OmNomOm
33 Salt Lake City, United States
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OmNomOm
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My self-summary
I'm going to tell you, dear viewer, how feminism can get you laid.

If you agree with me, you can skip most of my profile. If not, carry on.
What I’m doing with my life
VOCABULARY:

Strawman Argument

A fallacy in which someone derails an argument by refuting a completely different argument, in the process conferring on the opponent negative attributes that they do not have. Example: "I believe in equality, unlike those dirty rotten feminists who want to crush all men beneath the jack-booted heels of the matriarchy!"

Toxic Masculinity

The idea that men are bestial, incapable of feeling any emotion except anger, and incapable of controlling their sexual impulses. The idea that men are not allowed to like anything even vaguely feminine. The idea that men must never show weakness. In other words, the feminist tenet that patriarchy hurts men as well as women.

Privilege, Entitlement

I'm going to speak in generalities now. I know perfectly well that there are exceptions, but here are the trends now in American society.

To steal a metaphor, a straight white male child starts the race through life a step ahead of everyone else. He doesn't have to work as hard to earn the approval and attention of the adults in his life. He is never told that his ambitions are impossible because of who he is. He won't have to put up with the bitter resentment of being patronized. Almost all the media he consumes is made for people like him, by people like him. The protagonists in these media--almost always straight white males--are rewarded for their efforts with the love and/or sexual favors of at least one female love interest. That's privilege.

A young straight white male will expect that his opinion will always be listened to seriously. He will expect that he will be able to achieve all his ambitions, and nobody will try to interfere with them. And he will expect that any woman he desires will be his just because he wants her, because that's what he's been told happens all his short life. That's entitlement.
I’m really good at
The transition to adulthood is difficult for everyone, but I imagine it's just a little bit harder for the typical straight white male. Suddenly he has to deal with all the self-doubts that have already been needling the rest of us for years. Am I good enough? Will they take me seriously? What if I get laughed at? What if she says no? Why is everything so difficult???

Most of them make it relatively unscathed, coasting through on the merits of being generally good people.* But some...some get all twisted up.

Some become so terrified of rejection that they turn to Nice-Guyism. They pretend to be some girl's friend in hopes that eventually she'll realize he's so great that she'll have to fall love with him. Or in more extreme cases, turn into total doormats in hopes of pity sex. This is inevitably made worse by societal conditioning of women to never directly say no to a man.**

Some get angry. They're angry that they don't get what they perceive others are handed off for free. They feel alienated, abused. They turn to misogyny and mechanistic explanations for why they aren't successful. If only feminists weren't around to teach women how to be stuck-up bitches! If only women weren't animals programmed to seek out only successful men! If only teenage girls weren't such sluts and saved themselves for me...

*A common reaction to being ascribed privilege or entitlement is defensiveness. But privilege and entitlement aren't bad and having them does not make one a bad person.

**With good reason: an appalling number of women get killed after rejecting men.
The first things people usually notice about me
So back to feminism. Feminism is simple: historically, women have been deprived of power; they're still disadvantaged, though in a better position than previously; the goal is to raise women to parity with men. Not, as is commonly thought, to raise women above men. True, we want to dismantle the patriarchy, but as I said, that is because patriarchy is as bad for men as women. We do not hate men. We do not want to be hated by men.

A man who is a feminist treats women as human beings, not objects to be conquered and owned. He is nice without being a nice guy, because that's what you do with fellow people--you're nice to them. A feminist man does not put women on a pedestal, he sees them as equals. A feminist man is not afraid to ask women he's attracted to out, and doesn't punish them if they say no.

In short, women are more likely to have sex with men who aren't secretly afraid of or mad at them. If you would like advice about how to go about doing that, please visit http://www.doctornerdlove.com instead of asking me because I don't have the time or patience to babysit young white male virgins.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
lobsters.
You should message me if
So here's the deal: I've had an extremely difficult winter. Between a chronic pain condition, multiple different antidepressants, and just generally treating my body like garbage, I've gained like 30 pounds. I'm trying not to let it bother me but of course it does, and I don't feel like letting the misery of internet dating shred apart the remaining tatters of my self esteem. But I sometimes get nice messages about my little rants so I can't quite bring myself to delete this profile.

So I guess if you have a thing for big-bootied crazy chicks, and you're nice, you could make a stab. Or if you just want to say nice things to me, go ahead.

If you disagree with me, I don't care.
If you want to fuck me, I don't care.
If you've read the whole thing and still have wrong ideas about feminism, I really really don't care.
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