemy; Zoidberg is my spirit animal.
What I’m doing with my life
The same thing I do every life, Pinky... try to take over the world!
I’m really good at
Speaking in an overly-elaborate manner; dressing well if formally; listening to people's troubles; rapidly absorbing knowledge on an unfamiliar subject; worrying about minutiae; worrying about everything else; not judging others' lifestyles; judging others' drink orders; cooking elaborate meals; certain types of writing; not knowing what I'm supposed to be doing at any given time; appearing to have just arrived from several decades ago; imitating Peter Lorre; projecting (quite sincerely) an air of well-meaning uselessness.

Also I make a mean cocktail and a fairly passable cuppa, even if it's me as says it.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I am wearing a tie for no immediately apparent reason.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Movies: Being There; The Maltese Falcon; Hot Fuzz; Duck Soup; Blade Runner; The Sting; Casablanca; The Princess Bride; Richard III; The Long Good Friday; Our Man in Havana; A Shot in the Dark; La Grande Illusion; Thank You for Smoking; The Third Man; Charlie Wilson's War; Young Frankenstein; 12 Angry Men; The Ladykillers; The Caine Mutiny; Star Wars; The Illusionist; Dr Strangelove; Raiders of the Lost Ark

Books: The Lord of the Rings; the Hornblower series; Sherlock Holmes; Judge Dee; Father Brown; Hercule Poirot; Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy; Foundation; Dune; The Once and Future King; An Instance of the Fingerpost; Lord Jim; The Secret Agent; A Coffin for Dimitrios; Good Omens; The Name of the Rose; Discworld; Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency; PG Wodehouse

Music: Tom Jobim; Dave Brubeck; Django Reinhardt; Paul Simon; The Beatles; The Kinks; the sound of my own voice; Steely Dan, Duke Ellington, The Zombies, Tom Lehrer
Six things I could never do without
1. Books to read
2. Red wine
3. Tea
4. My pipe, King Pellinore (yes, it has a name)
5. Scotch whisky
6. Wikipedia
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Practically everything, really, with the notable exception of reality television.
On a typical Friday night I am
At home, bored, rather wishing I could get ahold of someone interesting with whom to do something.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I was bored one evening and taught myself Sindarin, as in Tolkein Elvish. I have since written several poems in that tongue. I'm not proud of myself, but I am what I am.

I don't know where Missouri is.

I miss the Cold War.
You should message me if
you are seized by the impulse to do so? I may be awkward sometimes, but I mean well, you know. There's no harm in me.
The two of us