OwenSpeak
38 Melbourne, Australia
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OwenSpeak
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My self-summary
Hello Stranger!

I suppose you've come to this page to find out about me - so I'll put aside that self-conscious feeling of overindulgence I get when I talk about myself and get on with it.

Where to start... I was born; eldest of five. Growing up was all about regular camping/road trips, sit-down dinners every Sunday, and board/card games - played with such ferocious competition, that Genghis Khan would've paled.

I'm enamoured by the idea of extended family (that is, community) - all the world's problems could be solved if people were just nice and looked after each other. I went to a rather community orientated, alternative education school, which probably contributed to that. I have fantasies of a George Bailey-esque Christmas.

For work, I have a small consulting company, which I built with my PhD supervisors. This mostly involves creating statistical models of threatened species, bugs and houses burning down - it's frightfully sexy. My PhD was a hybrid of computer science and evolutionary biology.

I'm open/honest to a fault, think that communication is paramount in all relationships, and get on best with people who are like-minded in that respect.
What I’m doing with my life
Jeez Mum! Get off my case, I'll sort it out soon...

I'm still in the process of recovering from the trauma of finishing a ridiculously overdue thesis. Seriously, what a fucker! I am, however, looking forward to the day when airline staff ask me to assist in an emergency amputation, because I insist on calling myself "Doctor" when checking in.

Presently, as I stumble down the steps of the ivory tower, I'm looking to becoming something resembling a responsible adult (or, at least, feign an attempt at one), whilst maintaining a child-like open mindedness and idealism.
I’m really good at
Avoiding questions that require me to talk myself up in an overt manner.

For some reason, I feel most liberated in my writing when being self-deprecating. I've got qualities which could be good or bad, depending on who you're asking. I certainly don't presume to be everybody's cup of tea. Rather than attempt a boast (really, it's not hard to spin gold from straw, when you've got an audience looking to be impressed), I prefer to ramble and flourish my flaws; spinning them like polished coins, so that they'll simultaneously bedazzle the person who is right for me, whilst deterring the one who isn't.
The first things people usually notice about me
I suppose that would be my lack of manliness. I really can't be arsed trying to conform to the male stereotype. I find watching sport incredibly boring and I cry a stupid amount of the time.

I'm usually shy around strangers, until I break some seal by blurting out something ridiculously personal about myself. After that, I'll happily run around under your garden sprinkler without any clothes!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Ah... The inevitable 'what really matters is "what you like", not "what you are like"' section. I fear I must deny the weary, overly polite, reader the opportunity to skip a section (fuck it, you can skip, if you want!). Instead, I'll give into my tendency to ramble and try to write something revealing about myself - I will, nevertheless, indulge in a bit of shameless, unreferenced, quote dropping.

I derive a lot of pleasure from films, books and music. A lot of smarter, artsy-fartsy stuff, but a good dose of faff as well. As for the twaddle I get all swoony groupie about, I'm a sucker for magical realism, story telling and personal confessions revelling in the awkwardness of human existence.

Boy, I love a beautifully crafted song lyric. It seems that most of the music I love is about heart break (and the inevitable sexual frustration that follows). Singers who's idea of romance is having a double-decker bus crash into yourself and loved one (such a heavenly way to die!). I used to love making mix tapes to woo would be romantic interests. Apparently the best tape I ever made was a break up tape...

In my younger, super impressionable, years, I was besotted by those crypto-homo glam rockers - Bowie, Iggy and Mercury - who's crotches make me question my sexuality. Oh, and the dirty Beat poet/writers, who had a penchant for injecting themselves with heroin and cock. I thought I might be gay for a while. Except I didn't desire to sleep with men and I think about lady bits all the time (and then, of course, there's the prohibitive standards of hygiene, and all that dancing!). Turns out, I was just a little bit poofy. The politics of sexuality, gender and relationships fascinate me. If I ever detect a hint of homophobia (or, more generally, sex negativity) in another, I'll quite maliciously let them believe I'm gay just to rile them (sorry mum!) - I suppose this is a bit punk.
The six things I could never do without
I could never do a profile without a list.
I could never do a picnic without brie.
I could never do a road trip without a daggy singalong.
I could never do a bicycle ride without a seat.
I could never do a date without a smiling accomplice.
I could never do a philosophical discussion without a mildly addictive drink (actually, scratch that, I just need oxygen).
I could never do a question without breaking the rules.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I worry a lot about expression in writing; I'm perfectionist and I obsess about clearly articulating my rambling nonsensical thoughts. Often I over think and rewrite sentences so much that I create little monsters that no one can understand but me. With a pride reminiscent of Frankenstein, I let these miscreants flutter out into the world, like demented butterflies, and wonder that other's hearts don't break on encountering their beauty.
On a typical Friday night I am
doing something similar to Wednesday morning. Sometimes I have breakfast for dinner and dinner for breakfast. That's the type of crazy existence I lead. No really, I like getting out for gigs, movies and assorted adrenalin activities. Although, I'm quite partial to a quiet evening at home (I'm a bit of a Nanna). Besides, there's not many wild parties anymore - all my friends are popping out babies all over the place and are no longer available for Friday evening shenanigans.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Despite any outward appearance to the contrary, inside I'm really just a frightened child. I'm an awkward, introspective, introverted type, and tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. Sometimes I feel like the only person in the world who hasn't got their shit together.
You should message me if
you're a dingledodie! I'm most interested in people who live to think and feel; to talk and listen with compassion; who's values extend beyond materialism and social status; are feminist and think gender roles are balls; who care about others, but are up for a bit of social vandalism.

That's not very specific, is it? I don't know... It's hard to describe an ideal partner, without meeting them first. Also, I'm aware, by indicating negative filters I'll deter those who are self critical, who may very well be the best for me.

One point worth dwelling on, to avoid any confusion: I am polyamorous. For me, this means I'm open to all types of connections (sexual or "just friends"; long or short) provided they are both meaningful and sincere. If you don't know what polyamorous means, and you can't be arsed googling it, but nevertheless feel compelled to write me, try to work the word "awkward" into your message.

Well, that's it! Thank you for indulging me my little rant - I hope you enjoyed the show? It is a tad waffly, isn't it? Like a forlorn peacock, desperately strutting its stuff, I tried to put some thought and pizzazz behind it. That said, there's a fine line between a thoughtful profile and one that's in danger of disappearing up its own arsehole. So if you like my photos, in spite of all the jabber, you should send me a message.

Cheerio
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