35 Riverside, United States
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My self-summary
I live by two main quotes:

- “When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!” - Cave Johnson

“For me, I am driven by two main philosophies: know more today about the world than I knew yesterday and lessen the suffering of others. You'd be surprised how far that gets you.” - Neil Degrasse Tyson

Like any other straight male, I enjoy: long walks on the beach, zombies, candle-lit dinners, the chocolate at the bottom of a Drumstick, puppies(seriously, puppies), video games, cuddling, beer, peanut butter, ultra violence, and anything with a lot of bass.

TL;DR - I am motherfucking awesomesauce.
What I’m doing with my life
Forwarding my career and becoming a gym rat.
I’m really good at
In no particular order:
- Pissing people off
- Sarcasm
- Cooking
- Playing guitar - aka making metal
- Cussing
- Impressions of my favorite cartoon characters(my Skwisgaar rules)
The first things people usually notice about me
That I can give Adam Corrolla a run for his money when it comes to bitching and complaining about things?

That sometimes my sarcasm is so dry that said target is left wondering if I was being serious or not?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
There's too much to list so i'll just cover the basics here:

My favorite kinds of books are autobiographies.
My favorite kinds of movies are comedy / action / dramedy.
My favorite kinds of music are rock, alternative, metal... but I do love other types of music too.
My favorite kinds of food are Mexican, American and Japanese.
The six things I could never do without
1) Red Bull or Monster Energy
2) Beer
3) Foreman Grill
4) Nutrients
5) Jokes
6) Technology things aka - electricals.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
If people could read minds, and two people were reading each others minds... wouldn't they be reading their own minds?

If a vampire bites a zombie will it turn into a zombie or the will the zombie turn into a vampire?

If alcohol is a depressant, why is it called happy hour?
On a typical Friday night I am
Typical? I dunno. I try to be out and about somewhere like a comedy club, show, podcast taping or a sushi bar. Sometimes I stay home and watch things.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Trust me, there is NOTHING private about my life. Everything is funny to me and I don't mind putting it out there.
You should message me if
You are Natalie Portman.

If you aren't Natalie Portman but want to:
- watch Archer
- go hiking
- check out a live show of sorts(music, comedy, podcast or otherwise)
- discover new restaurants
- talk about things we've read on reddit
- do things of similar ilk; Hit me up!