─ Bob Hope
I lead a life of mystery and intrigue. It involves copious amounts of studying, frequent rearranging of letters to form words, and weekly feats of strength, agility, and endurance.
I am... jones1973 ─ a good man with a dirty mind.
You might want to grab yourself a drink and brace yourself for a flurry of words before continuing.
─ J.R.R. Tolkien
Ruining it, I reckon. At least, if I am doing it right.
I am attending college again. My plan is to get a healthcare-related degree. I intend to get said degree and parlay that into a related career, rinse, and repeat. Aw yeah! It's really kind of exciting. Am currently treading water until my program starts this fall.
Was previously employed as a software developer. Changing careers has been, um, an adventure? I still program, but it's for personal satisfaction as opposed to monetary gain.
Working retail for now, at CVS/Pharmacy in Northborough as a clerk, as it allows me to focus on school. Feel free to come up, try to catch me working, and see me in my (ahem) natural environment. Chances are *really, really* good that I won't recognize you from here.
For fun and sport, I like to occasionally throw myself headfirst into nature and go day hiking. Traditionally it's been on weekends, but I can really go any day of the week. I enjoy exploring and am more than happy to eschew maps and go off-trail to check things out. When the cold weather descends upon us, I tend to go out less as I embrace my inner wuss.
─ Woody Allen
• Making pancakes. I have references.
• Rocking facial hair like nobody's business.
• Putting the toilet seat down ─ like, 99.9997% good.
• Being a poor college student.*
• Knowing random things.
• Forgetting a word, but being able to dance all around it.
Practice makes perfect.
*Makes me an excellent buy as I'm currently undervalued.
In other words, I have no idea.
UPDATE! One woman said, "You're taller than I thought you'd be." She was obviously referencing the average 2" height increase guys give themselves on this site. I'm actually a smidgen taller than 5'7", but I round down because of, y'know, common sense.
Though I still love pizza, I've been cutting back in a combined effort to spend less on food and eat healthier. With that said, I'll never completely give it up. Pizza and I are BFFs.
Changing of Seasons
I don't mind the actual change from fall to winter, but winter itself and I have had a bit of a falling out.
God forbid I actually pick up a book, talk to other people, or rent porn from the local video store.
Helps keep my neck limber and gives me a semblance of cover for impromptu dancing, making me look a smidgen less the fool.
Not Quite Warm Enough Covers and a Cold Room
So very awesome when going to sleep. Seriously. This is sex. With chocolate.
Yeah, that's only five. It felt like six though, and that's what counts ─ right? Right?
─ Albert Einstein
Slowly making my way through.
Mostly the naked ones. Mostly.
Why I'm not doing it more often. That the in-between, falling back asleep off and on time between waking up the first time and actually getting up can result in some sweet ass dreams.
Boy, 10. Girl, 13. They live in Pennsylvania with their mother.
What my next adventure will look like. They've been rather spontaneous as of late.
I quite enjoy it. Very much so. If I looked at your profile, there's a good chance I considered what it'd be like to kiss you. Sorry about that.
Strange Random Thoughts
Most of the randoms I mull over don't belong in a profile as swingingly cool as this one.
─ Franklin D. Roosevelt
Out for drinks and/or dinner. Resting. Watching a movie. Studying. Wishing my friends could come out and play more often.
And that's all in a single night. Maybe.
All of the above is a lie, a damned lie! It was written in a weak moment when I thought I actually had a life. I don't. On a typical Friday night I'm diluting my beer with an unending cascade of salty tears.
That might not be true either.
Usually I'm at the bar with my friends telling them that all I really want is someone to hold me and tell me that everything is gonna be alright.
Again, probably not that.
Most Fridays I'm packing my meager belongings and moving to a new city, trying to stay a couple steps ahead of the Feds.
No... that's something I used to do. In my dreams. At night. When thinking about ideas for a new screenplay. Probably.
These days I'm video chatting with my friends, planning the revolution. And, uh... You didn't hear that from me.
Working until 10p. Watching a movie. Going to bed. Glamorous.
─ (probably not) Abraham Lincoln
─ Robert Fulghum
You should message me if any of the following are true:
• You are not crazier than is generally accepted by most people.
• You find me funny or even mildly entertaining.
• This is not the penultimate step in your plan to kill me.
• You wish to become my "Words with Friends" adversary.
• You have a story to share. I like stories!
• You think I look fucking fantastic in one of my photos.
• You want to catch some live music somewhere.
• You have a thirst and/or hunger you would like quenched.
• You fancy yourself a good kisser. There will be a test.
• You want to meet and do anything other than drink.
• You are somewhat local and fairly spontaneous.
• You think we would make a cute, nay, adorable couple.
• You want me to stop adding to this list.
• You believe I've been negligent in messaging you.
• You like horror movies and roller coasters.
• You want me to interview for an open friend position.
• You don't have cooties.
• You'd like to have drinks while not speaking to one another.
• You might enjoy travel, but do not have a passion for it.
• You understand that the sun is significantly larger than Earth.
• You also understand that the world is not flat. Seriously.
• You want to meet sooner than later.
• You want to go thrift store shopping.
• You agree mosquitoes are thieves that deserve vigilante justice.
• You still stop to smell the occasional rose.
• You are forthcoming, upfront, honest, and other related words.
• You are uncomfortable with most absolutes.
• You like to walk.
• You would like to go on an ice cream date.
• You realize that sweat, in fact, will not kill you.
• You like to do things.
• You want to share a late breakfast.
• You'd still love me after I declare data to be one of my passions.
• Life hasn't beaten all the silly out of you yet.
• You are a fan of the Detroit Lions.
• A smile dances across your face more often than not.
• You believe communication is one key to a strong relationship.
• You know a good place for pie. I'm partial to apple crumble.
• You'd like to go on a 5 Wits adventure.
• You have season tickets to ALL THE THINGS.
• You'd like to take it slow. Friends first.
• You'd like to take it fast. Ease into friendship.
• You're a girl who reads.
• Overall, you believe in moderation, but don't sweat straying.
• You want to grab a beer and trade war stories.
• You can rock a dress, because OMGYES!
• You want me to shave. I'm not picky.
• You'd like to chat via webcam before deciding to meet.
• You've saved Earth from destruction at least once.
• You just want someone to make out with.
• You want to party like it's 1999.
• You like yourself.
• You gaze at the stars, if but only for brief moments.
• You're not crazy into hockey.
• You want to experiment on me.
• You think I may be your cuppa.
• You think it might be cool to hang out for a couple of hours.
• You are a scientist of any type, because sexy.
• You don't want to date, but would like to go out anyway.
• You feel like doing something tonight.
• You would like to share a bottle of wine, perhaps tonight.
• You want to look up at the stars. Perhaps while sharing some wine.
• You actually made it down here; because so many words.
• You want me to love you, or at least, y'know, like you a whole bunch.
• You take good selfies.
• You would not mind me reading your books.
• You would like to jaunt through the woods, err... go hiking.
• You like a dry sense of humor in your mate.
• You do not wear patchouli-based perfumes. Can. Not. Stand.
• You want me to regale you with stories from when I was a lab rat.
• You want me to tell you the story of the big fire.
• You can explain why the stars stubbornly refuse to grant my wishes.
• You would fancy a night swim.
• You'd like to go for a walk and catch some Pokémon.
• You would rather question, "how are we going to make this work" than state, "we're too far away".
Any of the above is fine. Combinations of the above are awesome. All of the above is über. None of the above is so out of left field, it makes my heart go all pitter-patter.
Following the questionable premise that all men are assholes ─ that you should just pick one ─ I posit that you should pick me. After all, you've already invested a nice chunk of your time in reading my profile, and more importantly, you're already here.
I can be verbose.
*makes small hand movement*
You are going to write me.
(it's a Jedi mind trick)
We should go out for tea or, if the weather is nice, a short walk.