I suppose you've come to this page to find out about me - so I'll put aside that self-conscious feeling of overindulgence I get when I talk about myself and get on with it.
Where to start... I was born. Growing up was all about running amok in the forest, community-oriented alternative education, and orchestrating grand theatrical productions with my siblings and friends, whilst wearing a tea cozy on my head, with my cowlick sticking out the spout slit.
One day I forgot the route back to Neverland, and gave myself over to more adult pursuits. I built a small consulting company with my PhD supervisors to occupy my time - work that involves creating statistical models of grass, bugs and houses burning down (it's frightfully sexy). My torturous thesis was a hybrid of computer science and evolutionary biology - creating artificial worlds in computers, so I could perform experiments on the inhabitants.
I'm an ethical non-monogamous relationship anarchist (which sounds terribly wanky, I know...). For the uninitiated, this means I believe relationships should be based on a foundation of communication, consent and self-determination, rather than entitlement. Although this isn't inherently non-monogamous, I am currently in a non-monogamous relationship (but live solo).
I'm still recovering from the trauma of finishing a ridiculously overdue thesis. Seriously, what a fucker! I am, however, looking forward to the day when airline staff ask me to assist in an emergency amputation, because I insist on calling myself "Doctor" when checking in.
For some reason, I feel most liberated in my writing when being self-deprecating. I've got qualities which could be good or bad, depending on who you're asking. I certainly don't presume to be everybody's cup of tea. Rather than attempt a boast, I prefer to ramble and flourish my flaws; spinning them like golden coins, so they'll simultaneously bedazzle the ones who are right for me, whilst deterring the ones who aren't.
In my younger, super impressionable, years, I was besotted by those crypto-homo glam rockers - Bowie, Iggy and Mercury - whose crotches make me question my sexuality. Oh, and the dirty Beat poet/writers, who had a penchant for injecting themselves with heroin and cock. I thought I might be gay for a while. Except I didn't desire to sleep with men and I think about lady bits all the time (and then, of course, there's the prohibitive standards of hygiene, and all that dancing!). Turns out, I was just a little bit poofy. The politics of sexuality, gender and relationships fascinate me. If I ever detect a hint of homophobia (or, more generally, sex negativity) in another, I'll quite maliciously let them believe I'm gay just to rile them (sorry mum!) - I suppose this is a bit punk.
I could never do a picnic without a tree.
I could never do a road trip without a daggy singalong.
I could never do a bicycle ride without a seat.
I could never do a date without an enthusiastic accomplice.
I could never do a philosophical discussion without a mildly addictive drink.
I could never do a question without breaking the rules.