65Cave Junction, United States
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My self-summary
To summarize myself in one sentence, I'm a man in process.

What? One sentence isn't enough? All right.

I think it's important to live life with originality and authenticity. To manifest the courage to be who you are and to be fully present in your life with joy, humility, appreciation, and wonder. This is something I'm getting better at every day. But at the same time, as I'm progressing, I'm content with where I am now (for the time being)--it's a good place to be while I'm working on it.

I recently moved to Oregon from San Diego. After a decades-long estrangement from my parents, I am now making up for lost time with my mother after the death of my father. A few years ago I couldn't have imagined my life now. It's wonderful to have that link to family in my life again. It's enriching. But it isn't everything. I want a woman in my life too.

I've been working on my first novel for a while. I've been through three first drafts so far in search of the right start, and the process of failing has made me a better writer. In the same way, the process of being an imperfect man has made me a better man. "Perfecting" is a lifelong journey. You can't let finishing be what it's all about, or you're just aiming for the end of the line. The point of it really is in the doing, isn't it?

Understanding when it's time to abandon a first draft going nowhere is like knowing when to give up on a bad relationship. Your friends may urge you to keep the faith and to push on. Don't listen to them. They don't know you like you know you. You know when it's hopeless.

Knowing when to quit is a hallmark of hard-won wisdom but is largely ignored in philosophical dicta. Why is that? I think maybe it's because even in the vast halls of posterity, optimistic visions of success sell better than realistic advice on bailing a bad sitch. (And denial probably predates literature.)

Well, I don't care what sells. Even here on OKC. What I care about is saying what I mean and meaning what I say. I know that's unfashionable, but screw it.

And I will appreciate the same sincerity from you.

I'm an amateur songwriter, but I dabble in other creative pursuits too. I won some writing and performing awards in a national competition, but my real ambition is to write a stage musical. I think what I've done so far in music has been mostly about preparing me for that.

You might wonder about my handle. Why would I say I'm not Dave? I'll tell you why. Because Dave is a name that has come to represent a certain kind of guy to me. A typical Dave high-fives at the slightest opportunity. A typical Dave eats drive-thru burgers in his car and has never ordered a salad in his life. When he finds a newspaper, he looks only at the sports section. He wouldn't be caught dead at a ballet and doesn't like cats, because he's out of touch touch with his feminine side and doesn't trust himself with his feminine side. He still spends time with his video games and reads comic books, which he calls graphic novels. And he insists on wearing his ball cap with the bill backwards so he looks like a moron. He's a boy in a man's body. I'm not a freaking Dave. I'm Peter.

I'm more conservative than liberal, more libertarian than conservative, and more distrustful of politicians and bureaucrats than anything else. I will never take the rights and privileges of being an American for granted. If you adore our current President, you're probably not for me.

The kind of woman I'd like to meet is intelligent, creative, imaginative, articulate, and attractive. As an ideal, I guess maybe like a bimbo rocket scientist. (Just kidding!) No, really, I'm looking for a woman who knows and likes herself but isn't self-absorbed. Someone with integrity. You're going to need to know how to have a good conversation. It's amazing how conversation has become almost a lost art.

If you type in no caps or all caps, you're probably not on my stylistic wavelength by a considerable margin. If you use the word "literally" and don't mean it literally, I won't believe a thing you say. If you really believe that we all inherited Original Sin for events in which we had no part, then we're not on the same planet. And if you choose not to include a photo in your profile, then in my opinion you have Arrested Reciprocation Syndrome. I know some women will read this and conclude that I have Irritable Anus Disorder. But I gotta be me, and you gotta be you. Some things should be revealed early; it saves a lot of wasted time.

To the right woman, I'm a prince of a fellow and an utter delight. And I can't wait to find her, because I will adore her, cherish her, and love her. And I'll be the best friend she ever had or could ever want.

Things I like include my key lime smoothies, low-budget filmmaking, old Vincent Price movies (the cheesier the better), maneuvering proselytizing Christians into traps of logical contradiction, Emerson's essays (especially Self Reliance), and healthy people with robust curiosity about the world around them.

Things I don't like? Wire hangers (used as hangers; I mean, they're good for other stuff), drivers who tailgate at highway speed, macho dickheads who give all men a bad name, and people who talk in the library like it's a bar at happy hour. Also idiots with subwoofers turned up in their cars that make my liver quiver as they drive by. Morons in general. Especially mouth-breathing table-drummers.

Wow, you've read all the way down to here? Then at least you have my kind of attention span! If you found any of this intriguing or refreshingly resonant or funny or wise, then maybe you should send me a little note and say hi. Maybe you're the one I'm looking for. But even if you're not, I hope your experience on OKC is enjoyable and ultimately satisfying.
What I’m doing with my life
Currently I'm writing songs for my first album. (I have a small studio at home.) Also learning how to build a website so I can sell CDs online.
I’m really good at
Public speaking should probably be on this list. I was on the radio for 17 years at stations up and down the West Coast. Now I'm a freelance public speaker, giving interesting and entertaining presentations on several subjects.

I'm not a bad songwriter. When I'm not behind on rehearsing (as I am at the moment), I'm a pretty good singer too.

I'm a pretty good writer. I've written advertising copy over the years for radio and TV commercials. I have a one-act play I'm expanding into a three-act stage musical. But I don't talk about works in progress.

If you'd like a general answer, I'm "really good at" analyzing things and figuring them out. I'm a thinker. That's just how I turned out. My education is never ending because I have a robust curiosity about almost everything I don't understand. I ask a lot of questions.
The first things people usually notice about me
1. I'm better looking than my pictures.
2. If you listen carefully, there's that radio thing in my voice. It's not prominent, but it's still there just from old habits.
3. I'm smart.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books, off the top of my head:

1. The Caine Mutiny by Herman Wouk
2. Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson
3. Presumed Innocent by Scott Turow
4. How Music Really Works! by Wayne Chase
5. Complete Essays by Ralph Waldo Emerson
6. The Importance of Living by Lin Yutang

Movies, again just listing what I can think of now:

1. Bubba Ho-Tep
2. 24-Hour Party People
3. Plan 9 from Outer Space
4. As Good As It Gets
5. The Big Lebowski
6. The Man Who Wasn't There
7. Shakespeare in Love
8. Anonymous
9. Deathtrap
10. Cannery Row
11. One-Eyed Jacks
12. Five Easy Pieces
13. The Descendants

TV Shows:

1. Mad Men
2. Deadwood
3. Slings and Arrows
4. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
5. Extras
6. Six Feet Under
7. Shameless


1. Aspects of Love
2. Phantom of the Opera
3. Deathtrap
4. Dial M for Murder
5. Sleuth
6. J. C. Superstar


1. Fleetwood Mac
2. Adele
3. Bob Seger
4. Alexander Perls
5. Good TV commercial jingles
6. The Darkness
7. Early Who (with Entwistle and Moon)
8. Frank Zappa


Generally, I like healthy food. I don't eat much meat. I've been vegetarian for years at a time in times past, but I'm currently an occasional carnivore. Sometimes I can get addictive with food, so I try not to eat recreationally. I figure if the most interesting thing I can think of doing is to eat when I'm not hungry, then I really need to work on fixing my life. When eating socially, to me it's about the company, not the cuisine.
Six things I could never do without
Well.... "never" is a big word. I could do without a lot of things that most people think are absolutely necessary. I'm pretty good at adapting to the circumstances. I honestly can't think of six things I could NEVER do without. So how about a list of six things I'd RATHER not be without? Here goes, in no particular order.

1. Writing materials.
2. Drinking water.
3. Reading glasses.
4. Pocketknife.
5. Wallet.
6. Keys.

Does that seem too practical and unimaginative? Hey, I have to cover the bases for the necessary items before we get to the luxuries, right? Too bad it wasn't supposed to be a list of the top TWELVE items....
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I spend a lot of time thinking about what I can learn from the current situation. I believe that what we commonly call problems are really lessons in funky clothes. I think there's an opportunity to get smarter every time something happens that we wouldn't have chosen. We all face circumstances like that. And every time it happens to me, I try to benefit from it, first of all by getting through it in the best shape I can, and secondly by figuring it out. Maybe I'll figure out why it happened to me. Maybe I'll figure out why it happens at all--to anyone. And if it's good, maybe I'll figure out how I can get it to happen more.

That's my general answer. But specifically, lately I've been thinking creatively. I've been working on songs and a website to promote me as a recording artist, a public speaker, and just an interesting dude.
On a typical Friday night I am
Well, lately I haven't been getting out much. Sometimes I turn into a wallflower and just do nerdy things in my office. I will admit to you here and now, with manageable shame, that one Friday night not long ago I spent a few hours doing my filing. Filing! On a Friday night! Obviously I needed to sign up on OK Cupid, right?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
The most private thing I'm willing to admit to a real person is considerably more private than the most private thing I'm willing to admit to anybody who comes along to read it. And that latter category of thing would top out at around this admission:

The first date I ever went on was after I graduated from high school. I was a nerd.
You should message me if
You should message me if all of the following are true.

1. You're a smart, attractive, unmarried woman.
2. You've been able to read my profile without wishing you were doing something more interesting.
3. You like good intelligent conversation.
4. You're not an Occupy protester.
5. You believe in the Second Amendment.
6. You like a man who thinks.
7. You don't have perforated AND STRETCHED earlobes.
8. Your face is tattoo-free.
9. You are not attracted to abusive men. (I would disappoint you.)
10. You have no stalker tendencies.
The two of us