Oblomow
31 Besançon, France
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Oblomow
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My self-summary
Welcome to my profile. Whatever has led you here, sit down, have a drink of your choice and let me introduce myself.

So, first of all, I am a bisexual man living in consensual non-monogamy. This could be a quote from Captain Obvious, but alas, due to my experience I have learned I need to precise what that means.
So, I am bisexual. That means I am not just really gay and pretending, I really and actually may love people from both, or let's say all, genders. For lack of a better word, let's call that bisexual. I've probably been through more than you because of that, so no, I'm not just lazy and reluctant to come out completely.
And than, I am a man. This could also obvious aswell, but I need to explain it. It does not mean I surpress my feelings, neither does it mean I am accessary to any evil or stupidity of my brethren because I am one, nor does it imply that I will cess to do so because I do things that "real men" don't, like wearing pink, crying or being in awe of cute things. On the other hand, I lift weights, drink beer and I've been to the military, so who cares ?
Then, I live in consensual non-monogamy. That does not mean I need to have sex with you just because you are not satisfied with your monogamous marriage. It means I don't limit my love to one person, but I will not leave my man.
He's the reason why I am here in France, after all. Yes, there are people that emigrate for other reasons than professional ones these days. I'm one of them, and so far, I don't regret it.

So, what are this bisexual man's views of the world ? One thing I appreciate about France is that it is a secular state. That's because I'm not really religious, and I've grown up in a less secular one (i.e. Germany) and didn't appreciate that circumstance too much. I've grown up a lutheran protestant with some everlasting faible for catholicism and it's fancy churches. I prefer religions that don't make the effort to pretend they were something else, and even more if they don't proselytize. I've ended up a sceptical deist, if that makes any sense to you. I don't exclude the existence of God, but I don't rely on it, nor do I think that this would justify lapidations, genital mutilation, the killing of people that are not completely conform to their gender or other such things.

Sounds rather liberal, does it ? As a matter of fact, it does. But still, I have a hard time to label myself a liberal. For far too many being "liberal"/"leftist" obviously means to be solidary with homophobic, antisemitic, authoritarian theocracies ( Palestine, Iran, Cuba..) and against cosmopolitic, open-minded immigration societies ( i.e. USA, Isreal...), so I'm still reluctant.
Secularism and a society that does not segregate and distribute roles by gender are important for me, and in doubt I'd rather choose freedom over equality and tradition. If there is a heritage that the West should rediscover, though, it's that of Enlightenment.

Tests here described me as a INFJ with chaotic-good alignment, and that somehow hits the mark. Besides that, I'm not on facebook and I don't own a smartphone.I just wanted to mention that.
What I’m doing with my life
Being full-time honey of the man of my life
( http://www.okcupid.com/profile/transvince?cf=recently_visited). He is the reason why I live in France, and the best thing that has ever happened to me.
I used to have a "straight phase" that only ended completely when the two of us got together, and I'm still recovering from it. And so do I from my country of origin that I have some kind of love-hate relationship with.

I'm more or less settling down and my social life is mostly centered about my family-in-law. I guess it's somethin that just happens at some point, but I'd like to have some more friends in the area. So, feel free to write me.

Graduated with a master in Russian studies and history in 2014, now teaching German, translating and trying to make ends meet. I like being a freelancer and enjoy the freedom that comes with it.

Then, sports. I don't watch them, I'm not a team player and have never been a sports jock, so I content myself with swinging around my Indian clubs and kettlebells, but I make an effort to do that at least two times a week.

There is also music. I play a little guitar and piano and I sing. With regards to the guitar, it's enough to accompany 'Every Me,Every You' while singing it, and my piano is sufficient to play some of Schubert's Impromptus and Lieder. I don't have any further ambitions.

As of late, I've discovered LARP. I mostly enjoy the aspect of sewing clothes and fabricating things myself. Anyway, fashion history is something I find utterly interesting, and it's one way to put that into practice.

I admit I also like video games sometimes. They've taught me more English than my teachers ever could, and sometimes they are just relaxing to play, if it's an original Action RPG like Fallout 3, Dragon Age or The Witcher.
I’m really good at
Well, I'm not bad at foreign languages, at least I can converse in three of them and no one would identify my origin. Also, I'm able to imitate almost every accent of my native language. I don't sing too bad and I'm more or less musical. Then, my cooking has never been complainted about.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
MUSIC: Quite a spectrum, in fact. I also play piano and guitar myself, sometimes I even sing to it. Just to give you an idea:

-Renaissance, early and middle baroque (i.e William Byrd, Marc-Antoine Charpentier, Kapsberger), Franz Schubert (!), piano music of romanticism in general (Chopin, Beethoven, Sibelius)
- Postrock ( Epic 45, Daturah,God is an Astronaut..), New Wave/ Postpunk (Joy Division, A Flock of Seagulls, Indochine, Grauzone, Кино)
- Black Metal ( Wolves in the Throne Room, Urfaust, Aggaloch), Post Black Metal ( Alcest, Amesoeurs, Les Discrets), Doom Metal ( Saint Vitus, Sunn o))), Anathema, Antimatter), Viking Metal ( Falkenbach, Ensiferum)
- 80's pop ( A-ha, Bronski Beat, Herbert Grönemeyer), Erasure ( I'm not straight, I'm allowed to do that...)
- When I'm in the mood: Country, Marching music (my guilty pleasures...........)
-Helge Schneider (a class of his own)

MOVIES:
- Heavy going, art-house: Tod eines Schülers, Die Verrohung des Franz Blum, Сталкер, Андрей Рублев, Jagdszenen aus Niederbayern,..
- Historical/ War: Wallenstein, Der Thronfolger, Das Boot, Oberst Redl, The Longest Day, Gods and Generals,..
-Comedy (some classics I appreciate:) La cage aux folles, Priscilla, Die Feuerzangenbowle, everything of Loriot,
- Helge Schneider ( again...a class of his own)

BOOKS: I'm quite a picky reader and mostly read heavy going, psychological and/or absurd classics, mostly German and Russian. To give you an idea:
И.А. Гончаров: Обломов (hence my nick), В.В. Ерофеев: Москва-Петушки, H.Mann: Der Untertan, H. Fallada: Der Trinker, Г. Газданов: Ночные дороги, Heinrich Heine, Н.В. Гоголь, Kurt Tucholsky, Molière, Franz Kafka

I'm also quite a regular reader of psychologytoday and similar blogs. As to political magazines and blogs, I enjoy Jungle World, Lizas Welt and such.

I also read the Bible sometimes ( as opposed to a lot of people that believe in it, I dare to say ). There is no reading that would baffle all description like that.

FOOD: Too much to name. I appreciate everything that's good and I'm wiling to try everything at least once. In fact, in restaurants, I mostly order the most obscure dish I can find on the menu. On the other hand, grandma's good old German cuisine has a place in my heart. I appreciate cooking myself a lot, and I mostly follow my inspiration when doing so.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
- my home country and why it is so strange. Did you know Tanzania was more supportive of free expression than Germany ? See for yourself: http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2016/10/12/americans-more-tolerant-of-offensive-speech-than-others-in-the-world/

- straight people ('Heten'...one word in my native language that describes best my attitude towards them) and how they function, and why so may people think that jealousy and fights over trivial matters were vital for a relationship.

- why so many people think of sexual orientations in an exclusively binary way. Could it be that they think being gay was some kind of virus that you're either infected with or not ?
On a typical Friday night I am
Mostly at home, watching a movie, having a beer or a wine, sewing or playing a video game. I used to party much more during my university days, but they are over now. I wouldn't mind some partying, though. So, again, feel free to write me.
You should message me if
So, the main purpose I'm here is to find friends, preferably in the area to actually meet up in person. You are welcome to write me for whatever reason if you live somwhere else, however. I won't bite.
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