**Update**: The above paragraph, while mostly true, is meant to be funny as I dont think there's anyone on here who doesn't have a few, good dating "horror" stories. No, I'm not blaming everyone else for my varied dating history and no, I'm not calling all women psychos (at least not out loud)...lighten up!
Lettuce see (Ok, I like bad puns)... I've been called equal parts smart-ass and dork. As I've never heard someone described this way, I take it as a compliment.
I am an unapologetic atheist and skeptic. If you believe in kindness, compassion and equality for all, we will get along fine, gods or no gods.
My sarcasm tends to be dry and if you're anything like me, then you'll understand when I say that phrases like "You know I was joking, right?" and "I was kidding" have become regular parts of my vocabulary. That being said, I also laugh hard at jokes that would make a 5th grader groan and roll their eyes.
I will still ride the back of the grocery cart to my car when the mood strikes me.
I also have my own car, my own apartment and work full-time. I am not looking for someone to take care of me.
I have 8 tattoos and play music part time. I play bass guitar (that's the one with 4 strings). Every once in a while I practice in my apartment for the sole purpose of pissing off my noisy upstairs neighbors. They think stomping on the floor will make me turn it down. They'd be wrong. I just turn it up louder so I can't hear them stomping.
I'm also not a natural "smiler". That's not to say I don't smile or that I'm always in a bad mood. Most often times, I'm not. I just have to be reminded occasionally to smile.
I've also been told my lips but I'm still scratching my head about that one...
Movies-"The Shawshank Redemption", "The Princess Bride", "The Boondock Saints", "Schindler's List", "Airplane!", "Blazing Saddles"
Books-I read a ton but anything from Eastern philosophy to the workings of the brain/mind (a debate in itself), science. Voltaire (Écrasez l'infâme!), Robert Ingersoll, Thomas Paine are among my favorite free-thought authors. When I read fiction, it's usually the mystery genre.
TV-"Dexter", "Modern Family", "Sherlock", "The Office", "The Big Bang Theory"...Bazinga
Stand-up: Robin Williams, George Carlin, Eddie Izzard, Billy Connolly, Ricky Gervais, Mitch Hedberg, Richard Jeni.
I sometimes tend to let my thoughts interrupt conversations I may be having. The reason being, if it's a relevant thought (ok, sometimes it's not), if I don't say it, the thought may not come back...or it will, but not for another 6 months...
If this stupid profile made you laugh or smile in any way. I mean, you read this far, didn't you?