38Washington, United States
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My self-summary
I'm a good guy looking to be great for a good girl. So let's go. Tell me where:

Hey. Let's go to Sonic Drive-In for lunch. There's one in Edgewater, MD, 30 miles away. It's an idea, anyway.

I am from the Midwest, and while I do not think the fact that I spent most of my childhood in Milwaukee is particularly insightful info about me, I have noticed that a ton of women note that they are "from the Midwest," so I guess us Midwesterners are the prideful sort and inclined to include that tidbit. :)

I don’t care what you do, but I do have a thing for smart chicks. I’d love to meet a nice girl and go hiking in Rock Creek Park. I want to go with you on a night-time monument tour. Or go mini-golfing. Let's locate a volunteer activity to do together that actually makes some kind of difference. Let's play tennis. Or go bowling.

Maybe you share my juvenile sense of humor, and appreciate my efforts to find some amusement at work:

I dare you to message me, tell me to buy you a beer (or margarita?) tomorrow, and then tomorrow drink your beer and tell me about you.
(But please, please do not tell me how many countries you have visited in your dating profile; did you see that episode of The West Wing where Toby loses a bet and has to tell everybody that he works in the White House?)
What I’m doing with my life
Working that 9 to 5 (8-4:30) in government life (having realized my adolescent dreams of one day becoming a federal bureaucrat), taking in the occasional exhibit on the Mall. Life would be even cooler with a couple more friends in DC. And a quality girl to take to a free concert at the Kennedy Center or any of a dozen Smithsonians (we'll trick ourselves into believing we're "cultured").
I’m really good at
I'll tell you what I'm not really good at: coming up with clever, flowery BS to answer questions like this. I guess I'm a good writer, as sexy as that is. But, if I really was a good writer, I suppose I'd be better at coming up with clever, flowery BS to answer questions like this. Hmmmm... it's a conundrum.
The first things people usually notice about me
Clearly my devastating good looks or striking intellect.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Let's eat a burrito from Chipotle and watch The Big Lebowski. And read The God Delusion; an insightful and entertaining book.

Best sentence ever written (but you gotta read the book--do you know which one?-- to fully appreciate this, the novel's final sentence):
"Sounds of a San Juan night, drifting across the city through layers of humid air; sounds of life and movement, people getting ready and people giving up, the sound of hope and the sound of hanging on, and behind them all, the quiet, deadly ticking of a thousand hungry clocks, the lonely sound of time passing in the long Caribbean night."

As far as television. West Wing and Scrubs are both amazing (fine, a decade ago). But a result of living without a TV since 2009 (Internet/Netflix suffice) is my being abysmally uninformed about so much contemporary pop culture, including television.

Turns out I like hummus.
Six things I could never do without
Besides you, I have absolutely no idea. =)
(I think I use too many emoticons, so should that be one of my six?)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I spend between 30 and 40 percent of my free time waxing on the spectacular practical bargain air conditioning is.

I spend the rest of my time marveling at how few rules of grammar I know for a guy with an MFA in Writing, whose job title is "Writer Editor."
Speaking of words, I want to know who concluded that cats have such bad grammar.

And seriously, I think about how it could be that I moved to DC in 2009, and I still feel new, and still don't have a solid local social/support network. I understand empirical evidence suggests I'm the problem, but I still think I should be a popular guy.
On a typical Friday night I am
I don't know that I want to answer, because sometimes it feels like half my Friday nights are highlighted by takeout Whole Foods and my building's gym. :(
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I wrote this asinine article. I think it's funny, politically spot-on, and I believe the angry response it elicited is more a reflection of simple readers and their inability to identify intellectual satire, than my own questionable values:

Also: since I left the private sector for government, I think I am having genuine existential (and I admit: I do not know what "existential" means) issues, on a daily basis, trying to decide if I should put 1 or 2 spaces between sentences. I truly can't decide, and I really do think about it more than I want to admit.

Also: I said that I'm an atheist on this profile, but, aargh, matey, that isn't exactly true. I am a dedicated pastafarian. ;)
You should message me if
If you are the only girl left who doesn't have her ears pierced.

You should message me if, like myself, you have never seen a single episode of "Lost," but are curious and want to start watching the show from Episode 1, Season 1.
UPDATE: I saw a bunch of episodes from season 1; disappointing. Decent, but not great.

If you want to help me figure out how to finish off my Rubik’s Cube, let’s talk. If you know what "CVS" stands for, please tell me?

If you have a preference for the serial comma, or not, I really would like to know your reasoning. And I am similarly and genuinely curious to hear your reasoning on 1 vs. 2 spaces between sentence. Is that nerdy? I didn't say I really cared, I'm just intrigued to know why. =)

If you're not boring, say hello; if you think maybe we could live happily ever after, please say hello; if you just think we could have some fun together, please say hello. ;)

If you're an intelligent girl who wants to meet a good guy. If you're politically liberal and find organized religion to be silly. If you want to teach me how to play the piano. Or the acoustic guitar. And if you play CalvinBall, I desperately want to meet you.
The two of us