28Manhattan, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I got a pocket full of sunshine by day and one full of moonshine by night.

This profile could use a bit of flair. Some awards? Anyone? Bueller?
What I’m doing with my life
Surreptitiously rebelling against my Mormon upbringing, mostly by dancing burlesque on the weekends. You'd think my flask would come in handy after sundown. But you'd be wrong. It's so much better at a large media company.

I intend to be an English high school teacher before I'm thirty. I wield my red pen ruthlessly. It bites.
I’m really good at
Well, shit, I'm flexible. And I have some nifty SAT words in my daily vocabulary. Teach me a new word, and I'll scramble you up some eggs, sugar. But I take mine unfertilized.
The first things people usually notice about me
My gait. If I could wear heels in my apartment, I would. But then my floors would get scuffed. It's heels to work, at work, from work. And in the bedroom.

Fuck flats. They're misshapen condoms for feet. Especially those sequin-adorned podiatric boat-like contraceptives.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I chucked my television out of my window several months ago. It was beautiful (and safe, because my windows overlook a closed courtyard, rather than the street).

Luckily, I have an internet connection. All of you need to go watch The Business of Being Born. Ahoraaa.

And y'all need to do some serious reading on yourbrainonporn.com
Six things I could never do without
Testicles (yours, not mine)
Intellectual stimulation
Genital Stimulation
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How I compromised my refusal to join Xanga, MySpace, Facebook, or LinkedIn over the years by signing up for this silliness.
On a typical Friday night I am
Thinking of new office-friendly colors for my hair.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I hold the door for folks, but only when they're halfway across the room, just to see how far they'll run for 'common courtesy'.

I've always wondered what it would be like to be a guy, in that whole dominant sexual piercing sense. But I'm 100% against pegging.
You should message me if
your fingers are adept at striking keys in manners that extend beyond "what's" and "up".

Sheeeit, No IMs.

You want to talk about your findings and experience with yourbrainonporn.com
The two of us