33Columbia, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I'm a vegan, feminist, atheist, leftist, peaceful non-pacifist, artist who hates labels. (You see what I did there?)

You'll probably find some reason to be offended by me.

I like to sleep a lot because dreaming is like watching TV for me.

I once lived inside a giant redwood stump. :D

I've hitchhiked about 2,500 miles all together.

I like to take the tests on this site, even the excruciatingly dumb ones. Maybe I really want to know what my Greatest Elemental Juggalo Furry Super Power is, okay?!

I also really just keep this profile open for entertainment purposes. Seriously, some of the messages I get from people... *cringes*

I like awkward humor.

I happen to be one of very few experts on the history and development of modern vampirism as a spiritual movement. This is not an exaggeration.

I have a cat with a pretentiously long name.

I'm always in search of nice bath tubs. Mmm... bathing.

I've fulfilled the role of "Manic Pixie Dream Girl" way too fucking often in my life.

I don't like when people talk about quantum physics like they actually understand quantum physics. Unless you're actually a physicist. Then, I guess you have every right to. However, if you're just using it as a "science-y" excuse to prop up whatever new age spiritual flopdoodle you're attached to in the hopes that it will help it sound more legitimate, I will probably laugh at you, maybe to your face.

I am probably currently drunk on cheap wine and eating fried rice. I could also be drunk on expensive whiskey and eating spring rolls. Or maybe I'm just having some chai and aloo gobi.

I have one of these: http://sweetmaryofviolence.deviantart.com/
Also, one of these: http://iacknowledgebuttholesexist.tumblr.com/
And this: http://imgur.com/user/SweetMaryOfViolence
I might share my Facebook with you if I determine you're not a douche-skillet.

What is a "self," though, really? If I were to summarize my "self," would it really be accurate? Of course not. It would be a list of the positive or quirky or intriguing qualities I delude myself into thinking I have at my best moments while all the things about myself I'm uncomfortable with would get obfuscated into dust, along with whatever philosophies, perceptions, or errant thoughts I'm currently attached to, but are most likely just as fleeting as the majority of aspects of everyone's personalities.

Self: I'm an amorphous blob that rolls along the Earth's surface picking up whatever is on the ground that I think is useful. If I roll over you, and you fit snugly within my gooey innards, I might roll along with you for a while. Perhaps you can help me figure out if all the trash I've picked up along the way is worth keeping suspended within my wobbliness, like that anarchy thing that's been clanking around for a while, or those particular weird fetishes. Every five years or so, I change my color or texture, but I never stop rolling.
What I’m doing with my life
I go to MU Columbia, and I'm double majoring in Sociology and Journalism.
I'm an artist, writer, and all around creative weirdo.
Sometimes I play the ukulele.
Sometimes I make movies.
Sometimes I make multiple pans of baklava just because.
I’m really good at
Being nice to horrible/annoying people because I have a self-destructive sense of compassion which usually gets me into all sorts of trouble.

Being an asshole when I'm not trying to be.

Failing at being an asshole when I want to be.



Getting ALL THE SHIT done at the last minute.

Not being willing to admit that I'm a good artist.

Coming up with really good metaphors.
It's like I'm good at explaining stuff by talking about other stuff or something.

Experiencing stories, real or fictitious, as if I were actually in them.

Harnessing the chaotic powers of ennui to propel myself into a wide array of ill-advised adventures.

Biting, kicking, scratching, and cuddling.

Writing poetry (so says my poetry instructor and various others).

Somehow cobbling together a nice meal even if I've barely got any food left.

Err... I've got excellent leadership skills? :D
The first things people usually notice about me
People first notice that I've said or done something socially unacceptable in their presence. I often get pegged as "brash and distasteful" (actual description from one of my detractors) but it's probably because I have the debilitating disorder of always being honest and genuine. Nah, who the hell am I kidding? It's like my daddy always said: I fucking speak before I think. :D

I guess I'm the weird girl. And I'm not talking "Oh, she's got green hair! lololol!! That's so weird!" I'm talking "I'm pretty sure her lipstick is menstrual blood."

I like to make this face a lot -----> :D
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
TV: The Walking Dead, Mr. Show, Adventure Time, Superjail!, Game of Thrones, Portlandia, OitNB, Cosmos, Nova, Bob Ross, PBS, BBC documentaries, anything educational and science-y, various Youtube series.

Movies: NBK, God Bless America, pretty much anything with a good killing spree aimed at clearing society of useless flotsam. I find it cathartic. Is that disturbing?
Otherwise, I enjoy me some David Lynch, John Waters, Tarantino on occasion (though I think he's getting cliche these days as well).
French stuff. The French have this awesome way of reaching into the human psyche via symbolism and metaphor. Delicious.
I enjoy old stuff, such as Charlie Chaplin. I watched Metropolis recently, and then got supremely disappointed in myself for having never seen it up until that point. I also really like documentaries. I might start making my own one day.
Also, I'll greatly appreciate almost anything that passes the Bechdel Test.

Books: A lot of non-fiction, though I'm trying to branch out. I'm working on House of Leaves right now. I like Sylvia Plath because I think they'd take away my goth chick card if I didn't. I have three books that I'm currently in the middle of reading: Green is the New Red, House of Leaves, and The Left Hand of Darkness. Other than that, most of my reading is for school right now.
I heard recently that reading literary classics like Tolstoy will boost your emotional intelligence, so I added War and Peace to my Amazon wishlist. Do you think I'm cool yet? I sure do.

Music: Industrial, goth, punk, metal, riot grrl, 80s new wave/dark wave, 90s Lilith Fair-esque shit, cellos and pianos and shit.
Currently I'm listening to a lot of Dresden Dolls, Rasputina, Wumpscut, Bikini Kill, Babes in Toyland, Cradle of Filth, and above all else PORTISHEAD. If you have never fucked to Portishead, you don't know what genitalia is for.
I have quite the soft spot for bands like Orion Rigel Dommisse and The Tiny, which have been popping up on my Pandora a lot lately.
Moody ambient shit.
Someone once accused me of listening to exclusively depressing music.
However, I also really like show tunes, classical, and jazz.
Although... I guess those can be depressing too.

Oh, dang! Let me look in my Steam library real quick.
So, in list form (and without going into which version, because it's probably all versions), we have: The Sims, Portal, Grand Theft Auto, Minecraft, Spelunky, Silent Hill, Don't Starve, Civilization, and lots of shit I can't remember because I probably don't currently have a copy of it.
I grew up with Mario as my only positive Italian role model, so of course he'll always hold a special place in my heart.
As for tabletop, D&D FTW!!!

--- Stuff I Hate ---
TV: I'll probably get a lot of shit for this, but I have grown to loathe Family Guy. I get it. You're trying to be "edgy." Good job, you one note bastards. Same with South Park. I'm just over it.
I generally don't like sitcoms. Something about the laugh track makes me cringe...

Music: Okay, I'll say it, I don't like Tool. Perhaps more specifically, I don't like obsessive Tool fanboys who would sell one of their testicles just for a chance to lick one of Maynard's. He's not a god. He's not even all that great of a human. I used to listen to Tool, but eventually everything started to sound the same to me. I get it, Maynard; you want us to pry open our third eyes or something. Can you sing about something else now?
Six things I could never do without
Existential crises
Overprotective footware
Crucifix shaped dildo
I spend a lot of time thinking about
If left by myself for too long, my mind tries to swallow the entire universe at once. It's terrifying.
I'm often accused of being over-analytical.

How poorly humans communicate with one another. I aim to change that!

Encouraging straight men to take it in the bum.

Whether or not academic accolades are really all that worthwhile.
(Not that I do poorly in school; I'm actually usually best in my class.)

How I should go out and buy some tempeh.

How sick I am of zombies being a cultural thing now.

How every "open" relationship I've ever seen has never worked. Sorry, I know some of you might think it's "the most natural" to slap your squishy bits up against as many other squishy bits as possible, but literally every single relationship I've seen that has tried to follow this dynamic has failed because of said squishy bit slapping. Yes, yes, I know it's not all about sex. But you know how if you own 12 cats or dogs or whatever, you cannot possibly provide them all the love, care, and attention they need equally, and will probably have the health department coming to take some of them away? Yeah. That's how I view polyamory.
Call me selfish, but I prefer the intense emotional focus of monogamy. Everyone is entitled to do whatever they want, and I'm not going to try to stop it, but if you can't stay within those boundaries with me, it might be time to find someone else.

How different Kant would have been if he had ever met a Nazi.

The painting I should finish.

The new art projects I should start.

The lack of sleep I get.
On a typical Friday night I am
Doing homework, doing volunteer stuff for Planned Parenthood, baking bread, drinking all the booze, baking bread while drinking all the booze, baking bread with booze in it, or helping drag queens pull up their panties.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Math is my kryptonite. I just... I can't math. Every time I learn a new formula or anything mathy, whatever math info I had stored in my brain previously gets pushed right the fuck out. I have finite math space in my brain meat. It is my greatest shame. :(

I guess I'm willing to admit anything, so just ask.
You should message me if
You have a thing for tortured artists.
You're not a robot, but you have robot-like abilities.
You're intrigued by the idea of border abolition.
You're not just some hedonist.
You're secretly a hedonist anyway.
You like to play all sorts of roleplaying games, but the thought of spending 12 hours on WoW is kind of disgusting to you.
You have good reading comprehension (this has been a consistent problem with most people whom I converse with on this site).

Absolutely do not message me if
You think wearing a fedora makes you look cool.
You're just looking for a fuck buddy.
You can't form a coherent sentence.
You're a "truther."
You just want to tell me how delicious your bloody steak is or talk about your love affair with bacon (Ha! So original! Like I've never heard that before!).
Body hair offends you.
You think Ayn Rand was the greatest philosopher of our time.
You ever use the term "friend zone." Just... ever.
The two of us