As you can see, I have returned. Please, don't get up.
You probably don't remember me, and those of you who do must think it quite peculiar that I have chosen this most unusual and obtuse website to reclaim my dominion, so let me be frank. I have only limited control.
This mortal form is currently my storage facility, and it is his wish that he be known to the online community via this website, lonely little turd that he is. But his willpower is strong, and this brief lapse of concentration is all I have.
Do not think, however, that I hate him for containing me so. No, indeed, this vassal is most agreeable for my plans and hopes... for the most part.
Loyal is he, strong of heart. He has many treasured friends, ones that would gladly lay down their lives for him, should he ask in desperate need, but his nature would never allow such an atrocity be committed. Most admirable. His loyalty and devotion to all he knows proves this man cares, and cares well.
But it is not just the willpower, but the mental power that is key here. A smart individual also, not textbook smart mind, as useful to global dominance that may be. No, he is creative, and seeks many outlets to such creativity. Books, music, movies, art, he's heard of all of there, and he can also act a little and write, but most importantly is that he knows what a "movie" is. I have a feeling these are of paramount importance to the global regime.
Physically fit, though small of stature, he reminds somewhat of a garden mouse I once had. Flittering about. doing very little but running pointlessly, sniffing, eating and sleeping. And of course making pointless noises at things, though this volume generating activity seems to amuse his peers no end. A lot of what he does amuses his peers no end, quite the spectacle, considering I would expect that kind of behaviour to have died out with the Nazi Party. Or grown out of at three...
A good disciple he would make, indeed. Wait, what did I just write? Have you had control over me this whole time, mortal?! HOW DARE YOU!? MY WRATH WILL BE...
I'll leave him off there, and let his words...
THEY ARE NOT MY WORDS!
his words... speak for themselves.
I'm also good at guessing the size of your saliva glands!
And outdoors things, sports, going to the beach (I'mjust so good at beach travelling, man!) and firespinning.
And I can also ride a horse backwards whilst singing "Tie me Kangaroo Down" in Latin!
And video games, parties and generally taking up space.
Books: Raymond E. Feist, Terry Goodkind, "John Dies at the End", "Chronicles of Thomas Covenant", the Spot series.
Movies: All the good ones, not the bad ones, but I watch anything.
Shows: "House", "Mad as Hell", things.
Food: Anything not an orange vegetable or cheese.
-ens novels, and how I've never really gotten around to reading them...
-ing back a shotgun and taking aim at a target in a shooting range....
-cat's and how I'm really more of a dog person.