28 London, United Kingdom
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My self-summary
People say I'm funny, but I don't see it.

I love food. And books. And apparently, sentence fragments, for emphasis. And films.

I also like playing games; not mind games, actual games. Like computer or console or board or card, really any games. So if you like games, we might get on, I guess. We might not, a lot of very different people like games.

I have opinions. Who doesn't. I don't mind if yours are different to mine. It would be good if we agreed on the big stuff though, like not being racist, and what to have for dinner.
What I’m doing with my life
I was a book editor.
Then I was a lawyer, briefly.
Now I am a writer.
I want to write books, but at the moment I am just a hack reporter.

I get to work from home, which is nice.
I’m really good at
Cooking and baking. Especially macarons; I spent significantly longer making my pastries excellent than I ever did studying.

DIY, particularly in 17th century French castles.
The first things people usually notice about me
If I am wearing red trousers, it's the trousers.
If not, probably my self-consciously retro glasses.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I love lots of books. Things by Kurt Vonnegut, James Joyce, Raymond Chandler, Philip Roth, David Foster-Wallace, Joseph Conrad, Joey Comeau, Graham Greene and about a million other authors in particular. Or indiscriminately, I guess.

I love lots of movies, too. Almost anything directed Woody Allen, Jim Jarmusch, Wes Anderson, the Cohen brothers, Martin Scorsese, Jacques Audiard et al.

Music should make me want to dance or hit me in the feels.
I like jazz, like Chet Baker or Bill Evans. Everybody digs Bill Evans.
I am listening to This Year by The Mountain Goats right now. This instant.

Food is pretty much my favourite thing. I will eat anything and everything, once at least. I occasionally write about food, too. I have worked in a brewery in the past, which comes in handy because I really like real ale, too.
The six things I could never do without
iPhone. That's a lie, actually. I have no idea how to use it.
Piping bag.
A comfy chair.
Full stops.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
This is water.
On a typical Friday night I am
Dinner or the pub or both with friends.
Maybe games, too!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Sometimes, when I am walking alone and carrying a furled umbrella, I pretend to have a limp and use it as a walking stick.
You should message me if
Despite the evidence to the contrary found above, you think you would like talking to me.

Or you just want to eat my excellent cakes. That's fine, too.
It's not even a metaphor.