33Portland, United States
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My self-summary
I'm a nerd. What the fuck does this mean? It means I like to start fires and build pillow forts. Sometimes I also build computers, but only when I have the scratch.

Oh! I also use archaic slang. Like scratch, dynomite, and jawesome. Check the last one, it's legit.

In my spare time I "rock out," which means wearing ripped jeans and generally pretending that I'm being filmed by an MTV crew from the mid 90s. I also "nerd out." This involves reading, writing, playing video games, and writing about the process of reading, writing, and playing video games. I do my best to split my time evenly, but somehow video games always comes out on top.

Like most people, I have three separate addictions, all of them legal, except for the Thai boys.

I often look at things and feel feelings. These feelings are sometimes profound, sometimes stupid, and sometimes both. Still, I think its nice to espouse and discuss these feelings.

I am awkward, capable, and inept
What I’m doing with my life
I work in a terrible office job and then write in my off time. I'm leaving the land of Ports for Brooklyn in late July to go to school at Long Island University, located in Brooklyn. I kind of giggle at that last bit.

I also write sometimes. You can find some of what I write at Its a small, psychotic cross section of what I do, but I apply myself and try to take pride in it.
I’m really good at
I've been told I'm a decent cook. I've sworn myself off of cooking meat lately, so I lost that part of my skill, but I've gotten good at substituting lentils for meat. If you want to have your mind blown with lentils, let me know.

Also, I can drive stick and I sometimes use irony correctly. I'm a master of puns.

Of late I've also been told I'm good at kickball. Not fielding in kickball, but literally kicking the ball in a way that people have trouble catching it, and running short distances while swearing at myself. Only in Portland could this be considered a skill.
The first things people usually notice about me
I have equations tattooed on my arms.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I hate these "list off your interests" things with a passion. So I'm going to rattle off lists of shit I took with me when I was biking across Sweden.

Books: The Minotaur Takes a Cigarette Break, Saul and Patsy, Oryx and Crake. I currently carry a copy of Amanda Nadelburg's Isa the Truck Named Isadore in my bag at most times, though.

Music: Labor (Aesop Rock), The Sunlandic Twins (Of Montreal), Spelled in Bones (The Fruit Bats). If I was making the same list today I'd have some Rilo Kiley and Neko Case thrown in there for good measure.

Movie wise, I'll just rattle off things I think are great, since homelessness didn't afford me a movie player: Grosse Point Blank, Knocked Up, the original Die Hard, Blade Runner and Predator. If your idea of a good time is eating a nice meal, having a nice beer and watching Predator, we will get along really well.

As for food... The greatest fast food I've ever had is something called "curry chips" from a small fast food place called Lennox's in Cork, Ireland. The best "real" food I've ever had, on a dime to satisfaction ratio, is probably Pad Thai, located in Saint Paul, Minnesota. The best biscuits and gravy I've ever had has come from The Uptown Diner, located in downtown Minneapolis. The best food I've had in Portland is tough to nail down, but if I had to make a call? I'd say Genie's. Nothing tastes better after a night of drinking than diner fare with hipster flare.

These choices should tell you a lot about me, even though they don't take the form of a list.
Six things I could never do without
Written language, your mom, burritos, Edward James Olmos, coffee and beer.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Stories and the way they're told, people and the way they live, and hearts and the way they love.

On a less pretentious note, I also think about kittens, boobs, and fresh air a lot. These are things that I believe everyone can enjoy, barring serious mental illness. Addendums to this list include Bruce Willis, Impressionist paintings and cheap red wine.

I used to think about Queen a lot, but that's not accurate anymore. Nowadays I think about what I can fit into my Tercel, what my next tattoo is going to be and how much I can spend on tattoos. Currently planned tattoo to come: T-Rex fighting a squid.
On a typical Friday night I am
I'll sit at home, drink half a bottle of wine and scream at my computer until I write something. Then I'll take a cigarette break and drink the other half of the bottle while watching a movie and trying to write, silent and hoarse from the prior scream session.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm bad at Okay Cupiding.
You should message me if
You think I seem interesting, you think I seem "interesting", you know what the phrase nerdcore means, you have only seen Brewster's Millions because it was playing on USA and you weren't doing anything else, you like reading, or you just want to talk to a person who finds you genuinely intriguing just for being you.

Basically, if you like books or think shouting "books are cool" in a public place is a cool idea you should talk at me.
The two of us