29 Chicago, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I'm abrasively arrogant, ambitious and exhausting when I'm doing something productive. When I'm not doing anything productive, I'm abrasively arrogant, ambitious and occasionally fun. Emphasis on occasionally.

I'm on here to find a date. That doesn't mean I'm here to get you into my bed (you wish. Or maybe I do. Depends on what you look like.). But I do enjoy going to a new place I've never been in, talking to a new, interesting (and maybe attractive) person, and, if I'm lucky, discovering someone I have insane chemistry with.

I'm pretentiously cerebral, but if you're not into that, I can get along with anyone whose personality isn't flat as a pancake. I'm rarely emotional, but whatever feelings I have, are deeply felt and sincere.

Also, I'm obsessed with Five Guys burgers, to a degree where the adjective "clinical" becomes applicable.
What I’m doing with my life
I used to work for an evil corporation, doing evil things. Now I'm in graduate school, learning how to do evil things better (now with 25% more evil!). I'm also working on some side projects that are marginally less evil.
I’m really good at
nothing that could be said in polite society.

Well, no - I guess I cook pretty well.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm like the Russian James Bond. Bad accent, impeccable style and an appreciation of martinis.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Anything by Mark Twain
Movies: Pulp Fiction
Shows: Man vs. Food (surprise...)
Music: I seed my Pandora stations with 50 Cent (all of them)
Food: A really good, really greasy burger.
The six things I could never do without
Coffee, six times.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
1) What I'll have for lunch
2) What I'll have for dinner
3) Unusual things that happen to me
4) How much I like Five Guys cheeseburgers. If you don't know what these are, we may be incompatible.
On a typical Friday night I am
exploring the bottom of a bottle of Scotch.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
...I'm on OkCupid. Seriously now.
You should message me if
...you're cute. And interesting. It's a tall order for a dating site, but if I'm here mostly out of boredom, why not set the standard high...Think about it this way - if we met in a club and talked for 5 minutes and I never saw you again, would I forever regret not getting your number?