34Tucson, United States
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My self-summary
Make no mistake, the emotions of an INTJ are hard to read... they have a strong need for privacy, and they do not enjoy physical contact except with a chosen few. For all that, however, Masterminds are deeply emotional, even romantic types, and once they have decided a person is worthy of them, they make passionate and loyal mates...
– Please Understand Me II

I distrust authority on principle but I earn my money as a petty bureaucrat- this makes me something like a spineless iconoclast. I try to have a clever comment for any situation, but it's so seldom appropriate to voice it. I listen to big band and swing, but I hate to dance. I'm excessively early to movies, precisely on time to parties, and generally overdressed for any occasion. I would rather walk than drive, which is why I've moved closer to work and my favorite bars– I'm not so much environmentally conscious as sedentary and a bad driver.

I would describe myself as tranquil. It sounds like a superlative, but if we expound on the idea it becomes less flattering. I enjoy staying in and watching a movie, reading, or having an odd and topic-jumping conversation with a friend. I don't like excessive noise or crowds. I'm quiet. I've been accused of being emotionally distant, but only by non-romantic acquaintances.

I live with one cat. She describes me as slow-witted, but comfortable.
What I’m doing with my life
A bureaucrat is the most despicable of men, though he is needed as vultures are needed, but one hardly admires vultures whom bureaucrats so strangely resemble. I have yet to meet a bureaucrat who was not petty, dull, almost witless, crafty or stupid, an oppressor or a thief, a holder of little authority in which he delights, as a boy delights in possessing a vicious dog. Who can trust such creatures?
– Cicero

I try to write screenplays, speculative short stories, and mystery novels. I'd like one day to make a living with words, but my total compensation for all my works has thusfar amounted to a t-shirt, a kiss and $50. I like to play air hockey in bars. I waste time on the internet, specifically LiveJournal. I read and watch movies– I would be a better person if I did more of the former than the latter.

I play board games and roleplaying games, or would like to, but most of my partners in crime have left for less arid locales. I used to hike, fish and camp, but I'd prefer to just sit on a roof and stare at the sky quietly; it's less sweaty and I have access to hot water and soap.
The first things people usually notice about me
I wear a variety of bow ties.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
A) The mysteries of Conan-Doyle, Chandler and Stout. British wits in the vein of Douglas Adams (Dirk Gently more than Hitchhiker's) and Terry Pratchett. Spy novels by John LeCarre and Eric Ambler. Philosophical fantastics like Murakami and Jorge Luis Borges.

Specific works include A Confederacy of Dunces, Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, Apathy (and Other Small Victories), The Master and Margarita, The Club Dumas, and A Canticle for Leibowitz.

B) The first shelf of my DVD rack: The Big Lebowski (and most Coen endeavors), The Princess Bride, The Third Man, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Zero Effect, Charade, Lawrence of Arabia, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Dr. Strangelove, In Bruges. I'm a voracious movie-watcher, so I've probably seen your favorites as well.

C) My favorite band is Pink Martini. My favorite album is Van Morrison's Moondance. I sing Sinatra and Martin at karaoke. I was one of the Blues Brothers for Halloween.

D) I gravitate toward all-night diners, since I eat out constantly. I have a theory that I would enjoy eating healthy, but so far my only good quality in this regard is that I'm addicted to grapefruit juice.
Six things I could never do without
Barring life's essentials:

Computer with internet, books, movies, like-minded confederates, a sense of purpose and at least one area of competence.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The systems of human interaction.

Philosophy, ethics, economics and political science.

Fictional worlds.
On a typical Friday night I am
Testing the theory that booze can act as fuel for a creative mind. I intend to be thorough (not Thoreau).
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
In my youth, I set the vacuum cleaner on fire.
You should message me if
If you find me amusing.
If you have a high tolerance for geekery.
If you're using me to get to my cat.
The two of us