36 Chicago, United States
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My self-summary
I wrote Mambos Number 1 through 4
What I’m doing with my life
I'm always trying to learn new things but when I tried to demonstrate to some Brazilians the basic Portuguese I learned from Duolingo I failed to convey "I eat bread" and instead said "I eat cock" so that was a valuable lesson in showing off. For reference the words are pão and pau.

It says "post grad" now, it used to say law school. I'm a lawyer. I'm sorry.
I’m really good at
Super Mario Kart on SNES.

I used to think I wasn't, as a kid. My best friend would beat me 9 out of 10 times we'd play. Then I went to college and beat everybody at it all the time. Turns out my friend was just really, really, really into video games. Now he writes books about Christian apologetics.

Some people seem to like my photography, but a lot of people like Thomas Kinkade and Ke$ha so who knows what that says.

Skiing. Also I play soccer and softball but "really good" would be pushing it on both of those.

It turns out I'm really good at r/whereisthis so there's another skill I can't monetize.

I'm absolutely hilarious. Can't you tell.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Meat. Why are there so many vegans here?

I won't judge you by your taste in music or movies or TV if you agree not to do the same for me.

I lied; I will judge you for watching anything on Bravo.

My favorite biographies are The Real Frank Zappa Book by Frank Zappa and Richard Feynman's autobiographies.

I refuse to put other favorite books because there's no way to do it without sounding either like a pretentious ass (Siddhartha) or a guy who stopped reading in high school (Sherlock Holmes).

My least favorite book is East of Eden. Or I guess Mein Kampf but I really hated East of Eden.
The six things I could never do without
1. Passport
2. Ski boots
3. The constant re-affirmation of getting a bunch of facebook likes when I post something I think is clever.
4. My friends; strangers don't let you keep beating them in Scramble w Friends over and over.
5. Brevity

after going to Central America this list seems awfully entitled
I spend a lot of time thinking about
why nobody gets the "wherefore" question right. English, people.
On a typical Friday night I am
not exploring the city, and neither are you. Going to a restaurant does not make you Magellan.

Drinking is probably involved.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I auditioned for Jeopardy twice and haven't made it onto the show and it's my greatest failure.
You should message me if
you can finish most of an NYT Saturday xword without assistance.