30 Cambridge, United States
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My self-summary
I hope you're a joker. Not THE joker, just someone who can laugh easily. I don't take much of anything seriously. If you think there's anything in life too sacred or too vile to laugh at...we probably won't get along. I'm something like a nonchalant version of the Comedian from Watchmen. If you think Louie C.K. is the most brilliant man on television, we'll probably get along.
What I’m doing with my life
Whatever I damned well please.
I’m really good at
Flicking balls at imaginary animals. Genital origami.
The first things people usually notice about me
Probably the feverish semi-lucid look in my eyes. I'll ask what else the next time I catch someone staring.
The six things I could never do without
cheese, beer, wine, a great kitchen, my computer, my phone.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Millions of 🍑s...
On a typical Friday night I am
Playing PokemonGo.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I always confuse John Hughes with John Holmes.
You should message me if
If you're a size queen hunting for that elusive aubergine🍆.

If you're as bored as I am and want to babble incomprehensibly.

If you saw a hawk today.