63Des Plaines, United States
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My self-summary
I'm pretty much a happy person. The glass is always half full and I don't sweat the small stuff. Life is just way too short! Comedy is huge on my list and I laugh as much as I can; George Carlin is/was my hero! This is who I was once upon a time until the nightmares started!!!

These type of sites can really bring a barrage of confusion, misguided imagery and insanity to the forefront; they can definitely confound a person. While those not affected by this type of meet n greet and are lucky enough to fall off to sleep counting sheep, I count profiles and pair them up with their mug shots. Ah, where's a lullaby when you need one!? If you ask me, if you're going for that type of "photo opp", dress for the occasion and at least put some spit on that ruffled mane and perhaps a tie on that ripped, torn and tattered T-shirt. Hey, ya never know who might be perusing the "Arrests" and boom, just like that, over night, you're discovered or at the least...busted (pardon the pun)!

Misguided imagery, I'm sure we've all had plenty of that but what can you make of a person who verbally flaunts his schtick via phone, saying, "I've Got Something For You!" Eagle Man would be horrified and I am left wondering if that's your Schnauzer you're referring to between your legs. Hey, don't blame me for the confusion...it's either a schtik, a Bic or rhymes with Richard!

I guess we've all had experiences that left us wondering," WTF could I have said!?" Putting your best foot forward could result in putting your foot in your mouth. However, one never knows what will turn off a person via a phone conversation or an email for that matter. A mere,"Hello, didn't I see you recently in one of your costume changes, Bozo!?", might not get you a response at all. Go figure! It couldn't be the breath, thank God smell -a -phone hasn't been invented yet; could it be a laugh or a sign of high EQ? Should I have dumbed it down or recited the Preamble? Who knows! Could it be the voice itself? Ah, Could be. I know for me a great voice, a voice that is smooth and calming that flows from one sentence to the next usually keeps my attention. If the person on the other end sounds like Elmer Fudd...we got pwobwems!!!
What I’m doing with my life
Well, aside from stripping for the blind, a totally charitable act of kindness I hope you know, I'm stumbling around blindly looking for my knight in shinning armor!
I’m really good at
I think I'm really good at understanding the Rules of the Road....Red means stop, Green means go, and yellow means, apply mascara, text your BFF, and if a cop is near by.........floor it!
The first things people usually notice about me
I have a pretty nice smile...thank you Mr. Dentist!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Well, since I've been on this quest to find someone that just might fit me; I've read all the books on dating, relationships, and how not to give in and give up and settle for that Turban head cock-eyed individual that's been sitting on the curb for the past 3 days saying that according to "Genie", he's got 3 wishes to grant me. Books - I Can't Believe I'm Still Single, The Alchemist, Tuesday With Morrie, Embraced By the Light, The Traveling Nomad, When Will Jesus Bring the pork Chops by George Carlin.
Movies - Never Again (produced by Eric Schaffer) you need to see this one! Dr. Zhivago, Madea
Music - Country, all day. I grew up on Mowtown and I love it as well but just don't get an opportunity to tune into it that much. Best song...Misty Blue by Dorothy Moore ( I think that was her name)
Food - I make a kick arce pizza but I like a variety of foods.
Six things I could never do without
starry nights at a bon fire with crickets chirping
my de-louser
my collection of sock puppets
drunk Ukrainians
Pantyhose (c'mon, you didn't think I'd give a straight answer)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
If Our Time is just as "special" as the free dating sites
If taking the short bus is code for I'm normal and you're not
why do men post pictures of their legs and feet
all those I never responded to but should have with kindness
On a typical Friday night I am
...besides answering these frickin' questions! In the summer, I might be at a concert or a festival
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
...the hump on my back is barely visible! ugh! You've got to be kidding me! I wouldn't reveal anything. It's like those individuals that say, "C'mon, take a picture of yourself nude, I won't show anyone! Yeah, right!
You should message me if
You're a happy person. Your glass is always half full. Your anger towards anyone in your past has been resolved and you'd rather sing than cry in your beer!
The two of us